The Balm to Your Suffering
by Rosabelle Meave Sterling
Summary: The Trickster fell from the sky & remembered everything. He looked around his surroundings & when he thought all was lost, a familiar face helped him through the darkest times... Black Widow. She hadn't gone in search of him to aid him, and probably shouldn't have. But something about him seemed different & pulled at her. The two face off & fall, but will things end well for them?
1. 1: Arrival and Departure

**_I do not Own Marvel or the Avengers. Disney does. I do not own all of these events. This is a collaboration work- rather... based on a role play I am in with Saria-the- phoenix on tumblr. She makes the most amazing Loki EVAR!. Thank you for reading this disclaimer and Enjoy the BlackFrost._**

"You are unworthy of these realms, you're unworthy of your title, you're unworthy... of the loved ones you have betrayed! I now take from you your power! In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!"  
Those were the last words Loki heard as he got wrenched from the land he had called home. The last sight he saw was his father and brother watching him as he plummeted through the void to he wouldn't know where. After hitting the hard ground with a thud he groaned and looked around. Why did this seem familiar? Why did this place look so similar? He got up, wincing with each movement and looked around, craning his neck to see everything. The bright lights around hurt his eyes in the dimming of sunlight and he covered them, wincing from the lacerations and wounds he had on his body from his punishment in Asgard for his crimes against Earth. Crimes he didn't commit willingly. But no one seemed to want to hear him. His own father sewed his mouth shut for months after he told his father the truth. He walked through the busy streets and saw the letters NYC on a yellow car with a sign on top of it. NYC… New York City. That's why he remembered it. He had tried to start a war here months ago. Finally being able to take it no longer he ducked into a dark alley, hiding from the lights and sounds of the city.  
Natasha Romanoff had familiarized herself with the dossier so well that she knew she couldn't fail. Over her shoulder she carried a garment bag, the outfit she would wear to her party, her interrogation. She walked down the sidewalk towards her apartment when she heard a groan come from an alley. Looking over she saw someone curled up and seemed to be bleeding. Normally she would have kept walking, but something jumped out at her. It was the colors they wore and the style of dress the person had on. She stepped into the alley and looked down at the man curled up in pain. She extended her hand and said, "Take my hand."

Loki looked up at the woman helping him and seemed to recognize her voice. Taking her hand he stood up and nodded in thanks. "Thank you," he said simply to the woman.

She nodded and looked at him. She walked out onto the side walk and extended her hand again. "Please will you come here?" she asked him.

He didn't know why but he followed the woman's plea and stepped into the light. There the woman could see his damaged armor, his black hair, his bleeding wounds, and she knew who he was. Her gaze steeled and her expression hardened. "Loki," She said coldly.

It was then that he realized who the woman before him was. "Agent Romanoff," he said looking at the SHIELD agent before him. He didn't sound cocky, he didn't sound arrogant as he had before. He sounded broken, tired, and alone. Natasha picked up on his tone and tilted her head actually taking note of his bleeding wounds. "Come with me," She said randomly. Holding his hand she gently helped him walk to her apartment. Once through the door she sat him in a kitchen chair and put her garment bag in her bedroom. From her bathroom she brought out the first aid kit and set it on the table beside Loki. Instead of starting her semi-triage medical care, she went into the kitchen and brought forth a bottle of Russian vodka and two shot glasses. "You may have fine things in Asgard, but this is one of the finer things you'll find here," She said as she set the vodka down on the table.

She sat in a chair she moved next to him and started treating the places she could. His bruising and lacerations were varied in their healing stages. Some were new, some were older. He sat and took her care, not having any pride to stand in the way of him getting treated. He truly was broken having fallen from the pedestal he put himself on. She poured the clear alcohol into the small glasses and handed one to Loki. "Zdorovʹye" she said, meaning health in Russian. She took the shot quickly and smiled at the familiar burning of the vodka on the back of her throat. Loki took his shot and didn't mind the burn of the alcohol which surprised the former Russian quite a bit.

She didn't know how to ask her former enemy, a god, to strip his armor and tunic so she could bandage the rest of him. She tried pulling it herself and he got the message. He shed his emerald armor and tunic, exposing his bare torso covered in wounds and scars on his back. She didn't care about the cuts; she just, for some random reason she didn't understand, wanted to make sure he was taken care of. She tended to his wounds and bandaged him up to help him heal. "Thank you," he murmured quietly to the redhead.

She nodded curtly and looked into his eyes. "Why are you here? Weren't you supposed to be in Asgard?" she asked surveying his features to detect a lie.

"I was, but it is a rather long story. If you would like, I will tell it to you," he said looking into her emerald eyes. She saw a sadness and pain in his eyes she didn't see the last time she spoke with him. But his vision was clouded by something she didn't quite know what it was.

"I've got a mission to do. But I'll be back soon," she said getting up and walking to her bedroom. She closed the door and got busy readying herself. Pulling out the emerald colored mini dress she slipped it on and it fit like a glove. It showed her figure without being to revealing, the hem line stopping just about mid-thigh. She put on her jewelry and carried her silver strappy heels in her hand. He draped a black jacket over her arm and walked out of the bedroom to see Loki had moved from his chair to her couch.

She debated on whether or not she should carry her gun with her and she decided against it. She'd keep the gun in her car and instead decided on a blade. She put her foot up on the chair Loki had been sitting in and strapped a black Velcro band around her upper thigh. Loki only turned around once and then saw the position she was in. Seeing her in that pose he quickly turned around and averted his eyes, he was still a gentleman after all.

The hidden blade what just that, hidden. Seamless the knife would go unnoticed and she smiled knowing she had protection now. She walked over to the couch and looked at her visitor who looked up at her sheepishly almost. "You're welcome to anything here in the apartment," She said quietly and she put on her jacket. He looked her up and down once smiling at how beautiful she looked. Granted he noticed that while he was locked in the cell, but he couldn't tell her that then. He didn't even think he could tell her now. This woman could kill him in an instant now since he was now mortal. "You look, lovely," he managed out quietly.

She blinked and looked at him. "Thank you," She said slightly confused by the random compliment. The last time she had spoken to him, he threatened her with using her partner to kill her, slowly and intimately, in every way he knew she feared. She walked to the door and turned her head slightly to look at him. "You know I remember everything you said, right?" She asked halfway out of the door. He turned and looked at her, nodding in reply. "I'll explain everything when you return. And thank you, for being hospitable to me… even through everything I have done," He said in a tone unfamiliar to her from him. It was sincere, not sincerity inside pride or vanity, but plain sincerity.

It was her turn to nod her head in reply as she said, "You're welcome." She walked out of the apartment and onto her mission. She knew it wouldn't take long for her mission, two hours… three at the most for one of this kind. If there were two things she was good at, it was getting information and living up to the name Black Widow.

Loki laid down on the couch, wincing as he did so. Staring at the ceiling he lost himself in thought. Finally his thoughts started to waver as sleep overwhelmed him. But with sleep came the sensation of falling. He knew it was his memory of falling from the bridge but instead of the stars around him, it was the black emptiness with the whispers of the Chitauri and their leader, the Other along with Thanos, discussing their plans for him.

Natasha walked into her mission and knew what she had to do; acquire target, seduce target, extract information, and terminate target. She walked into the club and smiled her sultry smile and looked around. She found her target among a group of women, all bottle blondes. So she made sure she'd stand out. The music played with a good beat and she danced to it, watching her target nonchalantly. She saw him leer at her and she knew she had him. He parted the crowd and came to her. This task would be some of the simplest she's done. Or… So she thought.


	2. 2: History Shared

After a few hours Natasha limped up to her apartment. She hadn't expected so many henchmen. She took down all of them with ease, but they got a few licks at her as well. She opened the door to her residence and let it shut behind her, not remembering something crucial.

Loki awoke to the sound of the slamming door, jolted up, and fell to the floor with a thud and a low groan. Natasha pulled her gun from the table near the door quickly and aimed it around the apartment. He pushed himself off the floor looking around the dark apartment in a slight panic, only to hear the sounds of New York City taxi's driving by and relax. He was safe, he wasn't there anymore. She walked over to the side table and turned on a light, aiming the gun at the ground where she heard the noises come from. She sighed exasperatedly seeing Loki standing there looking at her with his hands raised seeing the gun. "Agent Romanoff," He said quietly to the woman.

She put the safety on the gun and put it on the side table. "Sorry," she said as she walked over to where he had sat earlier. "I'm used to being here alone." She sat in the chair and started tending to her wounds which consisted of a long gash on the side of her thigh, another across her stomach, and a large purple and black bruise blooming on her right cheek. He looked at the woman and blinked realizing that she was indeed wounded. "Y-you're hurt," he managed to get out as he started to walk over to her. She shrugged her shoulders and tended to her wounds. "In my line of work, we get hurt, we move through it. That was how I was trained, that's how I live," she stated placidly. Applying everything she needed to, to make sure her wounds healed well she realized that this new dress would have to go. On the brighter side of the night though, she wasn't shot.

"If you don't mind," He spoke up watching her tend to her own lacerations as she had done with his. "I can help you," he offered, gazing at her with a soft expression. There was a part of him that wanted to help her, to have her accept his aid. And there was another part that was, for some odd reason that he couldn't understand himself, worried about this assassin who could kill him instantaneously and was also angry that someone had done this to a lady, to her.

She cocked and eyebrow and blinked for a moment fathoming his offer. "You should be resting. You have it far worse than me. I'll be fine Loki," She said simply. "But thank you," she finished with a slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. She finished bandaging up the weeping wounds and she now needed to figure out a way to apply cover up and foundation without touching her bruise.

He nodded in a reply to let her know he understood her wishes. "If you wish, I could tell you my story now," He said, seeming to sound like a lonely child looking for someone to be with. She nodded and stood from her chair. Before she made her way to the couch he stood in front of, she looked at the bare chested man and asked, "Do I bring the vodka for both our pain?" He looked at her with a look of confusion thinking she would not drink anything more than wine for a social occasion. "Yes… I use vodka as a pain killer. I was Russian."

He nodded to her and took his place on the couch. He figured he would need all the help he could get as he told his tale to the assassin. "I know everything about you," he said quietly as she walked over with not just the open bottle from their earlier, but a completely unopened one. She seemed to have read his mind. She handed him the unopened bottle and sat on the couch, tucking her feet under her so she appeared to be kneeling. He saw her wince as he said his statement and he continued by saying quietly, "It is only fair that I tell you everything in return."

She looked over at him with a cold expression on her face. "There are things you probably don't know about me," She admitted. She knew he knew a bit about her because of what Clint had said while under his spell. "But I may end up telling you anyway since you're sharing this with me."

He sat there silent for a moment thinking of where to start in his tale. He took a deep breath and started explaining everything that led up to the events at the Bifrost. He took a healthy draught of the alcohol, letting his story sink in. She looked at him and listened, watching his facial expressions change with the events. Every so often she took a drink of the liquid in her own bottle, staying silent so he could continue.

He took a deep breath and as the memories flooded forward… he began to choke up. "I…I let go, and fell." The deep breath he had taken flooded out in a heavy sigh. "All that time falling I began to realize I made a mistake," he admitted. "And all I wanted, was to return home… to see my family again, though I knew there was no way that could happen." He paused for a moment and Natasha could see a tear fall from the corner of his eye. "I then found myself on the Chitauri's home planet… they took me, filled my days and nights with torment…"

Natasha could hear and feel the anguish in his tone. She knew what it was like to be tortured for nothing and she watched as he started to shake ever so slightly, and his emerald eyes dripped hot tears.

"Just as I was about to break… to give in… they brought me to him," he said. The events bolted through his mind vividly as he relived them telling her. "Thanos… their ruler. He… He used the scepter… and the next thing I knew, I had no control over what I said or did… No matter how hard I tried to break free."

Natasha frowned hearing him talk about that, and moved closer to the former god. She knew what it was like, to be tortured and honed, to have someone pull her out, play with her personality, and put someone else in her head. She knew how it felt to want control but not have it. She rested a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. He may know about her, and hopefully this part he knew, that if she comforted someone this way, it meant it was genuine.

Loki looked at his hands, trying to calm the emotions welling inside of him. "The large green one was the one who knocked me back into control," he said in a shaky tone as his hands balled up into fists. "I told my father… I told him all of this. And you know what I got?" He asked, the volume of his voice not increasing, but the intensity grew. "My lips sewn shut for months!" he answered his own question.

Her frown held steady and she let him continue, knowing that if she interrupted, he may not get everything he needed out. Even after everything he did to her partner- after the Chitauri did to her partner… and everything they used him as a channel for, to do to her, she felt akin to him… seeing as she lived through the same things. "My punishment was to be put to death," Loki stated, jarring her out of her thoughts. "But thankfully, Thor pleaded for him to let me live." Shaking his head he watched the images go by and heard the words ring out. "And so, he banished me here."

Natasha had woven her arm around his and placed her small hand on his long and slender one. The story made her remember when she was the target of Clint and he instead brought her to where she is now. He managed to control his tears before looking over at the red head beside him. The look he gave her, the haunted look in his eyes felt familiar to Natasha. He gently squeezed her dainty hand in his larger one as he said, "Thank you… for giving me the chance to tell you what really happened."

She nodded because she couldn't think of words to say. She just looked into his emerald eyes, her own glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you for telling me," She said, her voice thick with the unshed tears. "For trusting me enough to tell me." He nodded numbly in reply looking into her eyes. He knew he had brought up painful memories for her. His breath a bit shaky from all of the emotions running rampant he snaked his arms around the red head. "You and I… Are not all that different, Natasha," he said quietly looking over her features.

She leaned into him and closed her eyes frowning. "We aren't. Not anymore," she cast her eyes down ward and sighed. "You may have learned a bit about me from what was told to you under that spell… But that's just some." She released her grip on him and moved back to where she started out on the couch.

He watched her shy away from him and didn't take it personally. But there was something different about this time, she wasn't shying away from him, but from herself. "You may tell me when you are ready, Natasha," He whispered to her in a gentle and coaxing tone. It was funny to him, finding someone that trusted him… someone he dare called… a friend?

The master assassin and spy looked at the hardwood floor beneath her and took a deep breath. She needed to start from the beginning so he could know how she progressed. "I was born in Stalingrad in the USSR," she began, not making eyecontact with him. "My family and I were caught in a raid, and our building was set on fire. My parents died and I would have as well. Only a soldier found and saved me in time." She took a drink of the vodka and continued her story. "I lived my life for a while and was scouted by the intelligence agency. They trained me in their Black Widow Program. They brainwashed me, giving me this identity. Natasha Romanoff."

Loki listened to her tell her history. It was easier for her to list things off, not make them into a story as he had. "As a cover for my line of work I trained as a ballerina, studying for years with the Russian ballet. It helped explain why I was gone so much for the Black Widow lifestyle. I was trained to do anything to get a mark. I was trained to use my greatest asset, my own body, to get the mark and information. I let them do what they wanted, then killed them after everything was done."

It was Loki's turn to listen and provide solace. He moved closer and wrapped and arm about the woman's shoulders, letting her know that he was there for her. The woman beside him never was able to enjoy her childhood, something everyone should have. She was pulled into that program while he had his childhood, even though it wasn't much.

She blinked back tears as her life flashed before her eyes; the pain resurfacing like it did every night when she closed her eyes. "I was the top in my program, so they arranged me to marry someone, someone they wanted to bring into another program. He was a pilot. After a couple years, they told me he died in a training accident. So, I trained harder at the academy and became the best Black Widow they had ever produced." She still kept her eyes glued to the floor and Loki knew it wasn't because he had done something wrong. It was because she was trained to never speak of what had happened and making eye contact while discussing this, she'd have to admit someone else was there.

"They set me loose on the world, getting secrets, intelligence, items, and more. Finally, I ended up down as far as you can go down that road. It was my turn to be the target. Hawkeye met me in Paris, and he was supposed to kill me. But he made a different call. He helped me defect out of Russia and turned me over to SHIELD, where I've been trying to wipe the red out of my ledger. But as yo- as the Chitauri… said, My ledger is bleeding." She took a deep shaky breath remembering the conversation she had with controlled god. "There was, at one point in our relationship… a time where Clint and I might have been together… forever. But even I thought he died that day." Her breath hitched in her throat as the las thought crossed her mind and came spilling out of her lips. "Funny thing I guess… People dying or seeming to die that I care about." She tried to chuckle but it came out like a tiny sob. Warm saline streams flowed from Natasha's eyes as she looked at the floor. Loki watched the tears fall from her eyes. He never thought she would cry because she seemed so strong. He reached out a hand towards the crying woman and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You ledger… Our ledgers can… and will be wiped clean," he sweetly promised the SHIELD agent beside him.

She looked over at him and frowned. "I don't know if I'll be able to," she admitted quietly. "Sharing that… Telling my life… I've been compromised. I was compromised when Clint told all of our things, all of my things he knew. No one had known my entire life. No one knew I was a ballerina… No one had anything to use against me. But now…" her voice was soft and quiet as the sentence dropped off.

Loki watched the woman quiet down and knew it was hard for her to admit what she did. "Natasha," He started hesitantly, not sure if she would believe him about this or not. "Never will I use any of this against you. Nothing leaves this room… and I will take everything you just said to the grave," he said in a soft tone, brushing a stray lock of red hair behind her ear from in front of her face. "We can wipe out the red together…" He offered, remembering the conversation they had while he was controlled and the fact she said it here today.

She looked over at Loki to see if his offer was genuine or a ruse. His body language indicated truth, but he was the god of trickery. But she knew somewhere that he was telling the truth. Tears ran down her face as she looked at him. She hadn't cried since she was a little girl in the program. She never wanted anyone to see her like she was now, open, exposed…. Weak. But there was something about him now that just begged her to agree to his terms.

He looked at her waiting for her reply. She finally spoke saying, "I-I don't know. It sounds wonderful but I'm with SHIELD… you're technically still a war criminal." She explained sadly. He hadn't heard someone sound upset while talking about him and it made him feel… unusual. He wasn't sure if it was a good unusual or a bad unusual. "And the higher ups will be like your father," she continued quietly. She leaned against Loki's torso lightly so she wouldn't hurt him. "I don't want you to go through that pain again," she whispered before she could stop herself.

Loki gave a half smile and held her close, running his long, slender fingers through her red locks as he spoke, "I will go through it. It does not matter." He whispered into her ear to finish his thoughts, "If I am no threat, then they have no means to harm me."

She looked up at him and studied his features. "I don't want to be a reason you get hurt. I've hurt enough people," she said quietly, her voice full of sadness and worry for him.

"But it would be my choice," he reminded her tenderly. "Besides… they can't do anything to me that I haven't already been through, Tasha," He remarks, throwing in a nickname he figured she went by.

Upon hearing the nickname she attains a light pink blush on the cheek not bearing the black and blue from her fresh bruise. No one but Clint used her nicknames she was usually "Natasha", "Agent Romanoff", "Black Widow", or in Tony Stark's presence "Agent Widow" or "Widow". She looked at Loki and smiled a half smile. "I just… I will be here for you. To tend to you again. The Chitauri called me 'the balm to your suffering." She said repeating the words he had said to her when she first snuck up behind him in the cage. "And that is what I'll be."


	3. Monster?

Loki smiled hearing her use the title he had given her while he controlled, and the fact that she would accept him in. He gently took her hand, brushing his lips against her knuckles and said softly, "And I shall be yours."

She smiled at his gesture and held his hand in hers. She leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Loki. Thank you, for letting me have someone to trust," She said quietly. She didn't trust many people. She knew she couldn't.

Her words were sincere in every respect of the word. And Loki couldn't stop the blush creeping to his cheeks. "I…It's no trouble," he said before clearing his throat and continuing. "Thanks for giving me a chance."

She nodded and gave half a smile, only because her swollen, discolored cheek made it impossible to do so. "You're fine," she said quietly. "I'm glad you let me help." She realized the bruise was prominent and looked away from Loki, her hair covering her bruise. She got up and was going to go and get ice for her cheek before Loki's hand caught hers. He gently pulled her down beside him. He saw her confused look at being pulled back down and he rested his hand on her bruised cheek. The skin was blue in color and colder to the touch than normal. He knew this would work better than ice since his hand wouldn't melt nor would it only touch certain places like a bag of ice would.

She winced, but it was not from fear of him or of his change, but of the contact he made with her bruise. She found herself putting her small hand over his larger and now much colder one. She looked into his green eyes with her own and tried to express her gratitude since words hurt her at the moment.

Even though Odin had banished him here with no title, powers, and immortality, the All Father could not take away his Jotun form. He never used it for anything because he despised it so much. But, seeing Natasha react to his change, he thought there may be a use for it after all. "I am not sure if Thor told you, that I am not of Asgard," he said quietly, almost sadly.

"He said you were adopted. That was all," she said quietly, trying not to cause herself pain. "And I like this you." She liked this side of him, because it meant he trusted her. No one else that she knew had seen him this way or even knew he was different. She looked at him and saw him shake his head. "You have barely seen what I look like," he muttered to her in an almost foreboding tone. Closing his eyes he focused and let his body become the blue of his hand. Natasha watched him transform seeing some of his skin rise in ridges becoming a darker blue for some designs over his skin. She peered into his eyes as he opened them and she saw they were no longer Emerald green like hers, but the crimson color of blood. "This, is what I truly look like," He stated looking at the assassin.

She looked him over taking in every detail. Instead of shying away from him as he thought she might, she did something that shocked them both. She crawled into his lap and sat there. Gingerly leaning against his bandaged torso she looked up at him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Like I said. I like this you," She said with a smile. She was pleasantly cold leaning against him and she just felt… safe.

He tensed as she crawled into his lap, not quite sure what to do. But hearing her say those words, he relaxed a bit and wrapped his cool arms around her holding her close to him. "You… do not think I am a monster?" he asked quietly, resting his face into her fiery red locks.

"I've known monsters all my life," She replied quietly, her voice soft and resting over Loki like silk. "They all looked and talked like me. You're not a monster. We've all made some bad choices but… It's what we choose after we make them- To either fix the wrong or leave it alone- that makes someone a monster. You're fixing you mistakes." She gazed into his crimson eyes and smiled. "I don't care if the eyes I look in are green like mine or crimson now. You are closer to me than anyone has been."

He looked at the woman in his lap, perplexed by such a statement. He laid back on the couch, pulling her down with him, her on his chest. "You… Natasha Romanoff… are an amazing woman," he whispered into her ear as he placed his hand on her cheek again, smiling softly at the woman on top of him.

She rested with him and smiled at his touch. "And you… Loki… are an amazing person," She stated in a hushed tone. Something stirred inside of her, and she felt a warmth she hadn't felt for a while. He looked down into her emerald eyes with his crimson ones. He couldn't remember when he had let someone this close to him, let alone when he was in this form. He slowly started to realize that he had a burning need to make this woman who lay on top of him his. He cared for her. She was the only one who had given him a chance when he needed one.

Natasha gazed into his crimson eyes and smiled. There were very few people she would get close to like this outside of a mark. She couldn't bring herself to be like this with Clint even. She actually felt butterflies in her stomach and she couldn't help but want to hold Loki close, never letting him go. To let him know that there was someone who understood him.

Loki couldn't resist himself. He let his feelings guide his actions and he slowly lifted his head, brushing his cold lips against her cheek. As he did he prayed he wouldn't care her off, hoping deep inside that she wouldn't run from him. Natasha felt a heat creep to the surface of her cheeks. She moved her head and let her impulses go. Leaning down she captured his lips with her own, placing upon the cold flesh a soft kiss. She only hoped she hadn't stepped across a line if there was one.

Loki let his eyes slip closed as he slowly found his hand tangling in her red hair. He was surprised she had kissed him back at first, but that quickly faded as the warmth of her lips drew all worry from him. She let her hands rest gently on the sides of his face, smiling against his lips. She couldn't help but feel a strong connection to him. He is the only one who she truly trusted. The only one she shared everything with. In fact, she may have found someone to share the most special thing she had left to her with.

As they continued their kiss, Loki's skin returned to normal. He had never felt this much passion in one kiss. After a long moment that he wished would last forever, he pulled back, needing to breathe. "Wow," Was all he could manage. She smiled down at him and watched as his face returned to the one she was accustomed to. She spoke in Russian, knowing she would be foolhearty to believe he shared her emotions so soon. "I don't understand how someone who was my enemy, now holds my heart. You are amazing Loki." She hoped he wouldn't understand since her words were in her native language. She wanted him to know, but they had just met hours ago. But there was something stirring there inside her, from their kiss. She hoped that he felt the same thing or something similar.

He grinned, giving her another soft kiss. "As are you, my little spider," he whispered into her ear. He was amazed at how he suddenly felt like he belonged, that he had a place in the nine realms. And that the place was with this woman. This stunning woman who laid on top of him looking into his emerald green eyes with shock spreading through them. "I promise that I will handle it with the utmost care, love," he stated, assuring her that he would care for her heart that she had given him.

She blinked at the fact her knew Russian and smiled slightly. "You know Russian?" She asked, nestling close to him and closing her eyes, feeling safe and content in his embrace.

"I am-" he started to say before stopping himself. He wasn't really allowed to say that any more was he? "I was a god. I understand most languages," he said softly as he played with her red hair, a small smile on his lips.

"Of course you would," Natasha replied with a slight chuckle. "You will always be my god of mischief," she said quietly, gently tracing patterns on his chest with feather light touches.

He chuckled and smiled. "Yes. I will be," he replied quietly. "Agent Romanoff you should get some rest."

"But…" she said looking into his eyes. She didn't want to leave him. She was afraid he was deceiving her, that in the morning he'd be gone when she woke up.

"I shall be here when you wake. I cannot leave anyway. I am mortal now remember?" He said as if he read her mind. He sat up so she would be able to get out of his lap better. She smiled a bit and got out of his lap. "You are a gentleman, not even letting a woman sleep with you," She said wondering what he would give her.

"I don't think it would do either of us well since we are both injured at the present moment," he said looking up at her. He wanted to have this woman because she was so fascinating. There was something about her that called to him. He would do anything for her, anything she asked… anything to keep her in his life. She walked to her room and returned moments later with blankets and pillows. "Here, since you won't be staying with me," she said handing him the articles. He took them with appreciation. No one had cared about his comfort before, no one had thought about him really since he developed the magic he was gifted with.

"Thank you Tasha," he replied smiling with sincerity. She nodded and turned on her heels walking to her room. "Good night Loki. Sleep well," She said quietly.

"Good night Natasha, pleasant dreams," He replied softly.

"I doubt they will be," She murmured before walking into her room closing the door behind her. Loki situated himself on the couch and laid down. The blankets and pillow smelled of her. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, for once… not seeing that falling and hearing the whispers. He instead found himself in a better place.


	4. Like Hell things would be fine

**Author's note: Hi All! I wanted to again thank Saria-The-Phoenix for letting me use this RP and for being FANTASTIC! :D Also! I might be changing the rating of this if things in my mind are right... But I'm barely in my right mind! ha! Joke... ANYWAY! :D Thank you all for reading. I hope I make it to your favorite authors and/or this story to your favorite stories! Keep the reviews coming! Me and Saria watch them! **

**P.S! These author's notes are important. Soon there will be one that you REALLY SHOULD READ! But that's in a little while. Few more chapters down the road. Well... enjoy the reading and YES! I know now that it(The title) was not a technical line in the movie but it was implied.**

After a few days where they could both just heal up without worry, Natasha dreaded the plan he had set forth the night before. "Tomorrow, I am coming in with you to SHIELD," He said looking into her eyes as she let the movie she put in play as background noise. "You'll be seen as a criminal of war and they'll take everything out on you," She stated, knowing protocol for things like this.

"I'm choosing this Natasha. I do not want them to think that you are under my control. You have to be the one bringing me in," he said, running his icy, lithe fingers over her cheek that had been badly bruised. "If you aren't and you check on me… they will worry. And I just do not think things will be well after that."

She looked into his eyes and sighed finding the determination she knew was in her own eyes. Nodding she replied quietly, "Then we will."

"And remember, to them we are nothing more than enemies- The fierce Black Widow and Loki. The captor who got the plan and the captive that insulted her, using her own secrets against her," He said frowning slightly. He didn't want anything to happen to this woman. She had been through much. She had not gone into detail about what she went through really, but he knew that would come with time. She had told him a basic run of her life, which had to be the hardest thing for her to do.

She nodded and sighed. It was too soon for there to really be anything there and she had so many problems with herself. The fact that her ex-husband died while she was around, she just couldn't think if anything were to happen to him. He knew what it was like for someone to be reprogrammed, to have someone else put inside their head. "I can do that easily," She said with her trademark stoicism.

He chuckled and held her close. "I know you can." That was the plan. She was to bring him in as a prisoner and SHIELD would interrogate him.

She looked in the mirror and released a heavy sigh. Seeing her bruise non-existent she had Loki's gifts to thank for that. The form he despised had helped her greatly. Dressed in black jeans, comfortable boots, a red tank top and her black leather jacket, she was ready for the day. What she wasn't ready for, was bringing Loki into work with her. Hanging her head, she couldn't help but imagine what they would do to him, especially Clint who still held a grudge.

Loki wrapped his arms around her from behind, being one of the only people who could sneak up on her. "You ready, love?" he asked, kissing the top of her head. "You need not worry… I will be fine." He promised. She looked at him using the mirror and locked gazes with him. "I just hope you're right," She admitted, worry in her eyes.

Like Hell he would be fine, as soon as he set foot in SHIELD he was more or less attacked and restrained, that didn't go as planned at all. He thought they would give him a chance to explain first since he was being brought in by Natasha. But, as things would have it, the entire organization pulled their weapons on him and a few tackled him to the ground. Natasha's face was carved in stone, nothing fazed her as she walked in with Loki and her man was detained and treated like a terrorist. She had put restraints on him down the block before walking in. He told her everything would be fine. And yet… she was worried.

Director Nick Fury however was quite pleased. He had the war criminal Loki in his clutches again and he wasn't about to let him slither through his fingers like the serpents the god found himself favoring. He watched Loki struggle against the agents and raised an eyebrow seeing Clint react. He had his bow drawn and an arrow nocked aimed right through Loki's eye. "Ah, Director… it is good to see you again," Loki said with a slight smirk, until he realized there was an arrow pointed at him. "And Agent Barton…"

"Last time I saw you, you were on a one way trip to Asgard… where I hoped they would put an end to your worthless life," Clint said dryly looking at the captive. Fury looked at Loki and watched the display between him and Clint. "Nice to have you back here again, Loki of Asgard," Fury said in a superior tone. He looked then to Natasha who was standing with her arms crossed across her chest and her stoic face in place.

She may look emotionless to the world about this predicament but on the inside she was panicking and screaming at the top of her lungs. "Found him walking around Times Square," She said simply seeing Fury look he direction. "Figured you'd want to see him first."

"Well, would you do whatever it is you're going to do? I grow tired of standing here," Loki stated simply, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Sir… I can take him to an 'interrogation room," Clint offered calmly. Fury nodded at the archer's offer. "Be my guest Barton but… make sure he can be comfortable. Wouldn't want our 'Supreme Leader' less than happy," he stated before looking to Natasha. "What were you doing at Times Square? You don't live near there."

"I was on my early morning run. I would have brought him here in my sports bra and running shorts but the last time I did that you said I about killed 50 of your men," She replied flatly, shifting her weight from her right foot to her left. She watched Clint drag Loki away and saw the banished god frown.

Fury sighed remembering the day she brought up. She had brought in someone they were looking for after fighting him for a while. He had walked through the brain dead agents who saw her figure that closely. She normally wore a lot more clothing but the form was still noticeable. Now… it was a distraction to the men. "I remember. Now, good work Agent Romanoff. Get to work," He ordered. She nodded and walked off keeping her normal expression about her as she wandered the halls of the headquarters.

Loki was thrown into a room out of the way and winced in pain as he hit the wall. "If this counts as comfort, I must have the wrong meaning," He stated looking around the room. True, sarcasm was one of his best gifts and it was an easy escape for him in situations. But that wouldn't help him today. All it would do is make them even more angry.

He didn't know how long he was worked over by Clint and a few other agents, but it must have been a few hours. He gave a quiet groan, slumping into the corner. Soon enough Fury came in causing him to look up at his new visitor. "So, you're too lazy to work me over yourself?" He asked with a slight bit of fire in his eyes. "Have to get Agent Barton to do your dirty work?"

Fury looked down at Loki and smirked. "He needed a little payback," He quipped back. "I was more than willing to let him have it. Why did you come back?" He demanded. Loki looked up at the man in the black trench coat and eye patch. "I am in exile," he growled, spiiting the blood from his mouth onto the floor. "I am but mortal here." He winced as he stood up to his full height. "And letting one of your Agents freely beat me around makes you just as bad as me."

"And I'm the king of Atlantis," Fury replied sarcastically. "You're a god Loki. Gods aren't mortal. Your brother can attest to that. And I am nothing like you." He looked at the captive Loki and smirks. "You said once… 'An ant has no quarrel with a boot.' I guess now, we're the boot."

Loki braced himself against the wall needing something to keep him upright and steady so he wouldn't fall. "Don't you think… that if I was still a god… I would use my powers to get out of this place? That I would be healing by now?" He managed out, struggling to formulate the sentence.

"Maybe you used one of your deceptions on yourself. I don't know. You're a war criminal who declared war on Manhattan and on the Earth with that you brought," he said stepping forward. "Now I'll give you one last chance. Give me something useful and I'll let you run on home to Asgard."

"Don't you think I would tell you?! I did nothing; I didn't want any of this!" Loki yelled in reply, his eyes flashing in anger at not being believed. There was a slight sadness there as well because he was trying to make amends, but no one would give him the chance. His own family believed him to be lying when he told his tale. The only one who believed him… was Natasha. The assassin he threatened, that he wanted. "I am no longer welcome in Asgard!"

"And you're not welcome here!" Fury retorts snidely. "I'll make sure you're seen after. Wouldn't want our guest of honor to check out soon." With those words ringing out in the room, fury walked out of the small room and left to find his closer. She could get anything out of any one.

Loki slid down the wall he used as support to sit on the ground, tired from his beatings and his confrontation. Wincing as he looked to the door, he wondered who the next person to come in would be. He figured it to be anyone else wishing to make their feelings of hatred towards him known. But there was a small hope, that it would be his little spider, gliding in with her ethereal grace and just sit and talk with him. He would give her anything she asked of him because she saw him as the human he is, not the monster he and the other SHIELD agents made him out to be.


	5. Any Means Necessary

**A/N: Hi There! Hope you all are liking this! please let me know if you do. I only know it if you write to me in a message or in a review! (HINT HINT!) I love hearing from you all! :D**

Natasha sighed and trained her martial arts and other skills ending up breaking one of the dummies and knowing better than to go against other agents. She was mad. Mad at herself, at her organization, and mad at her partner. A mad black widow normally ends up biting someone, and she might come to it soon. Fury walked and found her training.

"Agent Romanoff," He said as he looked around at the room. "Something you got to get out?"

"No sir, Just… an intense training session. Making sure I'm still good to go the rounds with the bigger opponents," She lied easily. At the Red Room Academy she had been taught to lie her way out of anything.

"I need you to get information out of our detainee," Fury said simply. "Patch him up and get him to spill what he knows."

"Any means necessary?"

"Any means necessary," Fury affirmed with a nod. Natasha smirked at the go ahead and walked to get a shower and dressed properly before going and visiting Loki. Redressed in her red tank top, black jeans and jacket, she made her way to the interrogation room after grabbing a first aid kit. She sighed before walking into the room. As she scanned it, she would have cried if she could.

Loki looked up, smiling weakly at her. "Hey there, my little spider," he said, looking her over and seeing the tears start to glisten in her eyes. "Don't let your mask slip, love," He whispered to her.

She sighed and composed herself. "I can't help it." She walked to him and started tending to him. "I'm sorry," She whispered. Loki chuckled quietly. "This is nothing, love," he admitted quietly looking at her as she crossed the room to him. It was the truth, yes it hurt but he had been through worse. "I am guessing I will be sticking around Shield for a bit," he surmised, watching as she knelt down and got her things ready.

Natasha tended to his wounds and nodded. "Yes. They think you know things. They think you know what's coming," She stated quietly, making sure she could mend his wounds properly.

Loki looked at her for a moment "I know not all of the Chitauri are dead...though that is no worry...they are realms away," he answered softly, wincing a bit as she began her ministrations.

She nodded and continued to be his nurse. "Alright. Could they make their way here?" She asked, doing her job while making conversation as she healed him.

He watched her movements, methodical and purposeful. "Perhaps...though I am not sure how long it will take without the Tesseract's powers..." he muttered quietly, looking into her eyes, a soft frown tugging at his lips "Thanos was not too happy that you won."

She looked at him, remembering the story he told and nodded. "I would imagine they aren't happy," She replied, gingerly applying bandages so he wouldn't hurt more than he was.

He chuckled at her words and winced slightly from the action. "If they do get here though...they will want to challenge your little band of misfits," He stated looking into her eyes.

"Misfits that took you down," she reminded him simply as she went about her task.

"Me? No...it was you who took me down." He chuckled softly before continuing, "The large green one is a worthy opponent."

She nodded in agreement. "That he is." She finished her nursing duties knowing that they thought she could get more out of him than anyone else. Gently Loki placed his hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. "At least they don't think I have you under my control," he stated.

"They know better than to think that," she replied closing her eyes at his touch. "It helps that I actually had a truth to tell them that covered us well."

"Indeed it did." He smiled softly, placing a kiss to her forehead reminding himself to ask her for the story about that later. "You should go before they start to wonder."

She sighed and looked at him. "They know I won't come out until I get what I need." He felt a soft smile before gently pulling her closer. Slowly he placed a soft kiss to her lips. She smiled and returned his kiss resting her hands in his raven hair.

Clint decided to choose that moment to walk in, freezing at the sight "Tasha!?"

Natasha froze and tensed to the point of being rigid and immobile. She couldn't think of a word to say because she was normally left alone with her interrogations. She was about to whirl around and explain it away but she knew that would be out of character. Fury said 'use anything necessary', and she did.

Clint used his com to get Fury in here before he looked back at Loki and Natasha. "So you took control of her mind?" He asked the broken man, glaring at him all the while.

Natasha raised an eyebrow and bit back a comment. "You know my style of interrogation Barton. I use my greatest asset and you just ruined everything." She about snarled. Fury walked in and looked at Clint. "Why are you ruining her interrogation!?" He almost yelled at Clint.

Clint glared at Loki even more before answering Natasha, "You both seemed to be enjoying it Tasha...and I know for a fact that you have never had a full blown makeout session with the enemy!"

She smirked and looked at him. "I'm good at what I do. I do what I have to. Whether it involves cognitive recalibration or even using myself. You know that while we've been undercover. I threw you out of the room a few times remember?" Her arms were crossed over her chest and she stood by what she had in her memory... in her training. Fury stood and watched the two partners fight.

"You have been acting differently ever since you brought him in," he retorted coldly, nodding to Loki. Clint's eyes narrowed as he looked at the redhead. "You forget Natasha; I am one of the few that can catch your lies."

"Different?" She asked a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. "You haven't seen me all day. This is the first time you've seen me in fact. You've been working him over and getting nothing. I get things with what I do no matter what it is," she stated simply. Looking at Fury she watched him shift his gaze to her. "Well?" He asked.

"Not all the Chitauri are dead," She began flatly. "However, they're far enough away we won't have to worry about them for a while. Their leader, Thanos, is pissed at us for winning so we'll have to keep a watch out."

Clint fisted his hands before turning and leaving the room while Loki looked between the two SHIELD agents. "Now that I told you...can I go now?" He interjected in the quiet space between them.

Fury noticed Clint leave the room but paid it no mind. He figured there was something he had for the agent in front of him. "Thank you Agent Romanoff, you're dismissed." She nodded curtly and walked out of the room. Fury looked at Loki. "Is there anything else you haven't told us. If there is and we find out, you'll be back in here and it'll be a hell of a lot worse."

"Other than I am the first person he will come after? No...I don't believe I have anything else to say," he reported quickly.

Fury sighed. He hated to say it but he had helped and that meant he was technically states evidence meaning he was on their side and he couldn't prosecute him for a single thing. "We'll get you set up with a place here in the city. You'll stay here until we get it set up. No one can touch you."

Loki nodded softly "Thank you...Director," he muttered looking at the black clad man with the eye patch. Natasha watched the exchange keeping her face stoic, expressionless.

"Good," He walked out and got started on what he said. Natasha looked at Loki and smiled. "Well, looks like you're working on your red already," She stated quietly.

"I guess I am," He replied, nodding to her.

"Well, I've got to go and do some paperwork. I'll be back to retreat you later," she stated as she packed up the kit she brought with her.

"You don't need to," he said putting his hand over hers on the kit. She smiled at him and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "I know I don't have to. But I want to," She said before walking out the door. Loki watched her leave and marveled that someone actually wanted to take care of him. That someone actually cared if he was well. He laid down and looked up at the ceiling, smiling slightly at his little spider's words and actions. He would do whatever it takes to make sure she never ran from him.


	6. Confrontations

Natasha read over her paperwork as she filled out her report about the mission she finished the day she met Loki on this visit to Midgard for him. She had a slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she remembered what they shared but she knew she couldn't smile. Not now. She had to remain... cold for lack of a better word.

Clint had been fuming, working off most of his rage in the gym. Natasha knew how he felt about Loki, knew the nightmares he always awoke from. And yet...she didn't care. He knew something was going on with her and Loki, he just didn't know what. With a huff he went to speak with her. "Tasha..." he said coolly, standing in her doorway.

Natasha looked up from her paperwork and blinked. "I thought you were supposed to be training," she said with an eyebrow raised. She knew his habits and his schedule like clockwork. When he got mad, he trained, and it was his training time now.

"Why?" he asked calmly, crossing his arms as he leaned on the doorway.

"Why what?" She asked looking at him, slightly confused.

"You know, Nat..." he muttered, eyes hard, unwavering from her face. "I know there is something going on between you and Loki."

She raised an eyebrow and stood up. "I was doing my job. Something you interrupted. You've watched me and even you know how I work," she said looking at him.

"You know! You know I can tell when you are lying!" Honestly having thought that Natasha and him had a friendship that could one day become more "He is the enemy, Natasha!"

She looked at him and remembered everything between them. At one point in their partnership... he had asked for more from her and she had accepted, until she thought he was dead. With that announcement, she buried her feelings and now they were just partners, just good friends. "Tell me, do you honestly know what I've been through? What do you know about me?" She asked looking into his grey eyes.

"I know whatever you told me, and that I would keep those secrets for the rest of my life, Nat!" He stated as he blinked away the tears that had come to his eyes

She looked at him and saw the pain there in his eyes. She thought for all the time, he had done what she did... moved on. "Then that means you really don't know **me**. You have many of the same things I have but, there's just something different about him now," She said as she walked around her desk, sitting on the wood looking at him. "Did you even listen to him? Did you let him talk?"

"Why should I have?! He took over my mind...you of all people should know what it's like."

She looked at him with an expressionless face. "You know I do. I told you that. But did you ever think he was also a pawn? Think back Clint. Your eyes were an ice blue when I hit you in the head. Only after that did they return to being grey. While he threatened me by using you to kill me in every way you know I hate... slowly and intimately. His eyes were the same blue! Now they're the color of mine. Even Thor said he was different when I talked with him about his brother. Green eyes. Always green!" She said, logic winning out. She couldn't show emotion to him about Loki. She didn't know what would happen if she did.

Clint looked at the ground and clenched his jaw. "He is the god of lies, Tasha...LIES," he exclaimed after a moment. It was then that he looked up at her, glaring and asking, "How do you know it wasn't all just a trick? Why are you letting him off easy?"

"I'm not letting him off easy Clint and if you think I am then you don't know me at all!" She said coolly, dangerously.

"The Natasha I know would have went in and picked up where I left off!" Clint stated straightening up and looking into her eyes icily.

"That's the Natasha you knew before I lost you for the second time Clint!" She cried out, looking into his eyes, hers shining with the un-shed tears from the pain of remembering. "I changed tactics. I know how to work him over. I did it in the helicarrier while you were still being controlled!" She explained, hopping off the desk and standing on the floor watching him. "He needs to be coaxed out not beaten down. He's prideful and vain like Stark."

Clint glared at her before turning on his heel, ready to walk out. He took a deep breath before leaving. Natasha watched her partner... probably her soon to be Ex-partner... leave her standing there. She wouldn't break down. She wouldn't cry. Maybe later she would, but she couldn't here. No one could see Agent Romanoff cry. She had only cried as Natasha in front of Loki. He **changed** her. She didn't know yet if it was for the better or worse.

Loki was lounging in the room S.H.I.E.L.D had given him for the time being. He glanced up when he heard the door being pulled open and he frowned slightly "Agent Barton...to what do I owe the visit?"

Clint glared at the god as he walked into the room. "What did you do to her?" He asked in a predatory tone. After all… he was the Hawk.

Loki raised an eyebrow, standing to look at the archer. "You are asking what I have done to Agent Romanoff?" he asked quietly. "I assure you, I have done nothing to her...you have my word"

"I know you've done something to her. You're the Trickster. You mess with people's minds. What did you do to her?" He asked stepping in the room more and closing the door behind him.

Loki's eyes went to the door and he took a step back. "Agent, as I have explained...I am no longer a trickster...no longer a god." His voice was calm as he continued, "Even if I was...I wouldn't harm her."

"And how do I know you're not lying. She said you threatened to use ME to kill her when she talked to you. How do I know you're telling the truth? I bet you've never been sincere a day in your immortal life."

"Listen, birdbrain...if I was still a god, I would have healed by now...I would have escaped by now using my magic," He replied venomously as he glared at the agent before him.

"Or maybe you're trying to get information out of us all so you and kill this institution from the inside out. And since Nat out conned you out of information, you'll use her as a pawn and then kill her last." He stepped up close to the beaten man in front of him and looked into his eyes. "You'll use her own things against her and kill her when she's the most vulnerable. I was forced to tell you every way she hated and now you'll use it against her."

Even though Loki towered over the man, he knew he couldn't win in a fight. Yes, Loki could fight well enough, but he was hurt and hadn't had much time to heal. "Look, I spoke the truth, it is your choice to believe me or not..." Without another word he turned, heading to the bed that was in the room. "You may go now, Barton," he said dismissively.

Clint glared at Loki, grabbed his arm, spinning him back around to face him. He quickly gave him a good solid punch in the jaw and a kick to the solar plexus. "You say you're not a god anymore but you sure as hell still have the ego of one. Your brother lost his the day he found out he couldn't pick up that hammer of his. I was there. Looks like you still need to realize even you aren't good enough to go back."

Loki winced, stumbling back when he was kicked. "I know I can never go back! I know that I have no home!" He yelled. "I am not worthy of living on Asgard...I never was." He waited for another blow, not caring. He knew that he would just get patched up again

Clint glared at the man in front of him and shook his head, "You aren't worth my time or anyone else's. Stay. Away. from my partner." He said coldly to the former god.

Loki glared back, not giving him an answer. He turned towards the bed, once again moving to lay down. He took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling.

Clint made his way out of the room leaving Loki alone. Natasha had gone back to filling out her paperwork and finished the report. She got up and put it on Fury's desk looking at the Director in the chair. "You wanted this," she said putting the file on the desk. He took the file she laid down and looked up at Natasha. "I know you have your own way of getting information but... sometimes you might go a bit across the line." Natasha sighed and looked at Fury. "I know my limits. I got what you wanted, that's what I was trained to do."

"Good work Agent Romanoff," Fury replied placing his hand on the file.

"And you said… anything necessary," she reminded.

"That I did," He complied. "You're dismissed Agent Romanoff."

She nodded and took her leave of the office, hoping that nothing to bad would come from the decisions she made.


	7. Perfect Partner

**Author's note: This is a Fluffy chapter. It's here because it's cute and adorable! Read it and just embrace the humanity that is Loki and Natasha. Yes… they may be slightly out of character BUT IT WORKS! Thank you for reading and enjoy the grace.**

Natasha looked in her closet after a while of debating on what to do with herself. She found the box at the back of the room on a shelf up high and dusted it off. Opening it she dressed in the black leotard and the red tie over skirt. She pulled out the point shoes and laced them up. She couldn't believe she was about to do this, but... for some reason she wanted to. She was in the apartment alone since Loki had his own place but a key to hers if he ever needed her... or just wanted to be with her. She went into the living room and moved furniture out of the way, exposing the hardwood. She turned on the radio and turned it to a classical music station, sitting on the floor and stretching out.

Loki hadn't seen Natasha for a few days, having been healing. He had found out how to work the Midgardian device known as a TV, having found the network of food to catch his interest every time. However after a few days he grew bored and decided to go and see Natasha. Quietly he unlocked the door, about to speak when he saw the woman moving around with pure grace

Natasha had gotten up from the floor and started dancing to one of the songs she knew. The routine flooded back through her muscles and she performed everything flawlessly. Through her dance emotions ran wild. She hadn't broken down since her incident with Clint and it ate away at her. Tears welled in her eyes and as she rose to the tip of her large toe she fell to the floor having hyper extended her ankle making her fall forward. But that wasn't the only reason, she fell and let out a sob. Hiding her face in the cook of her arm on the floor she laid there and cried, not noticing the figure standing in the room with her, watching her move across the floor.

Loki moved to her side, holding her in his arms "I thought you were wonderful" he whispered soothingly. He ran his fingers through her red locks, letting her cry in his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. All the words ran through her mind. She knew Clint was looking out for her, but she knew Loki wasn't lying. She loved them both, but Loki understood her like Clint couldn't. She felt... normal around Loki and just felt like another operative now with her partner. She gained solace and comfort from his embrace and just couldn't end the tears.

He sat there with her, knowing he could never stay away from Natasha. She was his home, the only person he could truly talk to, the only person who didn't judge him for his past. He didn't care how many times he was attacked by Clint, and he didn't care about who found out. He placed a kiss to the top of her head. She looked up at her former enemy turned love of her life, with tear stained cheeks and smiled a bit. "Thank you," She managed to get out before another small stream of tears fell from her emerald eyes.

Loki gently brushed the tears away with his thumb, a sad smile on his face "It's no problem, love," he whispered to the famous Black Widow. What most people didn't know was that she was still that little girl that had been forced into the Black Widow program under the hard exterior she put on in front of others.

She smiled and gently pulled him close, placing her lips on his. She overheard other female operatives gossiping at SHIELD about how they could feel the words not spoken by the boyfriends with their kiss. Normally her kisses said nothing but with him, she couldn't help but put her love, the most special thing she had, into her kiss.

Loki smiled softly as he kissed her. He had honestly never felt so at peace than when he was with her. He pulled back after a long moment, his forehead resting on hers, with a content and peaceful smile on his lips. He loved everything about this woman but the thing that he loved most, was the fact that she let him see inside her. The fact that she let him see the child inside that was broken and alone, needing someone to help them and love them.

She smiled up at him. "I'm embarrassed that you saw me fall, and then cry like a child." She admitted, her cheeks turning pink with her admission.

"Well...you want to know something I'm embarrassed about?" he asked, barely above a whisper. He didn't wait for an answer before he said, "When I was young...as a prince of Asgard I had to learn how to...ballroom dance." The words fell out of his mouth like lead not really wanting to admit that he knew such a thing.

She blinked and smiled at him. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. From what I know... ladies love guys who can dance," She said with a grin before placing a quick kiss in the corner of his mouth. "Why would you be ashamed of that?"

He blushed slightly at her actions and question. "I...I don't know" he muttered, looking into her eyes, unable to help himself from smiling. "If you wish I can teach you," he offered kindly, looking at her face that was red from crying and her embarrassment.

She smiled brightly and then bit her bottom lip. "I don't know... But it might be fun. I would love to be taught by a prince," She stated, looking into her prince's green eyes. She wasn't sure how well she would do but she hoped the lesson would go well.

"Then so it shall be, my love" Loki stood, pulling her up with him. "A princess such as yourself should learn how to ballroom dance."

She smiled and looked at the floor quietly murmuring, "I'm no Princess, but I'm glad you're my prince."

"And I will always be" he said, kissing her softly. She returned his kiss and pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled against her lips. Pulling back he looked down into her face lovingly. "Shall we begin?"

She nodded and listened as he explained various things to her. He taught her the frame, the steps, and made sure she knew she was supposed to follow. Switching the music to something a bit different, he pulled her to him placing his right hand on her left shoulder blade, and his left hand in her right. She rested her left hand on his shoulder and smiled holding his hand. He stood for a second gauging the music as it played and then he pushed her forward and pulled her around the floor in a Viennese waltz. He pulled her into turns their feet moving in the pattern, never once moving over the other. She smiled as he pulled and pushed her around the floor she had opened for her ballet.

As the music ended he spun her around and gracefully laid her over his arm in an elegant dip. She smiled brightly leaning over his arm and felt herself being pulled up and close to his body. Her hands rested on his shoulders and she looked into his eyes. "That… was amazing," She said happily, her eyes glittering with joy.

He chuckled at her and kissed her forehead. "You did very well," he stated holding her close.

"Only because I had the perfect partner to lead me," She replied quietly, resting her head against his clavicle. He rested his head against hers, the scent of her hair drifting into his senses, calming him beyond what anyone else could do.


	8. Righting our wrongs, together

A week later Loki had went back to S.H.I.E.L.D, finding his way towards the office of Director Fury. He knocked on the closed the door, "Er...Director Fury?" he asked looking at the door.

Fury was trying to understand the rift between the best duo of agents he had at SHIELD and couldn't understand it. "Enter." He said not quite recognizing the voice due to the thoughts on his mind. Maybe he needed to give the Hawk and Widow a break from each other.

Loki took a deep breath, stepping into the office. He glanced around before his eyes landed on Fury. "Sir, I would like to do something to help SHIELD," he stated looking at the figure before him.

Fury looked at the former god and raised his eyebrow. Leaning forward he placed his elbows on the desk and folded his hands. "And just how can you help? You're pretty skilled with a weapon but that scepter of yours is gone. Unless you've got something else up your sleeves I don't know what you can do."

"I do know how to fight without a weapon...sir," He replied, stating his qualifications. Loki also had his Jotun form he could use to form ice. "I am also skilled with throwing knives." He was silent for a moment before finishing, "And as your people continue to say... I WAS the god of lies... gifted with a silver tongue."

Fury contemplated the idea and had a simple fix. He would give the duo a break and see how they each felt with different partners. "There's an assignment coming up soon. Agent Romanoff is primed for it and it may take a while. Do you think you can handle being with Agent Romanoff for a while?" He asked looking up at the man in front of him.

Loki smiled slightly and nodded, replying, "I think I can handle Agent Romanoff long enough to go on a mission." He knew he could. It would be a simple matter since he was already on good terms with her.

Fury nodded in reply and handed him a file. "Acquaint yourself with this. We'll see you and Agent Romanoff back here soon. And read your cover ID... you may have to call her wife if she's good about it." He smirked a bit remembering how she would probably have to be worn down to carry that title if she ever would.

Loki nodded in thanks before he headed out. He had a few hours before Natasha would come over, giving him enough time to cook. He chuckled slightly to himself, finding it funny that he -the once great prince of Asgard… was cooking.

Natasha had made sure that she looked alright. She smiled and walked to Loki's door with a bottle of wine in hand and rang the doorbell to be polite instead of just walking in as she normally would. She smiled as she waited wondering what was beyond the door in front of her this time.

Loki had just finished cooking when Natasha arrived. He pulled the door open and smiled slightly, letting her in. "You're just in time," He said stepping aside to let her in.

She stepped inside and smiled at him, placing a soft kiss to his lips in a greeting. He returned her kiss and smiled looking down at her. She smiled a bit more and looked around. "You didn't," she said her senses registering the scents in the apartment.

A little embarrassed he nodded. "I did," He replied taking from her the bottle she carried. "A red wine?"

She shrugged and chuckled. "Yes. I figured it would work. And it's not just any, it's a very good wine. An Australian Shiraz," She replied looking at him. "I happen to enjoy it. Not as much as my vodka but… I didn't think that would be appropriate."

"Perhaps not," He stated as he walked to the kitchen. She followed him after she draped her jacket in her usual place. She couldn't help but lean in the doorway watching Loki add the final things. A smile was plastered on her face and she had to resist chuckling. A prince… **her** prince… was cooking. Granted he might think something similar when he found out she could as well, and it surprised her that he didn't find it odd that she could dance.

She helped when she could and they sat down to the meal and she couldn't help but be slightly apprehensive. She rarely ate anything anyone else made her unless they were at a restaurant. But, she trusted him and as she took her first bite she was glad she did. "Did you go to culinary school or something?" She asked looking at him from across the table. He chuckled and shook his head. "No. I just learned," he admitted.

"I'm so glad I have you," She said smiling softly. He held her hand on the table and stroked the back of it with his thumb. "As I am glad I have you."

After dinner and a few glasses of wine, Loki pulled out the file he had been hiding with a large grin on his face. "You know that Mission you're supposed to be going on?" he asked before showing it to her. "Looks like I'm coming with you on a mission."

Natasha blinked for a second and then a bright smile became plastered on her face. "You are? Loki this is amazing!" She let out a small laugh of delight and held his hand. "I guess we are starting to wipe our ledgers clean together."

Loki nodded. "Just as I promised you, Tasha," he said, pouring them both another glass of wine. She smiled and nodded remembering the promise he made her. Taking her glass she raised it in front of her. "To us righting our wrongs, together."

He clinked his glass against hers, smiling slightly. She sipped the red liquid and looked at him. "You think you can follow me on this one?" She asked as a smirk tugged at her lips.

"I think I can follow you anywhere," He replied. "After all, deception was my area."

"It was, and it continues to be mine," She said smiling.

"That it does," He stated holding her hand a bit more firmly. "You are amazing Natasha."

"Just as you are Loki."

He got up and pulled her from her chair. She looked up at him and looked in his eyes. She loved the emerald pools she gazed into and felt so at home with. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly, pulling her close in an embrace. Her hands rested on his shoulders and she returned his kiss. He rested his forehead on hers and smiled at her. "I am glad I have you my little spider," he whispered.

"Just as I am glad I have you my prince," She replied. The emerald eyes met one another and smiles spread across the two faces. "Care to dance with me?" He asked her, his gaze unwavering.

"I would love to," She replied before kissing him sweetly. He smiled against her lips and pulled her from the dining room into an open area. He turned on turned on the radio and changed the music. She rested her left hand on his shoulder and set their frame. He pulled her close and started moving them around the floor. Just something about being with her, having her in his arms and sharing this thing he knew, it was perfect.

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder and smiled as they danced together. "We need to work on this since we'll be going to a gala," She said quietly, enjoying the relaxing movement and the scent of him.

"Why do you think I asked you to dance?" he asked with a slight smirk on his face as he spun her around pulling her close.

"You are always thinking," she replied through a chuckle.

"I am. But when I'm with you, things focus on you and you alone," He admitted quietly. She looked up into his eyes and smiled gently. He held her close, reveling in the fact that she looked at him, not with resent for what he had done, not with disdain or resentment, but kindness and admiration. He knew the same emotions were reflected in his own eyes down to her. He loved her, all of her. The good and the bad of her made her unique, and he loved that she went through her life and became the woman in his arms today. Nothing would make him happier than to have her with him always. He moved them to the couch and sat with her curled up beside him. He was happy, content, and felt like he was in paradise with her beside him, holding onto him and her head resting on his shoulder. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder he couldn't be happier than he was with her.


	9. Blame someone

Loki had almost forgotten that they had been on a mission, having more fun than he had in a long time. He glanced over at the woman on his arm and said quietly, smiling, "It was easier than I thought it would be."

"Well, you had me with you. It gets harder when you go things alone. I wasn't about to let you mess up," She said as she took his hand in her black gloved one. The gloves extended to her mid-bicep and complemented the emerald green formal evening gown she wore. The sweetheart neckline dipped into her cleavage, and the black corset cinched right under her breasts flattering her figure and making them more pronounced. A small red hourglass was made of jewels on the left side of the corset as a small joke to her. The satin fabric rested against her skin and made her feel elegant, regal. The silver jewelry glinted in the lights around and the emerald and diamond bracelet sparkled on her wrist.

He laced his fingers with hers, smiling softly. He then looked up to see Clint and Agent Hill heading their way. "Don't look now, but your… partner is coming over here," he warned Natasha.

Natasha blinked for a second before putting steel in her spine and smiling up at Loki. "I'm not sure what he is to me anymore to be honest," she admitted quietly, her face falling slightly. They were still technically in their covers until they reached their room but since their mission was finished, they didn't have to truly worry about a blown cover, but it's nice to keep covers you can use again when dealing with people in the same circles.

Loki squeezed her hand slightly, glaring darkly at Clint. Quickly he lead Natasha out of the building, not wanting to blow there cover, even if they were done. Natasha walked with Loki confused by his sudden wish to leave and smiled saying goodbye to everyone as they left. Maria Hill looked at Clint and raised an eyebrow sensing a deep seeded tension about to sprout up, one that might destroy the best partnership SHIELD had ever known.

Barton followed after them, eyes hard and full of anger. He soon reached outside, scanning the area to see the two. "I thought I told you to stay away from her," he growled darkly at Loki, his eyes narrow and gaze sinister.

Natasha blinked registering the words. She was determined to make it away from the venue before she broke her disguise and Loki's as well. But she was going to have Strong words with Fury when she got back.

Once they were far enough away Loki stopped and turned to face the oncoming agent "Barton, honestly...you need to grow up," he stated calmly, looking at the angry agent.

"Like hell, I do" Clint growled darkly in the same icy tone.

Natasha rounded on her partner and looked him over. "Why are you here?" She asked, knowing that Clint wouldn't be able to do his job while Loki was around because of the intense hatred that the Hawk felt for Loki. Hill walked up behind Clint and looked at the trio, not sure to intervene or not.

"Fury sent me to make he didn't mess up," Clint snapped, eyes narrowing and his gaze roaming from Loki to Natasha. "You two seem pretty cozy," he surmised, looking at the pair.

"We have to be while we're on assignment. I'm sure you two are somewhat the same," She said looking from him to Hill. Maria raised an eyebrow. "We're off assignment now," Maria stated not sure which team to "Side" with if she had to choose.

"SHIELD has agents posted outside of the apartment Loki resides in! We know you have been going to see him, and he is going to see you! Explain that," Clint yelled, his rage expressed in the manner he could muster.

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "I don't have to explain myself to you Barton! None of us do. The only one I have to explain myself to is Fury, and he doesn't seem bothered by it. If he was don't you think he would have moved Loki to Alaska or something so he wouldn't be a bother? Do you think he would have let him come on the mission?" She knew better than to ask why he was upset because she knew. She knew he woke up to nightmares about what he had done... She knew that he held a grudge, a very strong and heavy grudge against Loki.

"Why can you not see that he is the enemy, Romanoff!" He yelled, voice cracking slightly. "Why is it so hard to see what is standing right in front of you!? Everything he says is lies, everything he touches is destroyed!" His heart was broken, and he was letting all the anger he felt spill out of him. "He should have been put to death back on his home world...he is nothing more than a vile waste of space," he spat out venomously.

Loki stepped in then, not wanting Clint's words to harm Natasha. "Look, be angry at me if you wish...just...leave her out of this," he said calmly, trying to diffuse the tension between the agents. Clint glared at him, socking him in the jaw without a word.

Natasha gasped seeing all of this unfold. H-He hadn't done what she thought he did... what she did. "NO!" She yelled. She couldn't let Loki be hurt anymore because of her. He went to SHIELD to turn himself in, and was punished by people there. She did her best to try and help things but she couldn't. Everything was happening all over again. She watched the fight seeing the worst result. The third person she cared about, dead in her life. She almost hauled off and gave Clint a good backhand across the face, but Maria grabbed her hand and tucked her arms behind her back. Natasha fought off Hill while watching Clint and Loki go at it.

Loki growled darkly wiping the blood from his once again split lip. "You know Barton...I'm getting sick of being used as your training dummy," his voice was calm, though there was a hint of venom in it. He could fight back now, he could defend himself now. With a slight smirk he sent a kick towards the man's stomach, watching as he doubled back.

Natasha struggled against Hill's hold as she watched the two most important people in her life draw blood. Clint glared as he stepped backwards and caught his breath from being kicked in the solar plexus, "Then perhaps you should have stayed home and ended yourself like the pathetic excuse for a god you were," He spat back icily. He moved in and gave a few good body shots to Loki's torso and one to the jaw.

Maria held Nat back, knowing that it would be best to just let them fight it out. She had an idea as to why Natasha was so worried about Loki, though she knew it was none of her concern. He hissed in pain, stumbling backwards slightly. "And what of you, Barton? Blinded by hate and rage… you have the makings to become a monster!" He stalked around him, like a cat awaiting the right moment to strike "You are childish...selfish...you are a man who has everything... but nothing!" he threw another punch before knocking his legs out from under him.

He fell to the ground but sprang right back up. "At least I know I've never lied to my partner. I've never threatened her of my own will and I know that I know what's in her best interest. I saved her life when I should have killed her. What good have you done for her? Nothing." He growled angrily. He let off a good couple of blows to Loki's ribs and a strong heel kick to the diaphragm.

Natasha hated seeing them fight. And they were fighting over her. She felt like a possession something that could be bought and sold, coveted even. She hung her head and gave up her fight against Maria, knowing that the more she relaxed the better off her chances were Hill would let her go.

Loki winced slightly as he fell to the ground, the sharp rocks scratching him up pretty bad. He stood, eyes narrowing and stated frigidly, "I understand what she went through, Barton! I understand her more then you could ever hope to." He straightened, his hands uncurling themselves as he said what he kept inside. "And because I know it would hurt her to see you injured...I am done fighting." He turned his back towards Clint, starting back towards the two female agents.

Clint looked at Loki and tried to fathom what he meant. "How on earth could a spoiled god know about what a simple earthling like us went through? Weren't your lives perfection?" He asked angrily. Natasha just stood there, not sure what to do or say. She wasn't used to someone actually concerned with her feelings. She thought of Clint as her friend, her partner and Loki knew it would actually make her upset seeing those two fight.

"My life was not as perfect as you think, Barton...it was far from it," he said, stopping in his tracks.

"And ours were all roses," Clint said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Natasha knew she had to step in. "That's enough! Please! Just... Stop!" Maria let Natasha go then, walking over to Clint "You do realize I will have to report this to SHIELD," she said calmly, looking at the three people.

Natasha looked at Maria, nodded curtly, and without saying a word she walked off. She couldn't stay there. If she did, she would explode and probably lose her job at SHIELD.

Clint sighed and looked at Hill. "What will it do?"

"You attacked him!" Maria snapped, narrowing her eyes. "You will be lucky if the Director will send you on a mission again within the next week!"

Clint looked at Maria with steel in his gaze. "You know what he did. He Killed Phil Coulson! And yet you're going to let him just... live with it?"

"No, I haven't forgotten!" Maria yelled, having been close with Phil. "But the man who killed him...I don't see that man in this Loki, something has changed about him."  
Clint looked at Maria and shook his head. "You don't understand. You don't know what he did to people. What he put them through! You saw it from one end but for the people under his control saw it differently. He's a monster and should have been put down."  
Maria shook her head slightly. "You went through a lot, I know...but you are a trained SHIELD agent, and you should know how to look past your feelings and focus on the mission," she reprimanded.  
He sighed and looked at Maria. "She's my partner. I worked alone until we were set up together. She knows things and I don't want her telling anyone. I know she won't but... there's just... I can't lose my partner." His voice and dropped into a quiet and defeated tone as he progressed through the sentence.

"You won't lose her...just, stop attacking him and you will both be fine," she said before looking around. "We should go. We need to write up our reports." She walked off and pulled Clint with her as he said, "You don't know that Maria. There's something there. I don't know why she can't see what he is."

Loki was unsure if he should follow Natasha or not, though after a moment he quietly followed after her, head down. Natasha wasn't mad at Loki. She couldn't be. She was mad at her partner. She thought he trusted her enough to make her own decisions. Natasha just kept walking and headed to where they were staying until the morning. Loki glanced up at her after a moment, a frown on his face. He knew he shouldn't have fought with Agent Barton, but he had been tired of being pushed around.

She looked at Loki sadly. "I'm sorry. I didn't know he'd send Clint," She said quietly. "I'm sorry that he hits you, and that he's mad at me for being with you and blaming my choices on you."

Loki shook his head slightly. "No...it is fine. I understand his anger...with all that he went through...he needs to take his anger out on someone."

"You went through more than him and you're not blaming anyone!" She said looking up at him. She looked into his emerald eyes and smiled. "You could blame your brother, you could blame someone, but you don't."

Loki shook his head at her words. "I blame Thanos...and myself." He looked down at her, into her eyes. "I know that it was Thanos...but Agent Barton still thinks it was me."

Natasha looked at him and frowned. "I don't blame you. And I won't. But I will help you against Thanos. No matter what it takes." She wrapped her arms gently around him and hugged him close.

Loki smiled softly, wrapping his arms around her, "Just promise you will never put yourself in danger because of me," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I could never forgive myself if you were harmed."

She looked up and frowned. "But I don't think I could handle it if you were hurt and I couldn't do anything." She said quietly. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "I can't stand by and watch you get hurt," she whispered.

Loki chuckled at her words. "I have been through much...and I can go through more as long as you're safe, my love," he whispered, arm wrapped around her as they walked.

She had her head resting on his shoulder as they walked smiling at the fact she actually had someone who would admit out loud that they loved her. Sure she had heard it while she was on assignment... But those were covers. He loved her and she honestly and truly loved him. "Then I will do as you ask. I won't like it, but... because I love you... I will," she said looking up at him. The words were out there, and she actually enjoyed them being there.

Loki smiled softly, looking down at her. That had been the first time she had said those words, even though he knew she did even if she hadn't said them "And I love you, my spider...and I always will."

She returned his soft smile and placed a simple kiss on his lips. She hadn't said the words because they were to hard for her to admit. But, they became easier if she thought about saying them less. It was true all the same, but she didn't have to worry anymore. The tension of her first time admitting it was through. She just hoped that now that she was able to say it, she didn't over use it.

It didn't take too long to reach the hotel that they were to stay at and Loki managed to patch himself up with no real trouble, having gotten used to it from his experiences. "You should get some rest, love," he said softly.

She sat in a chair, still in her gown, with her knees pulled up to her chest. "I don't really sleep," she admitted quietly. "I don't like what comes with it."

Loki looked over his bare shoulder, raising an eyebrow. "I am afraid I do not understand..." he thought for a moment before he realized "You have nightmares...don't you?"

She nodded and sighed. "Why do you think I never stayed with you or offered you to stay with me?" She looked at him with a sadness in her eyes that could almost cover the slight amount of fear of reliving her life that shown there.

Loki dried his hands before tossing the towel onto the sink. He knelt in front of the chair, looking into her eyes. "Honestly love...I have nightmares too..." He cupped her chin, falling silent for a moment. "Though I find focusing your thoughts on something else helps keep them at bay."

Natasha smiled a bit and then sighed. "I've tried. But with everything that's happened... I just..." She didn't know how to tell him that now her nightmares weren't just about her past, but the possibility and ways she could lose him. "But just because one time you fail, doesn't mean you can't try again in a different way I guess."

Loki placed a kiss to her forehead. "And I will be right here with you if you need me," he whispered, holding her hands in his. She smiled and blushed lightly at his action. "I love you, Loki." She said looking into his emerald eyes. "You're the most amazing person I've met. Thank you... for everything."

"You're welcome," He replied. He stood up, pulling her along with him and into an embrace. She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. "By the way," He said quietly looking down at her. "You look beautiful."

She blushed lightly and looked up at him. "You look very handsome as well," She replied. He gave her a grin and kissed her forehead. "You should rest now. I'll be here."

She walked to the bedroom and changed from her gown into her pajamas. Once comfortable she took off her makeup and sat on the bed. Loki had changed into his sleepwear, a t-shirt and sleep pants. Natasha laid down on the bed and bit her lip. "Loki?" She called out quietly.

He walked into the doorway and looked at her. "Yes Nat?" He asked concerned.

"You coming to bed?" She asked, patting the bed beside her. She hoped he would accept her offer and smiled as he made his way to the bed. He sat next to her and stretched out. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," She said, nodding and curling up. He laid down and she smiled and closed her eyes. He wrapped his arm around her and she curled up into his side. He heard her breathing start to even out and he himself drifted into a sleep.


	10. That's Why I Said Could

**A/N: I'm changing the Rating of this story for a subsequent chapter(s). So you know. Don't hate me and dont' hate the story because of it please! WE ALL LOVE YOU!**

After many weeks of seeing the results from the new pair he created, Director Nick Fury was shocked to say one thing. He would make Loki an agent of SHIELD. He never thought those words would be spoken, but the two of them, Agent Romanoff and Loki, had a track record just like Romanoff and Barton had. He had separated the two agents to give them a break from each other, hoping that whatever was between them fixed itself so he could have a perfect trio if need be. But for now, he'd deal with the one agent and two partners she worked well with. He stood in his office and waited for the meeting he would hold with the former war criminal and went over the words in his head. "You are now an Agent of SHIELD Loki Laugheyson."

Loki had been surprised when he had been called into Fury's office, the former god didn't think he did anything wrong...had he? He shook his head, taking a deep breath as he walked through the halls of S.H.I.E.L.D . He kept his head down, still not really being accepted into the group, always having eyes on him, still being used as a punching bag at times. That didn't matter, what did was that he was working on wiping the red out. He knocked quietly, knocking on the office door before opening it "You wished to see me, Director?"

Fury stood at the wall of windows the over looked Manhattan from his office and heard the man enter. "Yes. I did." He turned to look at Loki and motioned for him to stand inside the room and look out the window. "What do you see when you look out these windows?" the director asked in a monotone staring out of the glass at the view.

Loki frowned slightly, clearly confused as to why he was doing this, though he did what he was told, looking out over the city. A few of the buildings were still being rebuilt from his attack, though other than that, everyone seemed to have forgotten and were going back to their normal lives. "I see a city that has been through much...and yet...it refuses to give up..." he stated calmly, looking at the scene.

"Not the answer I thought you'd give," he said after a moment of silence. He turned to look at the candidate before him. "But a better one." He walked to his desk and picked up a file. "It's been weeks since you showed up here and gave us our first piece of information. And to be honest, I didn't want to allow you here. I still thought of you as the arrogant god of tricks and lies that turned two of the sharpest men I know into your personal flying monkeys. And yet... there was something about your arrival and the circumstances that came before and after made it much needed."

Loki didn't look away from the city as the Director spoke. The words struck him differently hearing that it wasn't the answer he was looking for. "If you do not mind my asking...what answer did you think I would give, Director?" He turned to look at him after a long moment, wondering what the man was getting at. "I am no longer the man I was. And I assure you that I will live the rest of my mortal life trying to redeem myself for what I have done."

"I thought you would say something like... 'The city I almost destroyed and that seems to destroy me as I live here.'" Fury said looking at Loki. "You've already started that task." He set the file down and picked up a small box. "And I would like to give you the opportunity to continue that plan. You've done well with the tests I've set ahead of you. Each mission you did, each training simulation you were in... all tests." He held out the box to the former god in front of him. "Those are your tickets to your new life."

Loki looked at the man, his brows furrowing as he took the box. "I am afraid I do not understand," he stated confused as he looked down at the box. Was the Director truly making him an agent of the side of light? But he hated him...he thought he was only lying...didn't he? Loki looked back up at him "You were testing me...?"

"I was. I wanted to see if you truly had changed," Fury said looking into the emerald eyes of the man he had hated for the longest time. "In that box you'll find your ID card, and your badge. You are now an Agent of SHIELD Loki Laugheyson. Do not make me regret trusting you this much so you can continue contributing to our efforts and clearing your own strikes."

Loki shook his head to clear the shocked expression from his features. "You will not regret it, Director...I thank you for giving me this chance." He would have told him that he did not go by Laugheyson, but by Odinson... though he knew not to push his luck. "It will be a pleasure to officially work under your command, sir," he held out his hand as an act of truce between them

Fury looked at Loki and took his hand sealing the unspoken truce between the two men. "Good. You're dismissed Agent."

Loki nodded softly, turning to leave. He went straight to the training room, knowing Natasha was there at this time. He glanced around, glad to see no one was there but her. He smirked coming up behind her and spun her around, pulling her into a deep kiss

Natasha had been training until out of nowhere, she we kissed. She stood there stunned for a moment before returning his kiss feeling something different. "Are you alright? Tell me you're not leaving," She said a small bit of panic rising in her voice. She knew he was seeing Fury. She thought he might have actually sent him to Alaska or somewhere he couldn't bother anyone...

Loki chuckled slightly, kissing her again. "Far from it, love" he said, pulling away slightly and showing her his I.D. card and badge. "It looks like I'll be staying here for a long time."

She smiled brightly seeing the items in his hand and looked up into his eyes, beaming with pride and joy. "Welcome to SHIELD Agent Odinson," She said, using the name she knew he deserved, even if it wasn't the name he was given at birth. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into another kiss.

Loki grinned, wrapping his arms around her. "I am glad to be a part of it, my love," he whispered against her lips.

She smiled brightly in their kiss and pulled closer to him. Granted she probably looked a mess with her sweatpants and tank top on for training and the bands wrapped around her hands but she just couldn't help but hold him close. She was proud of everything he had done, everything he had accomplished to get to this point.

"Now we can truly wipe the red out together..." he whispered quietly, resting his forehead in hers. She nodded and felt the smile she had on her lips would be staying for a while. "That we will. We already started and now we'll finish it."

Loki knew that if someone walked in at this moment, they would be caught, but he honestly didn't care. "And to think...I thought he was going to lock me up for some unknown reason."

"I thought he would send you to Alaska... or Timbuktu." She admitted. "But just so you know, if you're ever moved... I'm visiting you. For long amounts of time."

Loki chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "I don't think I would let you leave then, my spider," he said, kissing her again, though he froze when he heard someone coming.

Natasha heard the footsteps and pulled back from the kiss turning it into an embrace. No one could know they were together, if they did, they wouldn't be allowed to work together. She held him close and whispered in his ear, "Then I will do whatever my prince asks of me."

"And I shall do whatever my princess asks me to do," he whispered, kissing her once more. She smiled against his lips and she couldn't care who walked in the door. Maria walked into the training room and saw the two together. She stood there stunned and knew then that her suspicions from that first mission were true. The two of them were compromised... by each other. If someone got one of them, it was immediate leverage over the other.

Slowly he pulled away, smiling. He then glanced over behind him and froze. "Agent Hill! I..." he tried to explain and cleared his throat. "What are you doing here?"

Natasha looked at Maria like a deer in headlights. Maria stepped forward towards the pair and cleared her own throat. "I wanted to be the one to prep Agent Romanoff for the surprise of you becoming an Agent... but I see I'm very late. And that you two could be in trouble." Natasha blinked at the word choice.

Loki's brows furrowed. "Agent Hill...Maria," he started as he took a step towards her. "We...started this...relationship before I even went on the first mission with her..." His eyes became soft, pulling out his secret weapon...his puppy eyes. "Please don't tell anyone."

Maria looked at Loki's eyes and couldn't help but fold the slightest bit more. "That is why I said could." Natasha looked at Maria in Shock. "Y-You're not-" Maria looked at the two and smiled a bit. "I knew there was something there on that mission. Natasha wouldn't have tried to intervene unless it was over someone she cared about. And since her and Agent Barton have been slightly estranged ever since you were here... I knew it was you she was trying to help."

Loki smiled, nodding softly "Thank you...Maria" he said, bowing his head slightly in thanks

Maria nodded in reply. "I wasn't planning on it. I could have reported it that night. But there's something different about both of you. I've worked alongside Agent Romanoff for a while, I know her about as much as she'll let me like the other agents. There are walls between all of us. Between you both, there don't seem to be any. You two work flawlessly together and I knew I couldn't stand in the way... and I won't. I'll do what I can to make sure others don't as well."

Natasha and Loki looked at the woman gratefully. He wrapped an arm around Natasha's waist and smiled softly. "Thank you Maria," He stated simply, watching the brunette.

"You're welcome," She said before turning on her heels and walking out of the room. Natasha looked up at Loki and smiled. "We've technically been sanctioned by SHIELD," She said through a grin.

"In a sense yes," he replied looking into her eyes. "But we should still try to remain discreet."

"Of course we will," she stated pulling away from him to grab her things. "I'm a spy after all." He watched her and smiled. "I know," He replied and something just came into his mind. Before he could figure out what it was the phrase he had heard once slipped from his lips, "So I guess you're the spy who loves me."

She cocked her head to the side hearing the title to a James Bond movie. She straightened up and chuckled looking over her shoulder at him. "And how do you know James Bond?"

"It was on the television one day," He replied shrugging his shoulders. She smiled brightly, turned around, and pulled him into a kiss. "I guess I am."

He held her close and smiled. Nothing could match this day in his life. He was where he wanted to be, with the person who mattered most to him, and doing what he wanted to be doing. This, was better than anything he had experienced in his life so far.


	11. Bartering Ballet

Clint was never really one for the arts, nor for working on partner assignments without his partner. Natasha hadn't been around for two months, something very unusual for her. She didn't just drop off the grid. He walked to the theater where they were supposed to see the performance of "Giselle". He looked around casually for Loki since the two wouldn't be entering together as he and Nat normally would.

Loki had been worried, though he never let his mask slip to anyone but Hill, even then it was barely a slip. He had a feeling that something had gone completely wrong, and to top it all off, Fury had stuck him with Clint. He sighed softly spotting his partner before moving to go into the theater. They had managed to get seats in the front row, Clint four chairs down from him.

Clint walked to his chair and looked around holding the program in his hand. There was an article in the paper that this was the best performance of the show they had. The newest prima ballerina was spectacular, reviews said. That was one thing he couldn't wait for, to see if this woman really did live up to her name. In the program her name was listed as Natalia Alianovna. As the show began he sat in his seat and watched the stage set itself with dancers and the story began to unfold without words.

Loki was half paying attention to the story, his eyes scanning the dancers. He then saw a flash of bright red hair and he suddenly felt his stomach tie in knots ."Tasha..." he muttered under his breath, glancing over at Clint.

Clint watched the ballerinas, scoping them and saw one that caught his eye. The prima ballerina, the star moved with a familiar grace. He watched her and felt something familiar about her. The red hair tied up in its bun, the simple and graceful way she moved. She expressed emotions through her dance and people around him were crying at sad parts of the story due to her dancing.

Loki wanted nothing more than to jump up on stage and take her back to S.H.I.E.L.D, but he knew he couldn't, he knew he had to stay put, showing no emotion on his face. As he watched her, he remembered how he had watched her dance in her living room, how he taught her how to ballroom dance, and how they danced together after their lessons.

Clint watched the performance until the curtains came down. He blinked and shook his head, trying to figure out if the prima ballerina actually had been Natasha. She moved and looked like Natasha, but the assassin couldn't be a ballerina. There was just something in his mind that forbid that notion to stick.

Loki stood once it was over, skillfully motioning to Clint to tell him the meet him backstage so they could grab Natasha and get out of there. Clint nodded and got up, walking around through the theater to where he could get backstage. He made his way through the crowd and tried to think of a cover to pass off here. He had one to get in, but that wouldn't work to get a dancer out of the company.

Natasha sat in her dressing room which was filled with flowers. She looked in the mirror wearing her black gown with red designs as people came in pouring her compliments. She sat there and took them all nodding and replying not really smiling. Her 'manager' came in and ushered the group away. "You did very well Natasha." He said to her, stroking her hair. She just looked in the mirror and waited her next command as she was trained to. The manager was the man from her past, the man who reminded her who she was. Natalia… the finest Black Widow Red Room Academy trained. The one who returned her to perfection.

Loki soon reached the dressing room and took a deep breath, planning on posing as an interested party who is looking for talent such as hers. Clint walked with Loki and took on a cover relative to Loki's so they could finish their mission, only he would be the assistant. He watched as Loki talked with someone and the person walked off down the hall. "So, we're seeing her?"

"Yes," Loki said simply, his mind reeling from the plans he was constructing, the lies he was weaving in his mind.

Natasha simply messed with a black rose she was given and looked in the mirror, her expression stoic. Her 'manager' walked up to Loki and Clint smiling. "I am Alexi, Ms. Alianovna's manager. You say you may like to... borrow her?"

Clint knew better than to try and outshine Loki in this setting. Deceit was his trade after all. "Indeed I do," Loki said, watching the man for a moment. "Ms. Alianovna's performance was spectacular, and our theater would greatly benefit with talent such as hers," he said calmly. "We will pay her handsomely if you accept."

Alexi thought about it for a moment. "We have her scheduled for this run and she'll be training for the next show." He looked at the two agents and smiled. "I'm sorry but she will not be able to leave."  
Clint watched and acted as a functioning mute, letting Loki use his silver tongue.

"That is a pity," Loki sighed. "We were willing to pay whatever it took to have her perform at the London Palladium." He had chosen that since he had read it was one of the most famous theaters in England. "It would have been a great opportunity for Ms. Alianovna as well."

Alexi nodded his head. "It would have been. Unfortunately, she cannot breach a contract. Perhaps one of the other dancers may be of use to you."

Natasha got up when someone grabbed her arm and walked out of the room. She held onto the black rose and was lead to Alexi. "Sir, she's ready for your after performance celebrations," the woman said in Russian before walking away. Natasha looked at Loki and Clint with no gleam of recognition in her eyes. She stood there like a doll, waiting to be moved.

"What if I offer to buy out her contract," Loki offered, praying that he would bite.

Alexi chuckled, knowing he couldn't let his masterpiece leave the Academy. "You must truly want my star." Natasha stood stoically, seeming to look through the SHIELD agents. Clint knew something was up because she was never that cold or silent, since he had brought her back to SHIELD with him. He looked from Loki to Alexi as they bartered. "If you wish, you're welcome to come with us. There is a banquet being held for the cast. I'm sure you will find a ballerina that will suit your wishes. And if Ms. Alianovna agrees, you may see her perform again. Come gentlemen it is this way." He wrapped an arm around Natasha's waist and guided the woman into the room. Clint looked at Loki with a look of, "Now What?"

Loki looked over at Clint, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Now we wait for the seed that I have planted to take root," he answered. "And if he doesn't take the offer once he has time to think of it, then, we will wait until the two of them are alone again and forcefully take her"

Clint looked at Loki and nodded. "Alright. But I will say, something's up with her. She's not like this. Natasha's... off. She almost looks-" He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. He felt he knew this Natasha. She seemed similar to the one he was sent to kill those years ago. "We should go. Don't want them leaving now do we?"

"Like how she did when you first brought her back..." Loki finished before giving a slight nod, following them into the room. He prayed that this would work...it had to though...to keep up the act, Alexi would have to take the offer, no manager would turn something like it down. Unless, he wasn't truly a manager.

Clint followed Loki inside and saw Alexi and Natasha in a group of people. Alexi whispered something to her and she bowed her head leaving the group to go to another room. He looked at Loki and then to the door Natasha had gone through. "You going to work on her or on him?" He asked looking over to Alexi.

Loki bit his bottom lip, thinking for a moment. He looked at Clint then replying, "Let's go after her...I'll distract her. You... I hate to say this, but you need to knock her out...she won't come willingly," he replied quietly before following after her, unnoticed. He knew that she was going after her mark, so he moved quickly, soon reaching her "Ah, Ms. Alianovna, it is wonderful to meet you properly."

Clint sighed and tried thinking of the best way to knock out **this** Natasha as he followed Loki. Natasha turned around and raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe we have met and you have me at a disadvantage. You know my name but I do not know yours," she spoke in English seeing as how that was how she was addressed. She gave a coy smile and looked up at him through her eyelashes. Clint watched the two devising a way to get her to submit. And that would not be easy.

"Ah, right. I'm William Radcliff," Loki replied, bowing his head slightly. "I must say, your dancing was the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long while." He gave her a charming smile, looking into her eyes. "How long have you been at it, dear?"

Natasha smiled and nodded to Loki. "It is a pleasure to meet you. I have been dancing ever since I was a little girl. Alexi found me when I was younger and he put me through everything I needed. He said I was a prodigy in the art of ballet. If you'll excuse me sir, I must go and powder my nose. It was a pleasure meeting you." She curtsied slightly and turned her back on Loki. Clint had moved down the hall and waited for the right time. As she passed he lunged out at her only to have her fight back and deflect every shot he threw at her.

Loki didn't want to do it, but he knew it would stun her, if just a bit. Quickly he took out one of his throwing knives, throwing it to have it hit her calf. Quickly he ran towards her, managing to get her to the ground.

She fell to the ground without a sound and Clint pinned her there, grabbing a trigger point making her pass out. He looked at the woman below him and frowned as he looked up at Loki. "She's even worse than I feared."

Loki nodded softly, picking her up and slinging her over his shoulder "Have SHIELD get us a ride back to them" he said, heading towards the back exit.

Clint nodded and walked out a different way, calling in their report and to get them out.


	12. Exclamations and Explanations

**A/N: To those of you who have been reviewing faithfully... I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! You all are awesome! AND! IF you love this story... If you LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH! You will message me with Ideas to keep the story going. There is so much that has happened already that you don't know about yet. Give us more reviews and you'll know sooner! *Grins* We love hearing from you! **

**A/N: And so you know... this chapter might make you want tissues. I will let you grab them now...**

Clint sighed as they touched down at the base. Every so often he made sure he kept Natasha unconscious. The three of them in the plane may have been a bit much, considering they had just kidnapped her in her mind. He watched as a medical team and others rushed her inside to stabilize her and make sure things were right with his partner.

Loki was worried about her and as soon as they had her set up in a privet room, cuffed to her bed, he was there, by her side. Clint had paced around the halls, knowing what they had done to her. It was the same thing he had woken up to after Natasha had hit him over the head. He figured things would be bad... but he worried over just how bad.

After a while she moved a bit in her state. She started to move more violently and her eyes flashed open but the room she saw was not the safe room of SHIELD... it was the room she had been kept in to return her back to her original state, the Original mind set of Natalia, the best Black Widow the Red Room Academy had trained. She fought the restraints as and started screaming out in Russian for not only did she see the room, she felt everything they did, and another pain... a pain that ripped through her like molten iron flaying her skin and muscle piece by piece.

Loki shook his head, placing his hand on her arm, whispering calming things to her, anything that would make them sound like they were together. He whispered in Russian, "Natasha...listen to my voice...your safe, my little spider, no one can touch you again..." He felt his heart breaking at the state she was in.

She screamed and had tears in her eyes as she cried out in her native language, "No! No please! I know nothing! Not that, not that! PLEASE! I swear! I have said nothing! Everything I know has been safe! Please! Alexi... No! Not you. Y-You were dead! Just let me go! This time finish everything completely! I can't be this! I can't!" She heard the Russian but it was not his voice her heard, but the man responsible for her retrograde amnesia giving orders on what next to do to her. She screamed each time the staff in her mind came close to killing her in every single way she hated and feared. Sobs racked through her and she continued to pull against the restraints until she was bloody around her wrists.

Loki felt sick to his stomach at her screaming. "Tasha...you're going to be fine...you'll get through this." He grabbed her hand, letting his become cold, hoping it would calm her. "You have to get through this for me...I don't think I can handle being on my own again," He spoke to her, though not in Russian. "You are my everything...you saved me... in more ways than one..."

She looked at him sobbing and begged him in Russian, "Please! Just let me go! I can't hurt him! I can't! Just let me go peacefully. No more!" For it was not her prince she saw, but the man she had married not out of love but her job, Alexi Shostakov, the man who pretended to be her manager. She begged him to let her die because she knew she would be sent after the two people she cared for most. But in her mind she heard a laugh and with what happened next she let out a blood curdling scream before falling limp on the bed.

Loki let tears roll down his cheeks as he leaned forward and placed his cold lips on her forehead, giving it a soft kiss. "I love you, Natasha Romanoff...and I won't leave your side until you are well again..."

Clint had heard her screams and her pleas. He had to blink back the tears welling in his eyes and he made sure no one went in there to do anything to her. He didn't know what she was seeing, but the thought of what might happen if she did get poked he couldn't heard her beg for her own death and felt his heart break with her scream. His partner had been through hell, and there was nothing anyone could do.

Loki didn't know long he was sitting there, having fallen asleep with his hand holding hers. His eyes only opened when she heard her stirring. Hopefully he looked at her, wishing that it was her waking to tell him that there would be nothing more, that she was fine and she wasn't suffering from her memories anymore.

Natasha winced at the light and the pain radiating through her. A splitting headache rested behind her eyes and felt like it would turn her brain to pudding. Her bones felt like they had iron needles on them and each time she moved she winced. Her throat was sore from screaming earlier and fresh tears streamed down her face. They had given her something, something to make her behave, to be their doll. And now that she didn't have it in her system, it was going to be painful.

A nurse walked into the room and looked at Loki. "Agent, perhaps you should head home. You look exhausted. Both you and Agent Barton haven't left." He shook his head, rubbing his eyes. "No...I'm not going to be leaving her anytime soon" he replied, caressing Natasha's hand with his thumb.

The nurse looked at Loki and then to the door. Maria stood in the doorway with what appeared to be tearstains on her cheeks. "We did a check... on the names Agent Barton gave us." She said looking at Loki. "If you could please come out here?" She asked him.

Loki looked at Hill for a moment before looking back at Natasha. "I'll be right back," he whispered before he stood, walking over to Maria. By the looks of it, the news they found was not good "Well? Who are they?" he asked, wanting nothing more than to hunt them down and slowly kill them.

She looked at him and sighed. "The name she was using... was the name of a little girl who died in a fire in a small town in the USSR. The name of her Manager and the name she shouted, was her ex-husband. Alexi Shostakov. He was a pilot who died during a training accident. All of this time she was in the Black Widow program, with the Red Room Academy." She said quietly. "She was brought back there from what we gather. She was reverted back to that by torture. Before you came to the room, we did an examination. She was tortured, extensively. We don't know exactly what the damage is and how bad it is. I wanted to warn you... to fill you in. I know how you feel about her," She explained looking up at the dedicated man in front of her.

Loki felt his hands curl into fists, his eyes flashing in anger. "Get a transport ready...I am going to kill them all, slowly," he had the same tone to his voice as he did when Thanos was controlling him. He wanted them to suffer as they made HIS Natasha do. He wanted them all to drown in their blood.

Maria blinked and stepped backwards, hearing his tone. "Loki... Think this through. Think about Natasha. What would she want you to do?" She tried navigating the situation carefully.

He was silent for a long moment before his fists uncurled. "They hurt her, Maria...they could have killed her..." There were tears trailing down his cheeks now, his tone was a lighter one now. "Why didn't she have back up?"

"I know what they did. She was my friend, too," She didn't know how to react to the former god now crying in front of her. She let a few tears fall from her own blue eyes. "It was supposed to be a get in, get out mission. They didn't think she needed it. They thought she'd be done in hours... at tops three days. That's it."

"But they sent her to Russia! They knew that she never wanted to go back there!" Loki took a shaky breath, shaking his head. "They should have sent me...or Barton...either of us could have done it...but no...they had to send her, and now look where she is! She has been screaming and begging to be put to death than suffer through what they did to her!"

"Loki... I don't think you know how she works. Barton does but not even he does as good of work as she does. In case you haven't noticed, we send you two after our female marks because, let's face it... you two are the best and with a simple smile you can get what you want," She explained calmly. "I didn't even know where she was going. I don't even think the Director knew. The Council sent her on this mission. If Fury knew he wouldn't have sent her."

Sighing sadly, he wished he could have done SOMETHING...anything to have stopped this from happening to her. He had made her a promise that he would protect her and he failed, terribly. "I just wish I could do something to help her through this..."

"You can," Maria said looking at heartbroken man before her. "You can stay with her and no matter what she says or what she does, remind her that she has someone here. Someone who loves her. And if she comes out of this fractured, broken... do your best to put her back together. She may not be perfect, but she'll be."

Loki nodded softly, roughly wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Thank you, Maria..." he said quietly. Quietly he went back into the room, taking a seat once again, slipping his hand into hers

Maria watched him walk back into the room and felt hot tears roll down her face. Natasha's eyes moved in her sleep. Her mind had turned what she displayed earlier, inward. Subconsciously she gripped onto Loki's hand as she witnessed everything again and again.

Gently he ran his fingers through her hair. "I'm here, little spider" he whispered "and I always will be...no matter what." Quietly he started to sing the lullaby Frigga...his mother had sung to him and Thor when they were children, knowing it had calmed him...hopefully it would calm her as well.

She started to calm down. Her mind wouldn't process the voice but it calmed her. It made her memories ease and fade slightly. A slight smile graced her lips, but it was a smile none the less.

He felt tears roll down his cheeks as he sang to her. Memories flooded into his mind of when Natasha had found him in that alley way, of how she saved him. She had been there for him, the first person who had truly been there. She calmed down but her hand still held Loki's in a grip like a vice almost. It was her line to the real world. It was now his turn to save her. He only hoped he could and soon.


	13. I Don't Remember!

Loki hadn't seen Natasha since she had gone back to her apartment after she had been discharged… rather discharged herself. He hadn't even heard from her but knew there was something up. Here he was, outside of her apartment, knocking on the door, hoping she would answer. "Natasha...please answer the door," he pleaded to the solid wood barrier denying him entrance. True he had a key, but he was sure she would kill him if he walked in unannounced given the state she was in. He had been out here for almost an hour now, and he knew for a fact that she was in there. "I brought you some Whiskey," He enticed. He knew it wasn't her favorite, and that she didn't really drink but it was what he knew. She brought him wine for their dinner date; he figured that's what happens when things happen. And… he figured she may need some of the liquid courage to come back into the world.

Natasha was curled up on her couch. She didn't want to see anyone. She couldn't... She didn't remember who she could trust... who knew what, who she was to people... nothing. She stayed on the couch hearing this person outside her door, knowing her name. Cautiously she got up and crossed to the door silently. She leaned against the barrier and quietly asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm worried about you, Tasha," Loki replied. "I know you don't remember me...but we were close." She let out a heavy sigh. He **seemed** to be alright. But just because someone seemed that way doesn't make it true... all the time. She opened the door slightly and looked at him like a scared child would. "If I let you in... will you... help me remember?" She bit her bottom lip hating to ask for help from someone she didn't know. How could she be sure he would tell her the truth? She couldn't. But there was something inside of her that told her to trust him.

Loki nodded softly looking down at her. "I will help you as best I can..." he said, locking gazes with her ."You can trust me, My little spider."

Something about that phrase hit home to her. Someone had called her that many times. It wasn't a bad thing, it was... a pet name. She opened the door wider and kept herself behind the wood and thus away from him. There was also something about his eyes; she wanted to say... the green wasn't his normal color, but that it was something else.

He nodded towards her, stepping into the apartment and taking his jacket off and hanging it on a hanger in the closet by the door. "Is there anything you remember?" He asked, wondering what she needed help remembering.

She blinked and slightly shook her head no as she closed the door. "Not really. Other than being in Russia, and being trained. I-I remember Alexi... H-He leaned o-over me an-and told me that I was broken. I-I wasn't the woman h-he married. He told me that I-I needed to turn back... to... to be perfection again." She held her head remembering the words, the voice, the tone. It was haunting her.

Loki shook his head slightly. "Alexi is wrong...yes, you may not be that same woman...but you changed for the better..." He paused, looking her in the eyes. "You are perfection..." he whispered. She blinked and tilted her head confused by his comment about her. "H-How do you know? Why would you think that?"

"Like I said...we were close..." Loki whispered, gently brushing her hair from her eyes. "Close enough for you to tell me all about your past...and for me to tell you mine."

She blinked and slightly shied away from his touch. She walked to the couch and sat down, tucking her feet under her to look like she was keeling. "There's... something familiar." She said looking around. "I-I think I remember a bit... Of that. Maybe."

Loki frowned slightly, nodding, "You found me in an ally...I was hurt and you...took me back here, you patched me up...saved me."

Natasha blinked and curled up. "Why do I think your eyes are supposed to be a different color?" She asked looking at Loki.

"Because when we first met...I was under a sort of mind control, making my eyes an icy blue," he explained, watching her for a moment before continuing. "When I regained control my eyes returned to their normal color."

She blinked and closed her eyes putting a hand to her head. "I remember being here... and being pleasantly cold... safe. But I don't understand it!"

"If I show you something...will you promise not to be afraid?" he asked quietly, thinking he knew what she remembered. She nodded and looked at him confused.

Loki moved to sit next to her, gently taking her hand and letting himself become his Jotun form. She watched him change and felt the semi familiar chill. Looking him over, the blue tint of his skin, the elevated patterns and ridges marking him, and the ruby eyes she felt this was familiar. She moved closer and after hesitating a moment she embraced him. Loki slowly wrapped his arms around her. "You remember this, Nat..." he asked quietly, running his fingers gently through her hair

She nodded against his chest. "Yes. I-I remember this." He gave a sad smile, looking down at her "Then you know that you are safe, little spider."

She held him close to her, things slowly trickling into her mind and confusing her. "Loki... if I am perfection... why did you want me dead?" She asked looking up at him. Loki's brows furrowed, looking at her "When did I say I wanted you dead?"

"You said... you would have someone kill me in every way I hated," She said confusion written on her face. He felt his arms tighten around her slightly. "I had no control over what I said at that moment...someone else...a vile creature known as Thanos had control over me."

At the mention of the name her mind reels. Burying her face in his chest she frowned and let tears stream down her face remembering his story. She remembered seeing him bandaged, bruised, and crying regaling her with the story of how he was found and controlled by Thanos. He was surprised by the sudden burst of tears feeling he had to comfort her. "Hey...it's alright, love." He placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head "I'm here for you..."

"I'm so sorry," she said looking up at him. "Y-you... you shouldn't have been punished. You did nothing wrong!"

"What's past is past," he said quietly, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "And it brought me to you..."

She frowned a bit and looked down. "But... right now I am not the person you knew."

"That doesn't matter...I made a promise to you...that I would never leave your side..." He gently placed his hand on her cheek "And this is me, keeping that promise Tasha."

She put her hand over his and smiled up at him. "Thank you. I'm sorry I don't remember everything. A-Alexi gave me something..."

Loki nodded understanding what she was saying. "He gave you a drug...in time you will remember everything."

She nodded and curled up against him, finally starting to feel things other than fear, panic, and confusion. He held her and looked at the red head in his arms. She was broken, confused, hurting… and he would fix her. He would do everything he was capable of to fix her. She felt like a child, cradled in the arms of her guardian. He was her guardian… her protector. She was safe with him she knew that from his touch. He would never hurt her. She curled up tightly holding him close, enjoying the cool feeling of his skin. He was helping her remember, things she might not have been able to do on her own.

She looked up at him and smiled a bit. "Thank you," She mumbled quietly.

"You're welcome my little spider," He replied kissing her forehead.

She smiled and closed her eyes, not sure if she could remember anything else but really wanting him to stay with her.


	14. You'll Always Be With Me

Clint had listened to Maria's report about the names he heard Natasha cry out that day he returned. After that, he had left as soon as she was finished talking to him and went to the range. With his bow in his hand he started taking down the targets flawlessly. He was pissed off that the Council sent her to Russia. She was his partner! They should have sent him with her. But no. She went alone. They had to know the Academy would want their greatest creation back. He hated the fact that he wasn't there for her. He had visited her once while she and Loki were asleep. He thought he could take seeing her... but he saw her and remembered hearing her beg for death. He hadn't been back since.

He had been trying to figure out if there was anything he could do to help her remember. Maria on the other hand, kept telling him that she would remember things in time and didn't need someone there to baby her. She was fragile and it might be to much for her. Natasha was strong, she wouldn't break easily. But with what she went through... he could see that she could break easily. So he left her alone, waiting for her to come back to SHIELD... to him. He knew then that he had to talk with her. Because he realized something, Loki was the one always with her now... And he didn't like it.

Two weeks after Loki had shown up at her apartment, she was back at SHIELD with her memory fully back thanks to her prince. She remembered everything and made sure to avoid the room she was locked in for healing. Wrapping one of her hands around her other wrist and rubbing it she looked around her office taking a deep breath. "Normalcy. Finally."

Clint was the first one to greet her once she was back, wrapping his arms around her form. "Dammit Natasha," he muttered, pulling away from the hug. "Don't you ever scare us like that again!"

She returned his embrace and frowned. "I couldn't tell anyone. The Council ordered me not to. And you were scared?"

"I.." he cleared his throat, shaking his head. "More like worried." He rubbed the back of his neck. _Damn, Barton...hold yourself together_, he thought before saying. "Mind if I talk to you about something?"

She raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Sure..." She was confused by his actions and his demeanor.

Clint nodded, pulling her away from anyone that would hear them. "This...really isn't an easy thing to say," he began. There was a pause as he tried to think of how to word everything he wanted to tell her. "When I first saw you...I realized that there was something different about you, Nat..." He looked up at her, his eyes soft as he continued. "I saw that behind the assassin was an amazing woman...that's why I brought you back with me...and after everything the two of us have been through...I..." He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. "I love you Natasha...and it hurt so much to see how close you and Loki have gotten."

She listened to him and blinked not knowing quiet what to say. She had loved him, but... when she was told he was dead... she had buried those feelings and moved on as she did with Alexi years before. She looked into his eyes and felt the familiar feeling she had for him. Yes, she loved him. But Loki knew her like no other. Loki trusted her enough to tell her everything. She didn't know that much about Clint but to be fair he never knew that much about her. "Clint..."

"Tasha..." he whispered, eyes almost pleading "Please..." He feared that she was slipping away. The two assassins had been so close until Loki came...and he didn't want to lose her to him. He couldn't lose her to him. If it were anyone else… he might be able to accept it. But… it would still hurt.

She frowned and put her hands on his chest. "I am grateful to you for my life, for everything I have now. There was a time I returned your love. But... after I was told you were dead, I couldn't risk anything happening. So... I was forced to hide them." She looked into his eyes and continued, "You are the person who gave me this second chance. I will always be your friend, and your partner."

Clint felt his heart drop, hurt that she didn't return his feelings. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "We used to be so close, Natasha...and I feel that I am going to end up losing you," his voice was quiet, calm even. "Ever since **he** came here...we have been pulled apart." He knew that if he loved someone, than he had to let them go.

"Clint..." She looked up at him and frowned. "You pushed me away. I tried to get you to see that Loki was telling the truth and I **know** how you feel about him. I **know** what you went through. You're not going to lose me. You're not getting rid of me that easy Barton. You are still my friend and I have a promise to keep. I'm not telling a soul about the things you've told me. I don't care if they split us up. We're still going to see each other. You brought me here, and I'm never going to forget that. And I trust you. I don't trust many people."

Clint nodded softly, placing a friendly kiss to her forehead. "Even if he has changed...I'm still going to keep an eye on him," he said with a soft smirk. "And if he hurts you...I'll be the first in line to kick his ass."

Natasha smiled and nodded. "I figured you would be. But know this... you'll always be with me." She hugged him close smiling that she wasn't going to lose her partner... her friend. It would take some time for him to push his feelings for Natasha away, but he was happy that even this hadn't broken their friendship. "Welcome back to SHIELD, Natasha."

She smiled and nodded. "Thank you Clint. It means a lot to have you be the first one." She knew it would take time and she would give him how much he needed, but there was a part of her that was slightly saddened she didn't completely return his feelings. But her heart belonged to her prince and nothing would change it.

"A lot of people are waiting to see you again...you should go," he stated quietly, semi-crest fallen about her reply to his admission. She frowned a bit seeing his features and sighed. "There are only two people I care about, I've seen one. No one else matters as much to me as the two of you." She admitted to her partner.

Clint looked down at her and smiled. "Well still. You should go see the others." She sighed and walked out of the room, going and doing what was expected of her. Clint on the other hand, made his way to the shooting range. He needed to work off his emotions and the bow and arrow were the best way for him now.


	15. Midgard is in Peril?

Fury paced around a large conference room. He had called a meeting of all of SHIELD. He had gotten a communication, a threat from someone they had been expecting. Thanos. He waited for everyone to arrive and looked around. Natasha blinked and waited in the large room looking at the other Agents assembled in the room and got a little worried.

Loki had a feeling that it was Thanos, the same feeling of dread that he had when he had landed on the Chitauri's home world washed over him. It figured, having found himself a place that he fit in...now they were here to destroy it. He glanced over to see Barton and Hill entering the room

Natasha wanted to hold Loki's hand as Fury started to speak. "We have just been told a war is going to be waged on our planet. Unfortunately... we don't know where the avengers are because they are working their own things or are worlds away. We were told to bow down and return the Tesseract to them but we don't have it. They also want three of our agents along with the Avengers. Now this isn't something we're going to tolerate. We need to set up plans and start devising a way to win this war."

Loki felt his hand tighten around Natasha's feeling fear bubble up inside him, he had known this day was coming...he just didn't think it would be so soon. He glanced over when he heard one of the newer agents ask "Sir, what three agents do they want?"

Clint rolled his eyes at the obvious question "Who else? They want Agent Romanoff, Agent Odinson, and myself..." he was calm, they had taken these freaks down once before...they could do it again.

Natasha held Loki's hand and gently stroked the back of it with the pad of her thumb and raised an eyebrow at the question. "You would think we'd be a bit more recognized." Fury looked over at Clint and shook his head, "Agent Barton, this is a rookie."

Clint crossed his arms, muttering under his breath about how it still was a dumb question. Loki was silent, thinking for a moment...these agents would be slaughtered by the Chitauri, The Avengers had won because of the large green one. Without him, they would have failed. "The Avengers...you must be tracking them somehow," he said, speaking up. "The army that attacked last time...that wasn't even half of them..." He took a deep breath before finishing his statement. "Thanos will be expecting the Avengers...he will bring out the toughest of his army."

Fury looked over at Loki and sighed. "Unless you know how to get Thor here we're down one god. The others should be here in the city." He stated simply. Natasha looked at Loki and frowned a bit, gently squeezing his hand to reassure him she was there for him.

Loki nodded slightly. "Then get the others...Stark, Banner, Rogers..." He knew that there may be a small chance that he could get Thor down here, but that was only if Heimdall was watching. "Thanos will not quit unless either he or this world is destroyed."

Fury nodded in agreement and hid the small trace of a smile he had hearing the former villain turned agent speak up and technically take charge. Natasha frowned and looked up at Loki, "How many more does he have?"

"He has growing numbers" Loki replied "The... Leviathans," he started. "You mean those giant whale things?" Clint asked, only to get a nod in reply. "There may be hundreds more...as for the Chitauri soldiers...I am not sure...thousands at least."

Natasha frowned hearing the numbers. They hadn't dealt with more than four leviathans and hundreds of soldiers and they got themselves worked over. She sighed thinking how they could beat those odds. Fury couldn't help but crunch the numbers as well. He didn't like the odds. "How are they opening the portal if the Tesseract is in Asgard though?"

Loki shook his head as he answered, "That I do not know." He looked at the agents that had their eyes locked on him. He knew most of them still didn't trust him, and him telling them inside numbers didn't help.

Natasha stood close to Loki holding his hand. People may think she was insane for standing up with Loki, but he's the one who gave her, her mind back. The one who understood her best. Fury sighed. "This won't be easy. Hill, Barton, Go and get Rogers, Banner, and Stark. Romanoff, Odinson... work on finding Thor." Natasha nodded in acceptance of her mission.

Clint nodded. "Yes sir. Right away, sir."

"I'll do what I can, Director" Loki said calmly. Maria nodded accepting the assignment. Natasha nodded and looked at Loki. Fury looked at the four. "You four are dismissed."

Natasha and Maria walk out of the room and wait for their partners. Loki and Clint left, following their partners and they headed off. "I think I know of a way to get Thor here...it's a long shot, but there was a small chance that it just might work."

Natasha looked at Loki and nodded. "What is it? We have to try something."

"Well before the Bifrost was destroyed...it had a gatekeeper...known as Heimdall. He has the gift of all sight, he can see anyone anywhere. Hopefully he will hear my call and send Thor to help."

She nodded and looked at him. "Would they listen since you were cast out? If they don't I lose the respect I have for your brother and just can't believe your dad. I just hope they'll hear."

"They will...Midgard is under Thor's protection...he will come, if Heimdall hears" as they walked he thought "Is there anywhere away from the city...a large open space."

She nodded and looked at him concerned. "Yeah. Shall I get a car?" She asked. He nodded and walked out with Natasha. Once in the car they drove to an unoccupied area. He quickly got out of the car, and looked up at the sky, "Heimdall! Please listen...Midgard is in danger!"

He frowned and continued his gazing at the sky, waiting for something to happen. "As much as I hate to say it...I need my big brother down here for some help..." Nothing was happening, nothing at all. "Please..." He fell to his knees, kneeling. Yes, Loki was kneeling, something he would have never done but he was desperate. "Please..." he called out meekly. He was slightly broken and he needed help. Heimdall stood and watched over Loki as the All Father had asked of him. He had seen everything since he was banished and sent someone to go and get Thor.

Natasha wasn't sure if she should stay in the car or walk out and look up at the sky. She believed Loki, she just... couldn't fathom there was a way for Thor to get back here. She wasn't sure what was going on so she got out of the car, not yet coming over and looked up at the sky.

Loki sighed, standing up. "Well, I guess it didn't work," he muttered, slowly heading back to the car. "I guess we're one Avenger down."

Natasha blinked and looked around hearing something. She couldn't place where the sound came from until she looked at Loki. "How would Thor get here if it did work? What would happen?" He was about to answer when he heard a large crack of thunder, causing him to freeze, a small smile tugging at his lips, "That would happen."

Natasha smiled thinking "Thank you Heimdall, Thor, and Odin. I don't think he would have been able to come back after that." Thor landed to the ground in front of the car and looked at Loki. "Brother, it is good to see you." Natasha smiled and leaned against the car door watching the two.

"It is good to see you again as well, Brother," That had been the first time he had addressed him as his brother in a long time. "I just wish it was under better circumstances."

Thor walked to Loki with a slight frown. "Why did Heimdall tell me Midgard is in peril?" Natasha just stood and watched, letting the brothers reconnect and not interfering. Loki knew she was there and would let her know if she was needed.

"The Chitauri are planning to attack again...this time with all of their forces," he explained looking into his brother's face.

Thor raised an eyebrow and looked at Loki. "The Chitauri are dead brother. We finished them ourselves." Natasha waited to see if she was needed because she didn't want to step on Loki's moment to 'stand up' to his brother.

"Thor...that wasn't even half of Thanos' army," Loki replied calmly. "If you do not believe me, then ask Natasha."

He looked from Loki over to Natasha who he just noticed was there. "Agent Romanoff... is this true?" Natasha nods answering the question, "Director Fury got a threat from Thanos earlier today. He's got an army and he's not leaving until Earth or he is dead."

"Honestly Thor, you should learn to trust an agent of Shield" Loki said with a slight smirk, moving to stand next to Natasha, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Thor looked perplexed from the comment and the actions his brother had done. "When last I checked Brother, Agent Romanoff and you were in a mutual hatred. And I do trust her," He says expressing his confusion. Natasha simply smiled and leaned against Loki.

"Much has happened since we have last spoken brother...for starters I am now an agent of SHIELD," Loki smiled, clearly proud of his title. "And I don't think anything could make me hate Tasha..." He chuckled slightly at his brother's clueless look, "Thought the feelings we have are mutual."

Thor looked from Loki to Natasha and smiled. "So you have become an agent of SHIELD? Congratulations brother." He only truly understood that he and Natasha were coworkers. Natasha smiled and kissed Loki quickly. "We should head back and let Fury fill your brother in," She looked at Thor who seemed shocked she had just kissed his brother and she grinned impishly.

Loki smiled at the kiss and nodded, watching her get into the car before looking back at his brother. "You seemed surprised, Thor." He shook his head slightly before continuing, "Director Fury will fill you in once we get back to headquarters." He then moved, getting into the passenger seat.

She sat in the car and couldn't wipe the impish grin from her face. Thor looked at the car and climbed in the back seat. Natasha drove off back to Headquarters and held Loki's hand as she drove. Thor looked at Loki. "I am merely surprised that it is the two of you. You could have any person you wanted Brother and it just seems you chose your former enemy." Natasha looked at the blonde Asgardian in the back seat. "I did the same thing. Your brother is a wonderful man, a wonderful gentleman. You should be honored to call him your brother." Thor nodded. "I am. I am just sorry that he cannot come home."

Loki looked back at his brother. "You and I both know I never fit in on Asgard," he said calmly. "I believe I will call Midgard my true home." He gave him a slight smile at the words coming from him, thinking that Natasha was one of the reasons for the choice. "As for why I picked Natasha...she was the first person who truly gave me a chance...and I realize we are not all that different."

Thor looked at his brother whom he had not seen so happy and at ease before. "How is it that you are not all that different?" he asked wanting to know about their relationship and more about the people close to him. Natasha drove and smiled. "Sorry Thor, you're not getting that answer from me. I lived through those things enough this time around." She chuckled a bit making a jest at the serious thing that would bring her down.

Loki shook his head at his brother's query. "Let us just leave it at that, Brother," he said calmly and quietly. Thor nodded and looked out the window as the entered the city. Natasha pulled up to headquarters and smiled getting out. Thor stepped out of the car and looked around seeing the previous damage still being worked on in places.

Loki slid out of the car, stretching. He wondered if Hill and Barton managed to get the rest of the avengers this easy...that then brought the thought of him once again being attacked by the group of three. He just hoped that Banner didn't turn into the large angry green one. Natasha walked into the building with Thor following behind her. She walked up to Fury and waited to be addressed. "What is it Agent Romanoff?" Fury asked, pausing his discussion. "We got Thor." She said simply motioning behind her to the god of thunder walking in.

Clint came in behind them with Steve and Bruce. "I managed to get these two, but Agent Hill is still trying to convince Stark to get his tin ass over here," he said calmly, glancing back at the two men. Bruce seemingly looked around and not making eye contact and Steve looking at Loki who was with Natasha "Is that...Loki?" he asked.

Thor looked at the three men who entered the room and smiled. "My friends!" He said happily. He hadn't known them long or well but they had fought together and in his mind, they were his friends. Natasha looked at Steve hearing him. "Yes. it is."

Steve looked towards the demi-god and smiled. "Good to see you again, Thor!" He said nodding to the Asgardian. Bruce tensed at the name Loki and he found his eyes wondering towards the once god of lies that was now turned towards the group. "I…don't think the other guy will like this..." he warned quietly.

Natasha looked at Bruce and nodded. "It's understandable, but He's an ally now." Thor nodded and stood near his brother putting a hand on Loki's shoulder. "My brother has seen his wrongs and wishes to fix them I will gather." Natasha smiled listening to Thor's explanation.

"Both Natasha and my brother are right. I have done some things in the past that I am not proud of...and I wish to try and make up for them" Loki said calmly, frowning slightly as Steve looked him up and down. "Just expect us to keep an eye on you," the soldier cautioned the former deity.

Natasha nodded to his reply and couldn't resist the opening. "That's my job Captain," she said with a hint of a smile on her lips. Only a few people in the room would know the underlying meaning. Thor smiled and chuckled a bit at the remark. Loki looked down at her and smiled slightly.

Natasha mostly kept a straight face besides the slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.  
Maria walked into the room with Stark following behind her. "Well, this seems like a good old reunion doesn't it?" He said looking at the group before him.

Steve looked over at him. "Stark..." he said calmly, arms crossing, "I see you took time out of your busy schedule to help us out."

"Can we please not start this again? Obviously SHIELD wouldn't have called us unless we were needed..." Bruce said, running a hand through his hair, worried that any tension could bring out the other guy.

Clint nodded at the statement. "Director Fury will fill you in...right this way" he said, motioning for the Avengers to follow.

Tony smirked looking at Steve. "Well where would you all be without me huh?" He looked around and saw Natasha next to Loki. "Oh My... What are we doing here? Don't we already have the cause of the problem? And let me guess... Agent Widow is your babysitter." Natasha sighed and shook her head. "Stark. You'll be informed in the room. Now I suggest you all head in." Thor walked after Clint and looked over his shoulder. "We are needed in here Man of Iron." Natasha looked up at Thor remembering he didn't adapt as well as her Loki did.

Steve looked back at Tony and glared at him before following after Clint. Bruce looked at Tony, shaking his head slightly. "Come on...I'm sure they will tell us why Loki is really here," he stated. And with that being said, he followed after Thor.

Tony followed after Bruce into the room. Natasha wasn't sure if they needed to be there since they had heard everything already. Sighing quietly she looked around the facility.

Loki sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I have a bad feeling, Tasha," He muttered quietly, having had this feeling as soon as he heard Thanos had his army on its way. She looked at him with confusion and a small bit of worry in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"About all of this..." He looked down at her frowning, "I'm not sure what...but it has been...bugging me ever since that meeting..."

She frowned and held his hand. "No matter what, I'll be there for you. Right beside you," She said looking into his emerald eyes. Loki looked down at her, smiling softly. That was what he was afraid of, that he would be the reason she would get hurt. He nodded softly then, knowing he should say something. "And I will always be right beside you."

Natasha smiled up at him noticing something in his eyes but not wanting to bring it up. She had promised him, that she would stay safe if he told her it would be dangerous. She had promised she would listen to his judgment and do as he said... even if it meant her sitting out of a fight.


	16. You Did It To Me Too!

**A/N: OK Readers! For this... you must do something for us. Well... it's two somethings. 1) Open a new tab, go to youtube and after .com add... /watch?v=_nH1rCXv36A This sets the mood for this chapter. Just listen to it on repeat as you read. 2) Comment on this after you read it and tell us the feels. **

**That is all. I hope you accept your mission. **

It was a mess, buildings being destroyed, people being killed. Was this the way it had been when he attacked? No...he couldn't think like that...not now. He reached for another throwing knife, frowning when he found that he was out. He shook his head, grabbing one of the Chitauri's weapons and using it against them. He made sure to stick close to Natasha during the battle, not wanting her to get hurt.

Natasha fired her weapons, holstering them when she had any in close combat. Her shots were clean and through the heart or any other kill zone. Granted she wasn't perfect and got a few cuts from their weapons, but she hadn't fallen once. She stayed with Loki, working as a team when they encountered any of the Chitauri. Looking up as soon as hers were dead and she only saw more. She was beginning to be exhausted and crest fallen. No matter what they did, they kept coming.

Loki looked towards Natasha, seeing a Chitauri warrior about to strike. His eyes went wide and ran towards her, shoving her out of the way. The next few moments went in slow motion for him. He saw Natasha falling to the ground, fighting going on around him. Suddenly he felt a white hot pain shoot through his stomach, causing him to give a quiet grunt of pain. His eyes trailed down to his stomach to see the Chitauri's hand wrapped around the hilt of a dagger, twisting it before pulling it out. He gasped in pain, stumbling back, falling to the ground.

She fell to the ground and slid a bit wincing at the pain. She immediately pulled her sidearm and shot the Chitauri looking over to see Loki on the ground. Making her way to him, she looked down into his face. "Why?" Was all she could ask through the numbness of her mind seeing him in this state.

He was shaking, pain shooting through his whole body. Placing a shaky hand over the wound, trying to put pressure on it he managed out, "I...M-Made a promise that I wouldn't let you get hurt...didn't I?"

She put her hand over his applying pressure blinking back the tears that wanted to flood her eyes. "You'll be alright. I'm not leaving you. You better not leave me." She couldn't take another person she cared for die around her, even though the first two never really died, she had still mourned, and suffered a broken heart.

Loki growled in pain, letting a shaky breath escape his lips. He looked up at her, seeing the tears in her eyes. "You...s-shouldn't let your mask lip, love," he said quietly, tears leaking from his own eyes.

She didn't care, not right now. "If anything, they'll believe me worrying over my Partner," She said, gently wiping his tears away with the pad of her thumb. "Just stay with me. Keep talking to me. The way we did when I found you."

He gently placed a shaky hand on her cheek. "I never thought I would f-find someone such as you, My Little Spider," he said, voice cracking slightly. Was this how it was going to end for him? He didn't want to leave...he didn't want to be taken away from Natasha. "You...You know...that no matter what, I will never leave you..."

She looked at him and shook her head, tears threatening to fall of her eyes. "Don't say that. Don't. I never thought I'd find someone who knew. Someone who could understand everything. I never knew that someone would actually teach me something other than new ways to fight. I never knew someone could let me open up without running away. You're my prince, and I swore I'd do what you asked of me..."

He began struggling to keep his eyes open as he took weak hollow breaths. He knew he wouldn't make it, he knew he was going to die, it was just a matter of time "Then...p-promise me something, my princess..." There was a pause as he struggled to find the words that were hidden in the fog clouding his head. "P...Promise me...that you won't...cl-close yourself off...you h-have people that care a-about you Tasha..." He forced his eyes back open, wanting just a little longer with her.

She nodded, "I-I promise," she said, voice thick with the unshed tears. She held his hand and rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you." She whispered in his ear.

"I...I Love you too, Natasha...and I w-will never stop" He managed to focus enough to see Clint running towards them "You...T-Take care of her Barton..." he said weakly, only to get a slight nod. He looked back towards Natasha "I...F-Fear were I will g-go after this" he muttered, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. He had done so much bad in his life and he hadn't had time to wipe the red out.

Natasha looked at him trying to hold back the tears. "But you helped so many right now. I hope... that you're given the rights of every warrior." She had read up on his home and their beliefs so she could know more about him. She knew warriors were taken by the Valkyrie to Valhalla should they be worthy and she hoped he would be. He would die saving her. She let a single tear fall down her face as she stayed with him. She couldn't leave him. She couldn't.

Loki nodded weakly "Wh...Where ever I go...I will be watching you, I will protect you e...even when I am...no longer on...this mortal world" his hand slipped from her cheek as his eyes fluttered closed "I... Love...Y-You...N-atas-ha." One last breath escaped his lips as he let the darkness overwhelm him, too tired to fight any longer.

Clint watched the scene, with a frown etched on his face. "Tasha..." he muttered, kneeling next to her. Thankfully they had a bit of a break until the next wave broke through.

Natasha turned to Clint and wrapped her arms around his shoulders doing something she had never done in front of him... cry. Tears streamed from her eyes and sobs racked through her. She had never had to see someone she love die before. And this time... it was her fault. If she would have been paying attention, he would still be here with her.

Clint wrapped one arm around her and placed his free hand to his com, "Loki is...down..." He didn't want to say dead, though the tone was there. He was angry at himself...for Loki truly had changed, he was just too foolish to say it. He looked at the body and muttered, "Thank you..." before wrapping his arms tightly around Natasha.

Steve hadn't known the real Loki for too long, but...it hurt to lose a part of the team, someone who had fought to protect the Earth. Thor froze hearing Clint's voice tell the news. His brother was hurt... or worse. He hung his head and hoped that with what Loki had done he would be worthy to see Valhalla for he thought his brother should be honored in such a way. Tony heard the news but didn't believe it. There was a time he'd be cracking a joke and congratulating the person who took him down. But throughout this fight... he had seen Loki's changed behavior and he felt a pang of sadness at losing a teammate.

Maria gasped hearing Clint's voice through the coms. She looked around wondering where they were. A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye knowing that they had lost a teammate and that someone's heart had broken. Fury sighed hearing the news. He looked up at the sky and didn't regret a thing. He knew that Loki had died fighting with him, trying to right the wrongs he did. He just hoped it would be enough to save him.

Natasha wept into Clint's shoulder the pain in her heart overbearing the pain in her body. Everything else was numb. Clint closed his eyes, gently rocking her "It's going to be ok, Nat...he is at peace now." He hated seeing Natasha crying like this. In all his years of working with her...he had never seen her break down, no matter what hell they went through.

She shook her head tears still running from her eyes. "It's my fault. I wasn't aware of everything." She was tempted to run. Run from everything. She lost the only person who truly understood her. She lost her friend, and the person she trusted with everything. Her heart had broken in two. This was the third time she had gone through this. And she couldn't take a fourth. She knew that. She couldn't bring herself to turn around, to look at him. Because she was afraid to break her promise.

There was a sudden shift in the air as the sky above them became dark and the air grew cold. Clint didn't know why, but he felt as though he should get Natasha and himself out of the way. Quickly he scooped her up in his arms and moved back a few feet as he did this a whirl wind of air and what seemed to be snow rushed around Loki. The snow made it so they couldn't see through the vortex of air. When the wind died down, there Loki stood, dressed in his Asgardian armor, minus the helmet, all the wounds he had gotten healed. He was back, as were his powers.

Natasha looked up at Clint panicked by him picking her up and she turned her head around to see standing there, in all his glory, was Loki. Her breath caught in her chest seeing him standing there and a smile plastered itself on her face.

Clint turned around and felt a slight smirk tug at his lips as he slowly set Natasha down, placing his hand to his com informing the team, "Scratch that...it looks like Loki is back full force!"

Steve felt a small smile tug at his lips, glad that the man was ok. Thor smiled hearing his brother had returned and that Odin has restored his birthright. Tony actually gave a small smirk nodding, a quip running rampant in his head. Maria smiled and sighed in relief. Things were right and now with two gods... they could win this. Fury smirked and nodded. Of course he couldn't die. He did have a bit too much pride for that... like Tony.

Loki smiled softly as he walked towards Natasha, "Didn't I say I would never leave your side?"

Natasha looked up at him with her eyes narrowed, shook her head, and was shoved him back with tears running down her face. "Dammit Odinson you did it to me, too!" she said angrily through her tears. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. "I'm sorry...but I couldn't let you get hurt..." he whispered, dipping down to give her a soft peck on the lips. "Can you forgive me?"

She sighed and looked up at him into his eyes. "Maybe... after dinner and dancing then we'll see." She said with a straight face and a flat tone.

Loki felt a soft smile tug at his lips and he nodded softly. "It's a date," he replied before kissing her again. Clint rolled his eyes. "That's very nice and all, but we have more Chitauri in coming," he said blandly, thumbing over his shoulder. Natasha nodded and looked around. "Looks like you got everything back just in time. We need it."  
Seeing the next wave of the Chitauri warriors the Avengers and agents of SHIELD readied themselves again. They fought the onslaught of alien species that wanted to take the planet. With the help of two gods the fight was now a bit easier. After hours of intense battle and many places destroyed, New York was finally safe... for the time being. The Avengers stood around and looked at their handy work. They would most likely be insulted and praised for this act, but they knew they saved a city. And that was all that mattered.

Loki smiled, liking the feeling of being the one to save the city and not destroy it. He wrapped his arm around Natasha's waist, pulling her close to him. "We did it, love..." he stated looking down at her. She looked up at him and nodded. "Yes. We did. And we couldn't have done it without you."

Loki pulled her into a kiss, not caring if anyone saw. After a moment he slowly pulled back "And I couldn't have done anything without you" he whispered softly "You have shown me so much."

She returned his kiss and looked into his eyes, smiling gently. "I only showed you the person you were all along." Loki caressed her cheek with his thumb. "No...you have made me a better man than I have ever been...you saved me Tasha...in more ways than one."

She smiled and placed her hand over his. "And you saved me."

"When Thor leaves to go back to Asgard," he began, looking down at her with his emerald eyes meeting hers. "I am staying on Midgard...with the woman I love. You are my home."

She smiled and blushed. "As you are mine." She looked up at him being unable to picture herself with anyone else. Gently he brushed some hair from her face, smiling. "Perhaps we should go and see if everyone else is alright," he offered with a smile on his face.

She nodded and looked around for the others. "We should go see them all." Loki nodded softly, wrapping his arm around her as they began to walk. She smiled and walked with him happy that he hadn't left her alone after all.

As they walked, Loki was deep in thought. He was immortal now...and Natasha...all of his friends...they were not. His brows furrowed, he would just have to search for a way to fix that. Natasha knew what came with loving an immortal. He would stay looking at he did now, she would grow old and eventually fade. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness knowing they couldn't be together for all time, but she knew she'd enjoy the time they had together. Loki kept her close to him as they walked, he knew that she must be thinking the same thing. Natasha smiled and wrapped her arm around him looking around at everything. "Well... looks like we'll need to rebuild... again." She walked with Loki and found the others. Tony looked at the pair and smirked. "Well Reindeer Games, glad you played on the right side this time."

Loki chuckled softly, shaking his head. "As am I, Stark," he stated cordially as he held out his hand. "No hard feelings about me throwing you out of your tower?"

Stark shrugs, "You kinda became a part of it with your imprint in the floor for a while and I can always fix things."

Loki nodded slightly."I must admit, Stark...your devices are...quite amazing."

Tony smirked and nodded, "They came from me what did you expect? Walmart quality?"

Steve raised an eyebrow "So...Natasha and Loki are together?" Maria looked at Steve and shook her head. "They're just good friends. She thought she lost him for a bit." Steve looked at Natasha and Loki, eyebrow raised. "Ok..." Maria nodded and smiled at the pair, happy that they had people to trust and love.


	17. Beauty and the Beast

Maria was starting to get used to the way Clint would do things after the months they were being partnered together after the second Chitauri invasion. She didn't know everything yet but the more missions they were sent out on together, the more she learned. She didn't know why Natasha wasn't with him for this but, She didn't really mind. She walked through the streets of a Serbian town, looking for her target when she felt something off.

Loki...or what was once Loki had been following the two S.H.I.E.L.D agents, staying high on the walls to keep out of sight, letting out a quiet growl every now and then. They were the only people out at this time of night, and he wanted nothing more than to rip them apart.

Clint had been tense the whole time they had been walking. They had gotten information on something attacking the people of the small town, though not killing them, as if something made it stop. "I think we are being followed," he stated looking around as they walked. Maria nodded and looked around as well. "I have that same feeling. And I don't like it."

Loki stopped once they did, to him it seemed like they had let their guard down, and that was his cue. With a hiss he jumped down from the wall, landing on top of Clint, knocking him to the ground. Quickly he turned to Maria, ready to strike with his sharp claws.

Maria looked at the thing that attacked her partner and pulled her weapon. She fired a few shots trying to immobilize it, but missing. "I don't suppose you have a tranquilizer arrow do you?" She asked Clint keeping her eyes on her assailant.

Loki hissed, feeling a bullet graze him. This kept his attention on her. He leaped then, digging his claws into her arm. He would have done more damage if Clint hadn't shot him in the back with an arrow "Way ahead of you Maria," he said with a smirk, backing up as the creature came towards him. Loki stumbled slightly as the drug started to numb his body. He raised his arm up to attack only to fall flat on his face as the drug knocked him out. "Looks like we found what we have been looking for," Clint said calmly, looking over at her. "You alright?" he asked with concern in his voice.

She looked at her arm and frowned. "I'll be fine. But... Just. I guess we did." Clint nodded curtly, lifting the upper body of the Chitauri. "Wonder how it got here?" He mused looking the creature over.

"I have no idea," She said looking at the Chitauri. "Hmmm. We should take it back." Clint nodded shortly and radioed in their coordinates for an air lift.

The trip back had been a quick one, Clint having been keeping the creature asleep. Once there however, he put him in a containment cell. He made sure it was secure before reporting to fury.

Maria had her arm bandaged and sighed. Something seemed off but she couldn't tell what it was. That creature should have killed her, but it didn't. Fury was doing paperwork and waited for a report from Maria and Clint.

Clint knocked before entering "Director. We found what had been attacking those people," He began his report. "It was a Chitauri...though it seems different."

Fury looked up and stood up from his desk. "Chitauri? Here? We finished off the last. Where is it and what happened?"

"It's in a containment cell on level 3," Clint replied. "It attacked us, though it didn't try and kill us...and it has these odd markings on it."

Fury nodded and started towards the door. "Why didn't it try?"

"I do not know," Clint admitted. "Sir...it could have killed us without much trouble."

Loki looked up when he heard someone coming, growling darkly when he saw Clint. He stood, glaring at him and Fury.

Fury looked at the creature and had no idea it was Loki before him. He just saw a very strange looking Chitauri creature in his base of operations. "You're right. Really strange markings. Maybe it's a different rank if they have that in their system."

"That could be it, Sir...though that doesn't answer why it didn't kill us," he replied, watching calmly as the creature leapt at the unbreakable glass. He didn't see the sheer panic in the creatures eyes, panic that was caused by the memories Loki had about being in a cell like this.

Fury shrugged his shoulders not even really looking at the creature. "I don't know. I would say bring in our closer but I don't think even She could get anything out of this one."

"Who knows...maybe these things can speak English...the just don't like to," he supplied before he crossed his arms. "We should give it a try." Loki watched them leave and huffed darkly, taking a seat on the floor in the corner. He growled quietly when someone else entered.

Natasha had been pulled away from her training and ushered up to the containment cell. Inside she saw the reptile-esque creature and stepped close to the glass. She knew it couldn't break through so she had no reason to fear. She looked it over and watched it almost pace around the cell. "You seem bored, and irritated," She said simply, seeing if it would respond to her.

Loki looked up at her, emerald eyes becoming soft when he looked at her. He knew her..."Natasha!" he spoke, though it only came out as clicks and hisses. She blinked and seemed to get an answer, but not one in a language she knew. There was something about this captive that seemed familiar. Something about this entire set up, but she couldn't tell. "Do you... understand me?" She asked looking at him.

"Ye...s" he managed to force out, though his voice was deeper, more animal like. He slowly took a step closer to her, tilting his head slightly.

She smiled and stood where she was, not backing away as it came closer. "How about I ask you yes or no questions? Nod your head in reply since you can't speak English." She offered a compromise. "Do you know why you're here?"

Loki sat down in front of the glass. Slowly he nodded when she asked if she could use yes or no questions. He nodded again when she asked if he knew why he was here

She nodded. "Alright. Were you here to kill the two agents who brought you here?"

Loki's eyes went wide and he quickly shook his head. "N..o...want...hu..rt..."

She nodded and held her hands up. "It's ok. I'm not going to blame you. Are you looking for something?" She was asking general questions she thought would help her narrow down why it was here.

Was he looking for something? He closed his eyes, thinking for a moment. That was it! He was searching for immortality...for her. He slowly nodded, opening his eyes and locking gazes with her.

She blinked and looked into his eyes leaning against the glass. She looked over the whole face seeing the markings but not being able to make them out she backed away and looked at the agents near the controls. "Let me in there," She ordered. "But Agent Romanoff. It could kill you!" The technician said. "Unless you want to be fired, open the door." She replied firmly standing in front of the entrance. The tech did as they were told and Natasha slipped inside looking at the creature.

Loki quickly backed away when the doors opened, thinking she was coming in to harm him. Though she didn't seem to want to hurt him, but he couldn't tell really. "No...h-urt?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "No. I won't hurt you. I don't have anything to hurt you." She was lying a bit, her hands were still a good weapon. But she stood still seeing if he'd come to her, letting him know she wasn't going to hurt him.

Loki slowly stood, walking over to her. He was confused, did she know it was him? Or was he just being too hopeful. He looked at her, now towering a good too feet above her, having towered a foot above her in his normal form.

She craned her head backward to see him. "You're tall... Taller than the person in my life who at the moment decided they would go somewhere and not tell me where. But anyway... Do you know why you're here in this place?" She pushed her thoughts away from Loki at the moment knowing it was his choice to go or stay. He was a god after all. He had "duties" to attend to.

Loki's eyes softened as she spoke about him, gently running his scaly fingers over her face, careful not to harm her with his claws. He then pulled his hand back and nodded "Harmed...hu...mans" he muttered quietly, taking a seat on the ground once again.

She blinked at his touch confused but feeling something oddly familiar. "Yes. But you didn't kill any of them. You are here to be looked over." She looked over him and stepped closer, reaching out a hand gingerly to trace the markings on his body. Why were these lines so familiar!? Why was that pattern so frozen into her mind?

Loki let out a quiet purr like noise as she traced the patterns, her touch calming him slightly as he closed his eyes. "Why...watch over?" he managed out looking at her confused.

"You are the first of your kind to not kill. We'd like to know why," She said continuing to trace the patterns relaxing along with him. "So you like this do you?" She asked not stopping her tracing.

Loki nodded softly, continuing to purr. "Feels...nice" he said quietly. He paused for a moment "Don't li-ke hurting p..people..."

She nodded and smiled. "You sound like someone I know. He's honestly one of the best people I know. We started out as enemies, and come to find out, we weren't really different," she said looking into his eyes and seeing a familiarity.

Loki looked back at her, placing his hand on her cheek. "Can't...help...it...jus-t happens… Want...st...stop," he muttered hoping that she would realize it's him.

She nodded and her eyes widened as her mind flashed through images of the night she met him in the alley, Him turning before her, him showing her again as she tried to regain her memory. The patterns... They reminded her of Loki's Jotun patterns! "You... you have something familiar," She said taking her hand away from tracing the patterns.

Loki stopped purring, shaking his head to clear it, his black hair swaying at its movement. She was figuring it out! He focused on her, managing to force out her name "Na...Natash..a." He looked at her with his emerald eyes, praying that she knew it was him.

She blinked and looked into his eyes. "L-Loki? I-Is it you?" She saw the familiar emerald color and the markings were of his form he hid, the one he trusted her enough with to show her. "Please... tell me it is."

Loki nodded, eyes full of sadness that he had become this creature. "I...Lo..ki," he said quietly. "Me...monster" he reached up and ran one clawed finger lightly across her cheek.

She shook her head frowning and taking the finger in her hand. "I told you... I've been around monsters all my life. You're the farthest thing I've seen from a monster."

Loki looked down at himself, giving a sad, quiet coo. "What if...I st-uck like t..this?" he looked back up at her. Gently he pulled her down onto his lap and gently nuzzled her cheek.

She stayed close to him and put her hand on his chest. "We're looking for a way to get you back. You won't be stuck like this. And... if you are... I'll still be with you," She replied comforting him. She knew that if anyone watched movies, they might see a semblance to "Beauty and the Beast" in their relationship now. She knew that under this exterior, the prince she loved was there.

Loki closed his eyes at her touch, feeling the warmth spread through his scaly skin. Gently he placed his hand on her back, holding her close to him. He wondered how she could stand being near him when he looked like this. She should be repulsed and running away. But she wasn't. She stayed here with him, touching him.

She stayed close to him and couldn't help but wonder if he would be stuck like this. She loved him, not for what he looked like, but for him. She wanted to be with him... But she was afraid of what would happen. People would say... **have** said that she loves a monster. She wouldn't love anyone else but him.

Loki was at ease, his mind completely his own at the moment. That was until Clint and Fury came into view. He pushed Natasha off of him, standing to his full height as he growled darkly. Clint had come running as soon as the agent handling the control reported Natasha entering the creature's cell. "Tasha?" He called out concerned.

Loki had pushed her a bit hard and she hit the door sliding down the surface with a grunt of pain and from losing her breath. Fury watched and glared at Loki. "Romanoff what the **Hell** are you doing!?" He asked. Natasha stood up and looked at the Director and her partner, clutching her torso. "I-It's Loki," She coughed.

"Natasha, I know you miss him, but that's not Loki! You were sent in here to get information out of it, not befriend it!" Clint growled at the redhead. Loki swiped at the glass, a loud SCREEEECH sound echoing through the cell.

Natasha ducked and looked at Clint. "Don't you think I'd **know** if it was him!? Play back the tapes and watch!" She ordered, the steel in her spine hardening hearing him talk to her like she was stupid and incompetent to her orders. Fury sighed and walked over to look at the tapes. Looking at the monitor Fury didn't see anything to back up her statements. "Romanoff... I think you-"

"Don't tell me I need 'Time Off' Fury," She said coldly. "I'm capable of doing my job. And you heard the information I got."

Loki growled darkly, his breathing heavy. He was about to attack the glass again, only to see Clint aim an arrow at him. Loki didn't know if it could go through and hurt him, so he slowly backed away "Foolish...hu..man" he growled. "Once...I… get… fr-ee, I will...rip..y-you apart."

Natasha looked back at Loki hearing these things. She frowned and started to second guess herself. Maybe she **did** need time away. She had compromised herself by falling in love with a god... now she was paying the price. Fury watched the exchange and felt something familiar about the situation. "How do you know he's Loki Romanoff?" She looked at Fury and frowned. "H-His eyes Sir. And these markings."

"What about the markings, Tasha? Loki didn't have these markings..." Clint lowered his bow, seeing the creature seeming to calm down. Loki slowly backed up, hearing the words coming from his mouth. He looked down at Natasha, eyes becoming soft as he gave a quiet whimper.

Natasha looked at Loki and frowned. She didn't want to tell them about his secret. "I just... It's not my secret to share. And you know how I feel about that." Fury sighed. "Who can tell us? Thor?" Natasha shrugged. "I don't know..."

Loki huffed quietly, taking a seat on the floor again. "I...Loki..." he muttered, not taking his eyes off of Natasha in fear that he would lose control again.

Fury watched the creature in the cell before asking, "If you are... how can we be sure?" Natasha looked at Loki, "What did you tell Agent Barton to do before you... died for me?" She asked quickly, knowing she would have someone there to affirm the answer.

Loki closed his eyes, digging for the memory "Told him… to...t..take care...of y-you" he said quietly. Clint blinked, looking at the Chitauri "That's...That's right..."

She smiled and nodded. "Yes." Fury blinked and looked at Clint. "You're telling me... that's what happened?"

Clint nodded "He answered correctly..." he looked at Fury for a moment before looking back at the creature. "What was your cover name when we went to look for Natasha?"

"W...William...R-Rad..cliff," he answered simply.

Natasha nodded, wincing at the memory. Fury blinked and raised his eyebrow. "From both of those... I can't believe that. Loki... You're... How?"

"The...Other" Loki growled quietly.

"The Other what?" Clint asked with a frown

Natasha blinked. That name sounded familiar too. Fury raised an eyebrow and looked at Loki. "The one who you visited while you were controlled?" He asked remembering his explanation when he came into SHIELD to turn himself in.

Loki nodded in reply to the question. "Is...punishment for...failing Thanos."

Natasha frowned. Fury sighed and hung his head. "So you're telling me... the Chitauri we fought... were innocent people?"

Loki nodded slightly. He still struggled with his speech, trying to articulate everything for them to follow. "They were once...they are kept away from...anything that can bring memories back to them until their transformation is com...The Other sent me here in hope that I would be captured by SHIELD and killed by my allies."

Fury sighed. "So they want you dead?" he asked the god. Natasha frowned hearing that and looked at Loki.

Loki nodded again. "If you failed to kill me...I would be stuck like this."

Natasha frowned more. "There's no way to change you back?" Fury asked looking at the Chitauri.

"I do not know Director" he said, looking back up at the two men outside the glass. "I fear that I may be stuck in this form."

Natasha looked at Loki and sighed. "We'll find some way to free you," she said comfortingly. Fury nodded. "There aren't many who can stand Agent Romanoff for long as their partner. The two who can are in this room. We need you back."

Once Fury and Clint left, Loki curled up on the hard floor and huffed quietly. "It's getting late...you should go and get some sleep."

"You know I don't like sleeping," she said quietly. She knelt down and put her hand on his face whispering, "And I don't want to leave you alone."

Loki looked up at her, purring slightly. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him "I'll be here...sleep," he cooed.

She smiled slightly and laid with him. She covered a yawn and curled into his scaly chest, not caring that he wasn't the human she stayed with after the gala the first time. She only cared that her love was here, that he was with her again.

Slowly he began to drift off to sleep. As he slept dreams...more like memories came back to him.


	18. That would be his Partner's Job

Loki had been searching for immortality for Natasha -and for anyone who wants it- when he found himself on the Chitauri's home planet, it seemed empty, perhaps The Other and Thanos had moved on from this wasteland. With a deep breath he pushed on, ignoring his fear

The Other had been watching Loki, he had said there was no realm where the god could hide from them. And he needed to pay for failing Thanos. He knew just the thing. It was what he did with everything that failed him. Loki had felt someone following him, with one quick movement he spun around, sending a throwing knife towards whatever had been stalking him "Show yourself...you coward."

"The only coward I see is you, Prince of Asgard," The Other called out. He slinked against the rocks staying out of the god's sight.

His breath caught in his throat, though he didn't let himself show fear. "So you didn't scurry back into the dark hole where you came from...I thought you would once the Chitauri were defeated."

"There are many more where they came from. Perhaps you would like to see for yourself," He stated, still staying out of sight.

"Funny how I don't see any of the vile creatures running around," he growled, eyes narrowing as he scanned for The Other.

"They have not been called for," He said lurking in the shadows making his way towards Loki. "Why did you return?"

"I do not see how that is any of your business," he stated calmly, readying a spell to protect himself.

"Seeing as how you're back on my planet... I believe it is." He knew he had to keep the god talking so he wouldn't notice his coming. He had to distract the god, lower his defenses so his plan could work.

"I was sent to see if any more worthless chitauri's are alive...and it seems that there are," he lied smoothly.

"Ah, yet you are here for something else I believe... for someone who matters to you. You forget that we know where you hide," The Other goaded. He knew there was an alternate purpose. He knew everything. Loki's hands curled into fists. "I am but using them...they mean nothing to me," he lied with ease.

"Then why is it you failed to deliver the Tesseract to us?"

Loki growled darkly. "Because I do not work with creatures such as you" he stated, taking a shaky breath.

"Yet you took what we gave you. And we gave you power, what you craved most. You turned on us for what? A cell? You have no power now." The Other stated, walking nearer to Loki, still in hiding.

"I never wanted the power you gave...I had enough power! I never wanted to give my mind over to you!"

"And yet, here you stand. It seems you are the one who craves subjugation," He hissed. He stood waiting for the right moment. The device in his hand would open up and align with Loki's spine, taping in and administering a dose of a toxin of sorts.

"I do not fear you, Other," he said calmly. "You are weak...you would not know what to do if Thanos wasn't pulling your strings!"

He glared and knew he could act. "I promised that you would wish that pain was the worst thing you had to deal with from us. Now, I shall give it to you." He acted quickly, placing the device on Loki's back watching it go about its work. "Now you will know how we attained so many in such a short time."

Loki spun around, about to attack him when he felt something burrowing into his back, quickly he scrambled to pull it out, but it was too late. For a short moment there was no pain, not until he felt a sharp pain shoot down his spine, causing him to let out a muffled cry, falling to his hands and knees. This pain was new. "What...What is thi-" he cried out again.

The Other laughed darkly. "It is how we get our Chitauri. This will make it so you live and suffer the same fate they did. You shall be murdered... at the hands of the people you call ally."

That's why it hurt so much...his entire DNA was being rewritten. "The Chitauri...are not really a race then..." he mused. "They are a parasite!" He glared up at him, his eyes already snake like. "And what it they fail to kill me? What if they know who I really am?"

"They will never find out that this is the cause. They will never know this is what ails you. There will be no reversal. You shall remain, a servant."

His arms gave out and he was left writhing on the ground, his mind shifting in and out between being a mindless servant to the other and reminding him that he was an agent for the side of light now. "N-No...I am...not...going to serve you!"

"You have no choice! You have no mind of your own just as you had nothing while you had the scepter! You are ours to control!"

He had to focus...on anything that would keep him from losing his mind. He found his thoughts going towards Natasha...he needed to fight...for her. "No!" He growled, pushing himself off the ground "I will never...give up...not this easy!" He wasn't sure how far along in his shift, but he...felt taller.

The Other watched Loki change into the creature he had fought and would have lead. "You will have no choice. Once everything is complete you will have no will of your own. Only the will of those above you."

He tried to speak, though it only came out as a dark snarl. His eyes narrowed and he raised his arm, raking his claws over the Other's chest. He would not be ruled by such a weak being.

The Other yelled as Loki Rebelled against him. "You will Never attack me again you heathen!" Loki hissed, eyes narrowing, moving to attack again. He was stopped by another surge of pain, finishing his transformation. The Other smirked and watched as Loki was completely changed. "Now let's see how your ally's treat you in such a form."

Loki jolted awake, removing his arms from around Natasha and standing, frantically clawing at his back, ripping into his skin. He gave angry roars and growls as dark, almost black, crimson blood pulled onto the white floor.

Natasha jolted up and moved away from Loki fearful of what was going on. He was... hurting himself. Why!? She didn't understand. "Loki! LOKI! What's wrong!?"

Loki's breathing was heavy, getting at his back in any way that he could, too focused on getting the thing out of him to realize Natasha had woken up. He needed to get it out, he needed to be free from this form, no matter how deep he had to claw at himself

Natasha didn't understand. He was... hurting himself but why!? He wouldn't respond when she called to him and she was afraid to stand in his way. She curled up trying to avoid the blood splattering around the cage.

"Get...out...It..hurts..." he growled darkly, not even looking towards the glass when Clint came rushing down, once again with Fury, having been called by the Agent keeping an eye on Loki and Natasha. "What's going on?!" Clint asked quickly, trying to assess the situation.

Natasha blinked and looked outside the glass confused. Fury ran in and saw the mayhem in the cage. "What in the hell?" Natasha looked at Loki and frowned. "Loki! Listen to me! Come back. Listen to my voice. Please! I need you to calm down. I need you to talk to me! Tell me what's going on!"

Loki heard her voice and slowly stopped clawing at his back, falling to his knees. "I need it out...it has to be out," he whimpered. "I can't be stuck like this..."

"Loki... What Is it? What are you trying to do?" She looked at him and stood up seeing something different. Looking out at Clint she said. "You see better from a distance. Why do I think there's something in his back? Can you see anything?"

Clint shook his head. "Whatever it is...it must be deeper then he went..." he said with a slight frown, glancing over at Fury. "Maybe medical could look him over..x-ray his back." Loki growled in pain, digging his nails into the floor. He had angered the thing, and now he was paying for it.

Fury nodded. "Sounds good. But we'd need him knocked out before anything happens." Natasha backed away from Loki seeing what he was doing.

Clint nodded softly, readying a tranquilizer arrow before ordering the cage to be opened. Once it was he shot the arrow into Loki, watching as he slowly relaxed before falling into a deep sleep.

Natasha looked down at him and didn't care that she was covered in blood, his blood... She just wanted to know he was safe. Fury ordered a medical team to come up and take Loki to be examined using the coms. Soon the team came and took Loki away.

Clint went to Natasha's side, frowning slightly. "Are you ok, Tasha?" he asked softly, pulling her to her feet "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head and looked up at Clint. "I-I don't know what happened..." She said dazed. She was confused about what had gone on, she didn't quite understand why he had hurt himself. Why he couldn't tell her, explain what had to be done! They could have done it easier than him clawing his own flesh. Clint held her and helped her out of the cell. "You need a shower and new clothes Romanoff," he said looking at the former Russian beside him. She shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere until I know he's better."

A few moments passed before one of the medical team called Fury, Natasha and Clint "We found something...I think you all should see it..."

Fury nodded and replied over coms, "We'll be there ASAP." He looked at the two agents and headed out of the room towards medical. Natasha followed Fury not caring what she looked like, only knowing she looked like hell.

Clint followed closely after Natasha and Fury, reaching the medical wing in no time. "So...what's going on with him?" he asked, crossing his arms. The person that seemed to be nurse handed him the x-ray. "There seems to be a device connected to his spine...forcing some sort of venom into him," she explained pointing out various things.

Natasha blinked and looked at the X-ray over Clint's shoulder. Fury looked at the nurse. "Can you remove it?"

"There are risks," She started. "This...device has traces of organic substances. Slowly they are becoming a part of him. Removing it could be deadly," she said calmly. "Though I suggest that we try...the longer we wait, the less likely it will become to be able to remove it successfully."

Fury looked at the nurse and nodded. "Do it." Natasha was in shock. She couldn't understand anything. "Deadly?" "Becoming a Part of Him?" "Successfully Remove it?" The words seemed to swim through her mind. And then she remembered and wondered how Loki felt when he had brought her to this place. She wondered what he felt seeing her in the fragile state she was in. She wouldn't leave him. No matter what.

The nurse nodded curtly. "Right away sir," she said before leaving the room, going back to where Loki was. Clint looked at the X-Ray, tilting his head slightly. "It looks kinda like a bug," he observed.

Fury nodded looking over the X-ray in Clint's hands. "It does."

Clint frowned slightly. "I never would have thought that Chitauri's were normal people once," he muttered, suddenly feeling bad as he thought about how he may have killed once innocent beings. Fury shook his head and sighed. "We'll never know if all of them were. Maybe this is a device made to clone them?"

Clint nodded curtly and looked at the Director. "Though, didn't Loki say that most of them were different races?" He asked puzzled.

Fury nodded in reply before lacing his fingers together and replying. "He did. But we can't dwell on it Barton. What's done, is done." He turned his back and walked to his office, knowing he could be doing more work there than waiting for the operation. That, would be his partner's job.


	19. My Prince Returns

After hours upon hours of waiting, Natasha was lead into Loki's room. She didn't care what he looked like. She just needed him… needed him to be alright. She sat beside him and held his hands that were still slightly scaly and clawed. A toxin was pumped into his system, so the doctors told her that they needed to wait for him to detox out of it. That, wouldn't be fun for either of them. She had already been through it and didn't know how the others took it when she did. But she remembered the pain she felt. She didn't want him to be in pain. Holding his hand in one of hers, she used the other the brush some of the black locks away from his face and smiled at him.

Loki's eyes fluttered slightly as he squeezed her hand slightly. "Tasha…" he murmured, opening his snake-like eyes, smiling slightly. "H-Hey." His voice was quiet as he spoke, though it sounded closer to normal than the more animalistic one he had before.

Natasha smiled and held his hand a bit tighter. "Loki, you're alright," She said looking at him. He was bandaged all across his torso from his assault on his back and the procedure he went through. He tried to sit up, only to moan in pain, squeezing her hand tightly. He looked down at his chest and frowned slightly. "How long have I been asleep?" he asked, looking over at her.

She gently pushed him down on the bed making him lay down. "Hours… Maybe a day. I lost track," She admitted frowning. "I just wanted to make sure you're ok." She smiled and placed a hand on his cheek. "Sorry you're waking up to me looking like this," She said quietly, frowning slightly from the grime and dried blood on her training outfit.

Loki smiled weakly. "Sorry you have to see me looking like this," He replied looking at her for a long moment. "Tasha, I am so close to finding it for you… I am so close to finding immortality," he muttered quietly.

Natasha blinked and looked at him. "I don't care. I don't care about anything. How you look… immortality. I just want **you**. To be safe. For the small amount of time I have you," she explained, gripping his hand. Loki shook his head and looked at her with pleading eyes. "You don't understand Tasha," He whispered softly. "I need you by my side. Once I lose you… I'll lose all that is good about me." He took a shaky breath and continued. "You are… my life."

Biting her bottom lip, Natasha gripped Loki's hand reassuringly and kissed the back of it. "I won't leave you. You don't know how much you changed me, too. You're my everything."

He looked up at her and smiled. "I am glad that you won't leave of your own free will," he whispered. She held his hand and smiled. "You need to rest. I'll be here. I'll be right here for you each time you wake up," She said leaning over and kissing his forehead. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep as Natasha smiled and hummed a quiet song tracing patterns in his hand and arm.

Clint had been given the bug-like device in an unbreakable jar from the nurses that removed it from Loki's back. He took it and brought it to Fury, knowing the Director would want to see it. "Sir, this is what they got out of him," he said, watching the creature crawl around, trying to get out.

Fury looked at the bug and blinked. "This? It has a mind of its own." The mechanism hissed before making a few clicking noises, snapping its jaws at the glass. "It seems to be both living and robotic… kind of how those giant whale like things were," Clint observed looking at the creature in the jar.

Fury nodded and looked at the insect. "Well whatever it is…. It needs to go."

"Would you like me to send it to the lab?" The archer asked. "Or just dispose of it now?"

"Send it to the lab," the director ordered. "See if they can figure out how it works and how to kill it."

The archer nodded. "Yes sir," He said before turning on his heel and walking out of the office. Fury looked down at the file in front of him and pondered how everything was now different. The Chitauri were innocents… Mindless slaves. They would have to adjust any attack plan they had if the Chitauri were to return.

Natasha stayed by Loki's bedside and watched as he went through the detox. He would writhe and wince occasionally, but he did nothing like what she figured she did. She remembered reliving the terror she endured to return her to Natalia Shostakova as she went through this. The knives, the drugs, everything they did to her. She was glad he wasn't reliving anything like that. She held his hand and would quietly sing a song to him, hoping that the talents she showed no one else, would comfort him.

"I pray you'll be my eyes, and watch us where we go./ And help me to be wise in times when I don't know./ Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way/ Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace/ To a place where we'll be safe," She sang quietly, changing the words to the song to fit her views, hoping the melody would ease whatever pain he was sustaining.

He seemed to be comforted by her melody and she continued singing softly to him, watching his features change before her eyes. This was nothing she was ever trained for, but she was glad she had him with her. She kisses his forehead during a period of calm and ran her hand across his face to provide him the reassurance that he wasn't alone.

Loki felt her hands caress him and her lips brush along his skin through the pain he kept inside. He didn't want to worry her and he had been through worse. The fact that she stayed beside him, made everything easier. Her soothing melody calmed his mind and he reveled in her dulcet tones. He never knew the hidden talents she had in her arsenal. She could sing, dance, be an assassin, and she was beautiful. She was his little spider, and she was here for him. He gripped her small hand in his larger one and smiled slightly.

She watched his skin return to the regular paleness she knew him to be. She knew he would have residual effects like she did to this day about her detox. She was back to thinking with her "kill the mark with anything possible" when she was sent on missions when she had the restraint before. She hated feeling this way but… it was giving her the edge. And Loki was helping her out of it again, just as she would help him through his residual effects if he had any. She would stand beside him as he did for her.


	20. Truly Joined

**A/N: This chapter contains mature content ahead. Sweet and essential plot point contained in the beginning… mature content to come after. If not your cup of tea… stop reading this chapter when you get uncomfortable. The speech Loki gives is from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episode "Touched". All credit goes to Joss Whedon and the writers of "Buffy".**

Loki had felt that he needed time off, after everything that has happened… even Natasha did. So a week after he was fully healed he came up behind Natasha "Hey Nat…" he said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I have something for you…follow me."

She blinked and looked over her shoulder slightly confused. "Alright… You know I'm not one for surprises Loki." Loki smiled softly, taking her hand and leading her to an empty room. Once there he teleported to an island off the coast of Mexico, away from anyone and anything, the only noise being the waves. A little ways off there was a small hut. "I thought we may need some time off, Love," He whispered softly.

She looked around confused by the place and the fact she had actually been teleported only to hear the waves. A smile graced her lips and her eyes lit up with joy. "This is… beautiful," She managed out breathily. This had been the place she wanted to visit if she ever took time away. To just relax and think of nothing, to be alone.

"Only the best for you," Loki whispered, wrapping his arms around her. "You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you… you know that I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrongs calls. A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman." He took a deep breath, backing up slightly before he got down on one knee, a slight blush on his cheeks. "Would you, Natasha Romanoff… do me the honor of being… of being my wife?" He asked taking a ring from his pocket.

Natasha stood there, stunned searching for English in the languages she knew "Yes" in. She nodded and tears fell down her cheeks. "Of Course!" She finally managed to say when she found her voice at last. She hadn't been expecting this. Not **This**. She was mortal…he was immortal. This was… new. She never thought someone would want her for life. She is a spy, an assassin… but… he did. And she wanted him in her life as well.

Loki grinned, slipping the ring on her finger before standing, pulling her into a passion filled kiss, wrapping his arms around her, "I love you, Natasha… and I always will." He picked her up and spun her around before falling back into the sand, her on top of him. She laughed as he spun her around and fell back. She looked into his eyes and smiled brightly kissing him with passion and fire. "I love you too, Loki. For far longer than forever." She brushed a raven lock away from his face and smiled. "Well, now I guess I will be a princess," She said in a jest, smiling brightly and chuckling.

Loki chuckled softly, "You were always a princess to me." He ran his fingers through her hair. "But yes.. you will be a princess of Asgard."

"I know I was. Even though I might not agree… I know. Just as through everything you are always my prince," She rested her head against his shoulder and sighed in happiness and contentment. "This is the second best day I have ever had."

Loki knitted his eyebrows together, confused slightly. "The Second?" he asked, looking up at her. "What would be the first, love?" She smiled brightly and rested her forehead against his, gazing lovingly into his eyes. "The day I found you near dead in that alley. That day lead us here. That day is the happiest day of my life. Without it… I don't know what I'd do."

Loki chuckled "It's funny… how something that should have been the worst day of my life… I too find it to be the best day" he placed his hand on her cheek, caressing it softly. "You are an amazing woman, Nat."

"Just as you are an amazing man Loki. I am the luckiest woman in all the realms because you took my heart and asked me this," she stated, looking down at the ring on her finger.

Loki chuckled softly, "I am the one that is lucky, Natasha… you could have had anyone… but you chose me…" he kissed her again smiling. "I wish I could tell all of the nine realms of this glorious day!"

She smiled and rested her head on his chest. "I couldn't have anyone. Because I've known you. You understand me where others wouldn't. You made your mark on me. I had been suffering for years until I met you. You were there to ease my suffering and ended up stopping it completely. You could have anyone you wanted. Women throw themselves at your feet, goddesses must line up before you and you chose me. A very complicated mortal who some believe has no heart." She sighed and looked at him. "I love you more than anything. And I will do anything that will make you happy."

Loki shook his head laughing softly, "Just think what everyone will say when they find out"

"They'll think this had better be kept a secret and they'll be wondering what my last name will be," she said pondering and messing with his raven hair. "I mean… you're Odinson… son of Odin… But if I marry you… now I'm curious." A smile graced her lips as she pondered the rather meaningless question. She didn't care what she'd be called. She only cared about being his. If she was called "Loki's wife" she'd know who it was and it would give her great pride.

"I know Thor will be asking when he gets to be an uncle." Loki shook his head. "Barton… I'm not so sure… I'm not even sure if he likes me or not." He mused.

Natasha blushed lightly as Loki's proposition at to what Thor would say and hid her face in his chest. "It takes a lot for him to warm up to people. Believe me…"

He held her close slightly confused by her hiding in his chest. He just stroked the fiery locks that draped over her shoulders. "Natasha," he said quietly looking down at her. She tilted her face up and smiled.

"Yes?" she asked, sitting up a bit.

"What would you say… to us moving from here?" He asked before kissing her jawline. She looked down at him with an eyebrow raised and a smirk tugging at her lips. "I would say it would be fine," She replied simply, sitting up as she straddled his waist. He sat up, resting on his elbows and looked into her emerald eyes. She smiled down at him and before she could get up, he had his hands on her hips, pulling her up with him. Instinctively her legs wrapped around his slender waist locking the two bodies together. Her hands made their way into his ebony tresses and she pulled him close for a kiss.

Their lips crashed together and moved in a synchronous rhythm. He was tempted to teleport them to the small hut nearby, but he felt her shift and she was out of his arms. Smirking he looked down at his flame haired spider, "You are talented."

She leaned up and whispered seductively in his ear, "You have yet to see my talents, Highness." She turned on her heels and sashayed down the beach towards the lodging. He clenched his fist, not in anger, but restraint. She was teasing him, tempting him. He followed after her, watching the sway of her hips and how she glided across the sand. Biting his cheek he couldn't help but try to subdue the images that ran through his mind seeing her walk in such a fashion.

She walked into the abode and looked around. It was modest with an expensive feel about it. Smiling she twirled around and looked at the door seeing Loki leaning against the doorframe. "You like it?" He asked looking at her.

She nodded in reply and smiled brightly. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

He walked to her, closing the door behind him. There was no one around so if things went in a certain direction, they would have privacy. She sashayed to him and put her hands in his ebony locks pulling him down to her in a kiss. Immediately he returned her kiss wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against him until no space was between their bodies.

She felt every contour of his body as he did hers. His hands moved from about her waist, one up to attach itself in her fiery locks, the other down to cup her rear, pulling her pelvis to his. She moaned in her throat, keeping her lips with his, feeling them connect and feeling the prominent bulge in his pants.

He licked her lower lip begging for entrance and she let him in. Their tongues battled together and she wrapped a leg around his waist, her heel hooking around his thigh so it rested between his legs. It was his turn to utter a moan feeling her shift, feeling her open up to him.

She pulled away and caught her breath that came in shallow gasps as he moved his head down and kissed along her jaw line. He nipped the flesh lightly as he trailed up to her ear. "Natasha," He whispered breathily in her ear. "I need you."

"I need you, too," She gasped out feeling his hot breath on her neck. She hadn't admitted she needed anyone in this sense before. She never thought she would, but she needed him. She wanted to please him in every way he needed and wanted.

He smirked and nipped at her neck and at the junction of her neck and shoulders. Her breath hitched in her throat and a groan of pleasure involuntarily bubbled from her lips. He knew he had found a sweet spot. He sucked on it and bit down on her harder. Her hips gently bucked against him, pressing her core against him making them both groan.

He picked her up not relinquishing his mouth from her shoulder. Her legs instinctively wrapped themselves around his slender waist and pull him closer. He walked to the bedroom and laid her down on the mattress. She bit her lip feeling her back gently touch the mattress. He removes himself from her shoulder and admires the mark he made.

"Staking a claim?" She asked looking at him, her eyes glazed with desire.

"Yes," he said simply. "You will be mine and mine only."

"I know," She replied, running her hands up his torso. "As you will only be mine."

"I have no doubt in that matter," He stated looking down at her. Her hands found their way under his shirt and she slipped the material off, making sure to keep her hands touching his flesh. She leaned up and captured his lips with hers as he removed her shirt, breaking their connection to pull the fabric over her head.

Her hands trailed his back, feeling no mark from the scars he had while he was mortal. He was perfection, she, was marked and scarred… imperfect. He traced her markings and moved his kisses from her lips to her blemishes. He kissed the marks he saw and traced others with his lithe fingers. Almost seeming to know her thoughts about her appearance he spoke up. "You are gorgeous," he said, punctuating each word with a kiss. Her blush increased and she looked down at him, her emerald eyes locking with his own.

"I would never ask for someone so divine to be my wife, because there are none such as you," He stated, crawling back up her body so he could look down into her rosy face.

She gave him a peck on the lips and smiled. "You are the most wonderful man I've ever known," She said not wavering from his intense gaze. His hands made their way to her jeans and unbuttoned them, tugging them down her legs. She lifted her hips to allow him to pull the denim over her hips and he did so with ease. She returned the favor by tugging his pants down and they each kicked the hindering fabric away.

He looked over her body hungrily, like one would a meal before them. His hands traced her frame and rested on her ample buxom, kneading the flesh through the flimsy material covering them. She moaned and rolled her shoulders back, pressing more into his hands. He smirked and reached one hand behind her, unfastening the bra and throwing it across the room. Her lips curled into a smirk and she claimed his again, his hands still working on her sensitive flesh. He pulled her peaks between his fingers, making her moan against his kiss.

Her hands reached between them and cupped his length through the fabric. In reply he growled low in his throat his hips giving a jerk. She smirked as he trailed his hands down and ran his fingers along her moist folds and she gently caressed him. Slipping her hand under the fabric she gripped him and stroked him hard. He was painfully hard against her hand and he slipped his fingers under her cloth and inside her. Her hips bucked up and she gasped feeling his fingers intrude into her core.

He smirked and added another finger when he could, stretching her, prepping her. Her hand glided along his length and he looked at her, a grin reminiscent to the one she saw while he was controlled by Thanos spread across his face. It was a grin of desire, of need, but not for the power he craved under that spell, but for her. He removed his fingers from her warmth and hers from about his hard shaft, earning a sad moan from her. He leaned down and kissed her deeply as he used his magic to remove both of the fabrics between them. Nudging her thighs apart with one hand he got his message across and was granted the invitation of her. He never once broke their kiss as he settled himself between her spread legs. She pulled back and looked up at him, feeling him so close to her, but so far.

"Please," She begged, looking into his eyes full of desire. He watched her face as he pushed himself into her yielding warmth. She gripped the sheets and her eyes flew open as she gasped feeling him slide inside her. He was a god, and he fit that name well. He was large inside her and she clenched around him as he pushed into her agonizingly slow. She bit her lip and moaned feeling him fill her. He pulled from her until the smallest amount of him was left inside, then pushed into her until he was buried in her to the hilt.

She arched her back feeling him inside her and his rhythm stay so smooth. She groaned and moved her hands along his back digging her nails into the iron muscles of his shoulders as he picked up his pace. He moaned from the pinpricks of her nails, the pain heightening the pleasure and ducked down to capture her kiss swollen lips with his. The sounds of pleasure were muffled by their kiss but they continued as he pleased her. He normally didn't care about his bed partner; his needs were the only ones that mattered. But now, with her, his need was to please her. And from the sight of her writhing beneath him, the sounds she made in her throat, her hips undulating with his in the perfect time and rhythm, he knew she was enjoying him as he was enjoying her.

She was not a maiden, but she felt like one around him and he looked into her emerald eyes as he pushed into her harder. She felt a scream building up inside her. "Loki," She gasped. His name dripping with the wanton lust that was her feeling now heightened his pleasure more and he drove into her. She screamed his name as he slid across the spot she hid so well making him come closer to the brink he pushed her to.

He quickened his pace becoming erratic as he began that climb that was to his peak and snaked a hand between their sweat glistened bodies and pinched the nub that was her pleasure center. As he pinched he thrust into her hard and she lolled her head back screaming his name as her eyes rolled back inside her head, her vision white from the ecstasy. Quivering from the intensity that was her release she clenched tightly around him and he hoped he could extend her pleasure enjoying seeing her in such a state. He was close to his as well and with a few more thrusts into her tight sex he spilled his seed inside her with a cry of her name. Never had a woman pleased him so well, never had he truly cared for his partner like he cared for her. He moved to the side of her, cupping her cheek and placing a kiss on her forehead trying to catch his breath. She panted and looked at him. "I love you, Loki," She said between gasps of breath.

"And I love you, Tasha," He replied kissing her lips. She pulled closer to him reveling in the fact of what had transpired. She had wanted him ever since he had called her that awful name. He loved the feeling of being inside her, their union had been sweet… something he had wanted while he was under Thanos' control. He saw the way her body moved, the grace she had, and her mind fascinated him. He had pictured himself in this situation, not quite this one here, but where she rested beside him and him inside her… it was bliss.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes before curling up with him. He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her close to him. She wanted to rest after their first time together to let it sink in that yes, they just shared each other. But this vacation, would be very fun.

She rolled them over so she straddled his hips. She felt him twitch inside her and gave a slight moan. He was ready for another round, and so was she. She lowered her head to his lips and placed light feathery kisses all over his mouth. She ground her hips against his, moving him about inside her but never letting him withdraw. If he tried she moved her pelvis with his. He groaned in bliss and he gripped her hips tightly keeping her steady. He thrust his hips up slamming inside of her. She screamed in ecstasy feeling him drive into her. He set their rhythm and Natasha knew she would not last long. She started her ascent to the pinnacle and gripped her own breast that happened to slightly bounce in time with his thrusts inside her. Her moans and other sounds of pleasure intensified as her hands teased her nipples and her peaks.

Loki bit his lip seeing her tease herself and knew what would send her over as it did before. He played with the sensitive nub that was her clit receiving a gratifying moan of his name. He rubbed around it and pinched it. She tightened around him and she felt him pick up his pace. He was nearing his release again as well and he wasn't going to enjoy this alone it seemed. He continued his conquest of her until she screamed out his named again, coming all over him and as he released inside of her. She slumped forward kissing his neck. "Oh my god," She breathed out.

"Yes, I am," he said stroking her sweat dampened hair. She rested on his chest and smiled. "You are just… amazing," She said trying to catch her breath.

"As are you," he replied kissing the top of her head. They laid together for a while, enjoying the sounds of the waves crashing nearby.

After a while more they had been together in so many ways. Loki lay with his face to the ceiling as Natasha lay on her side. He was quietly making a rather funny sound, as though he were a dying whale. She smirked and looked at him. "And you're the one who called me a mewling quim," She said with a widening smirk on her lips.

Catching his breath he looked over at her, his emerald eyes narrow. "Damn you and your mortal stamina. I am a god, how is this possible!?"

She moved only her eyes, looking up and down his naked frame. "Puny god," She said, swinging her feet out of bed, putting the robe that he had conjured for her on and walking out the bedroom door. He looked down at himself and blinked. "I am not puny," He muttered under his breath.

She chuckled continued to the kitchen beginning to cook something for her to eat. She had plans for this vacation with him. And she hoped he would feel the same way. From the arms wrapped around her waist and the lips latched to the side of her neck… she figured it would be a yes.

"Glad you could join me," she said smiling.

"I wouldn't spend any time away from you if it could be helped," he said as he ran his hands over her deliciously seductive form. She sighed happily and turned around to face him. "Something you need of me Highness?"

"Yes," he said before kissing her luscious lips. "You."

She smirked and claimed his lips with hers and felt him lift her up onto the counter. Her legs spread slightly letting him stand between them. He used his magic to turn the appliances in the kitchen off so they could continue without being interrupted.


	21. All Good Things Must Come To An End

**A/N: Hello readers! Just so you know…. I (Rosabelle) Am in the hospital. I have been since Sunday. The wonderful co-author of mine (Saria) Is the one posting these chapters and replying to your reviews etc. I hope you guys enjoy this story and we're sorry it's so disjointed. This is a converted Roleplay so… it skips around a lot. I hope you all have a good time and If you want to message me and talk with me… send a personal message and I'm sure Saria will fill you in. Ok? Love you all SOOOOOO Much! You are awesome! Love- Rosabelle (Natasha)**

It had been a few days, a few days of pure bliss and nothing more. Loki held Natasha close to his bare chest, listening to the waves as they lay in the hut. Here was the first time he and Natasha had slept soundly in...well, he didn't know how long. Softly he kissed her bare shoulder, enjoying the peace.  
Natasha sighed with contentment. She was in bliss. Spending time with Loki, just the two of them, it was perfection. She had wanted to spend time alone with him but their job prohibited it... and they didn't really have the easiest time these past few weeks. She relaxed in his arms and smiled gently. "Thank you, Loki. This is just wonderful."

Loki smiled softly "Only the best for you, Natasha" he whispered, softly kissing her neck. He ran his hand feather lightly down her side. "Anything for you, my princess..."

She smiled and rested against him shuddering at his feathery touch. "That tickles. And I will do the same for you, my prince." Loki smiled sweetly. "I love you," he whispered softly. "And I wish I could stay here with you forever."

"I love you, too. And I want to do the same. I just want to stay like this," she replied quietly, closing her eyes.

Loki kissed her softly. "Rest, now...my little spider..." he whispered, nuzzling his face in her coppery hair that rested below her shoulders. It had been an amazing few days, the two of them having been joined in the most intimate of ways, both body and spirit, they were truly one.

She smiled softly and rested with him. "You are amazing, my prince." She nestled close to him and stifled a quiet yawn.

"As are you, my princess," Loki whispered, tracing circles in her hand. Softly he started to sing one of the lullaby's that his mother had sung to him. "So many years now the raven's been flying, Much has he witnessed on Midgard's shore, Found answers and questions, and still is trying to find the wisdom to understand more. On featherweight wings, old Memory is following, And free Thought before him flies. Eye of the Wanderer when dusk is falling, Beyond the bounds of Midgard he spies. Seeks outside and inside, every day, On many roads and around the bend. How long he must search yet, who could say? Only One knows the aim and the end."

She smiled and her breathing began to slow and steady as his soothing voice sang her to sleep like a child in his arms. It was unusual that someone had this effect over her, but she was enjoying it. She loved him and his melody invaded her dreams.

Loki smiled softly as she fell asleep. As he laid there listening to her breathing, drifting off to sleep.

After the days of peace, quiet, and wonderful time spent with Loki... it had to come to an end. She sighed as she walked into headquarters looking around at the busy building. She had no idea how to tell everyone, if she was going to tell them at all... that she was engaged. She wanted to tell everyone but discretion had to be maintained. She ran her thumb over the cool metal band on her finger, something she very much liked doing reminding her that what had happened was not a dream. The metal was one of Asgard, she didn't know what it was and the stone set in the metal was one from Russia. An Alexandrite, one of the rarest stones in nature. The color changing stone, from Red to green, glimmered in the metal surrounding it. Diamonds glinted around the setting and she was proud of it. She would wear rings on her hand to get her used to them for missions and to just wear around when she wasn't needed on missions. This one… would stay with her always. Loki had said it wouldn't be damaged and she believed him.

Maria was walking around looking over files and other items waiting for the day Loki and Natasha would come back. Since she knew their secret and covered for them in the higher levels... she wanted to know exactly what happened on their 'leave of absence', requested by Loki.

Loki entwined his hand with hers but only for a moment before pulling his hand away. He smiled softly, at her and the cool feel of the ring on her finger when he held her hand. "We should do that more often, Tasha," he whispered quietly as they walked through the halls.

She looked up and him and gave him a slight smile whispering in return. "I'd love that. Everything about it was perfect for us." She looked around at the other agents walking by and she returned to her stoic demeanor she carried around this place.

Loki looked up to see Maria coming their way "Maria, I hope our leave wasn't troubleso-" he was cut off when both he and Natasha were pushed into an unused room. "Woah, hey, Maria...what are you doing?" He raised an eyebrow when the door shut behind them.

Natasha was confused beyond all reason. She looked at Maria who dropped the stoic mask she wore as Natasha did replacing it with a smile. "Ok! You two drop of the face of the planet for a week on 'vacation' and I just wanna know... Ring? Yes? No?" Natasha looked at the spy in front of her needing information. Finally understanding the disjointed questions Natasha held out her hand showing the ring. Maria smiled and looked at the two. "Congratulations."

Loki smiled brightly wrapping his arm around Natasha's waist. "Thank you Maria," he said proudly, eyes shining.

Natasha smiled putting her hand over Loki's heart and resting her head against his shoulder. "Yes. Thank you," the assassin echoed, smiling with pride. Maria nodded in reply and said, "Again... this secret is safe with me."

"Natasha is debating on telling a few people or not..." Loki said looking down at his bride.

Natasha looked up at Loki and smiled. "Making me out to be the bad guy I think? I can't help it! I'm a spy. Anything someone can use against me they will in my mind. I trust you, I trust Maria... The less people who know... the safer we all are," Natasha explained quietly, frowning slightly. Maria sighed and shook her head at the excuse. "Natasha. Things change. You might not think you can... but it can happen. We all just need one really important thing to change for and we do our hardest."

"Yes," Loki agreed tightening his arm around Natasha's waist. "We have both changed for the other. Not much, because we fit so well. We can do this. We can make this work."

"I know we can. I wouldn't have said yes if we couldn't," She reminded smiling up at him. "But I still just want to keep things quiet. If you want… we'll tell people. But I don't want our partnership removed!" That was what she feared most. She still had a bind to Clint, it wasn't as close as it used to be, they had to work back up to that. But she couldn't lose him, he knew everything about her. And she didn't want some other little female agent to come in and make him second guess himself by asking her to marry him.

Loki looked at Natasha and turned to face her. "Natasha," He said, using her full name instead of the pet names he normally used. This would get his point across. "I love you. And if Fury thinks he can tell me who my partner will be… Then that is where he will be wrong. I will work with you only. I am a god, and I will do what it takes to make sure we stay working together. You have my word," he explained. He looked in her eyes and saw the faint glimmer insecurity that was there and smiled. "You don't have to worry. No one would ever compare to you. You know me like not even my brother does." He pulled her close and kissed her forehead sweetly. "I'll never let you go my little spider."

She smiled at his words and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, Loki," She said in a voice barely above a whisper. "You mean everything to me."

"Just as you do to me," He replied. Maria stood there watching the two a smile on her face. "You two should report back to Fury. He might have need of you," She said not really wanting to break up the moment between them.

Natasha sighed and stepped back. "Time for work," She said replacing her smile with the stony face she wore as a mask here. Loki did the same and they walked out of the room, looking around the institution for any sign they were needed.


	22. I'll Cover for You

Natasha was bored. She wasn't being sent out on missions, Loki was in Asgard, and she was starting to get stir crazy. She was lonely since Clint was still a bit edgy around her, and she couldn't really tell him Loki and she were engaged without having him possibly fly off the handle, and Maria was being given assignments. She hated being locked in the office but, she wasn't feeling well and would probably pass on the assignments anyway. The symptoms started several weeks after being back at SHIELD.

Dizziness, nausea... foods not sounding good... and she almost always needed the bathroom. Finally tired of everything she debated on whether or not to go to medical here and be diagnosed... knowing anything wrong with her would be stored in the databases and possibly be used as grounds to make her resign. Or she could go to a general practitioner, request a leave of absence… and things would be good. She sighed and rested her head on her desk making files flutter to the floor.

Maria had been keeping an eye on Natasha, per Loki's request. Over the past few weeks she had started to realize that there was something wrong with the skilled assassin. She had made sure that she was not sent on any missions, worried that she may get hurt if she is struck with any of her symptoms during a mark. Maria crossed her arms, leaning in the door frame to the room Natasha was in. "Still not feeling all that well, are you?"

She shook her head on the desk. "No... I'm so sick I can't eat anything and anything I want to eat makes me sick at the sight of it. Not to mention I'm dead tired." She yawned to emphasize the point and shook her head again. "I don't know what's going on. I think I might have caught something somewhere."

Maria shut the door behind her, taking a seat across from Natasha. "You do realize I won't let you go on any missions until you get better...or at least get checked out," she explained calmly. The agent had a hunch of what it could be, but it was only a hunch.

Natasha sighed replacing her head on the desk. "I figured it might be you doing this. And you know how I get when I'm stuck here. I just... Anything found out here can be lethal to my career." She wasn't sure what she had, but she knew she wanted to keep her life right now.

"Then go get checked up elsewhere...if you cover your tracks well enough, SHIELD won't be able to track that you went anywhere...believe me, I know," the dark haired agent said ominously.

Natasha looked up at the agent across from her and raised an eyebrow. "I can't think straight enough. I'm too tired... and achy in places I never thought would hurt." She winced slightly as her arms brushed her chest as she straightened up.

Maria sighed softly and stood "I'll help you then..." she looked at her friend with soft eyes. Yes...she knew what was wrong, but was it really her place to tell? She didn't think so, and hearing this might not be the best thing for the assassin before her.

Natasha stood up smiling slightly. "Thank you. First... bathroom." She walked out of the office to the women's room getting sick from something around. She hated this, and it needed to stop. Weeks ago.

Maria waited until Natasha came back, having decided that she should at least hint what was wrong. "Natasha...I think I may know what is wrong. Now I'm going to ask a personal question. Feel free not to answer," she paused for a moment, waiting for her to sit down. "How..." She started but slightly chickened out, not quote knowing how to phrase the question she needed to pose.

Natasha looked at Maria with an eyebrow raised. "Personal question... OK... 'How' what?" Natasha asked the chocolate haired agent in the room. Taking a deep breath Maria asked, "How late are you?"

Natasha hadn't considered that question. She was a little irregular at times but... not this bad. She looked at Maria and realization rose into her eyes... along with other emotions. "No. No... Don't say that. No. I-I... no..." She started to panic. How would she tell him? How would she even raise a child? She's an assassin! She kills people not give life to them! She ran a shaky hand through her hair and tried to deny it. "No. Just no. I'm not... _that_." She couldn't bring herself to say the word.

Maria went to her side, gently placing her hand on the woman's shoulder. "It's ok. Just take a deep breath and sit down...alright?" her voice was soft, gentle. "I know what you're going through."

Natasha tried calming herself down before she burst into tears. Looking at Maria with a confused and concerned look she asked, "Y-you... You do?"

She nodded softly, a pained look in her eyes, "Yes...I do, how do you think I know what is wrong with you."

Natasha frowned and looked at Maria. Without anything else Natasha wrapped her arms around Maria, knowing this had to be painful for her as well. Natasha wouldn't pry, knowing that if Maria wanted to tell her, she would.

Maria was taken by surprise when the assassin wrapped her arms around her, but she returned the hug gently. "I lost it though... when the hellicarrier was attacked..."

Natasha frowned and stepped back cursing the damn hormones that made her want to hug everything and cry all the time. She nodded. "I'm sorry." She admitted quietly. Maria shook her head slightly. "Don't be...it's in the past," she said calmly, forcing back the overwhelming sadness that was in her. "I am...sure you are wondering who the father would have been?" she asked. Natasha trusted her with her and Loki's relationship...why not tell the spy about hers?

Natasha was curious and bit her lip. "I am... but if this is to personal... Don't tell me. I'm fine." Maria looked down at her hands, curling them into fists "It was Coulson...Phil," she took a shaky breath. "We had been together for...five years maybe? Until..." she shook her head, clearing her throat.

Natasha frowned even more and felt hot tears fall down her cheeks. Maria had lost so much in one day... she couldn't help but cry. And she couldn't stop crying either. "I-I'm s-so-sorry! I-I d-don't know what's g-going on to m-make me c-cry!" She cried putting her face in her hands.

Maria shook her head, wrapping her arms around the sobbing Black Widow. "Like I said...don't...don't be sorry," she whispered quietly, her own tears threatening to fall. "What's past is past..."

Natasha couldn't stop crying and it was annoying her to no end. She sniffled and held Maria. "B-But..." She looked at Maria tears streaming from her emerald eyes. "Y-You m-must hate Th-Thanos m-more than I-I do."

"Hating the thing that killed them won't bring them back," she said as she shook her head. "It takes up too much energy...energy I do not have."

She nodded and tried to stop her crying finally succeeding. Taking a deep breath she released it shakily. "I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that."

"What matters is that you stay healthy...rest when your body tells you to. Don't worry about being found out...I'll cover for you." She smiled slightly continuing, "And I think congratulations are in order."

Natasha nodded again and shivered. "Am I continuing to come in or am I locked on house arrest?"

"There is not going to be a problem unless you go on missions. You can come in, just...paperwork for you though." She paused, "Though people are going to start to wonder when you start showing"

Natasha bit her lower lip. "I have leave time... I haven't taken a vacation prior to... well... yeah. I'll request a Leave of Absence. You never know when... someone else might show up in my mind." She looked down and frowned. She had been reset like a cheap VCR so many times. The worst would always be Natalia Romanovna... the first one. She had others... other lives to go with the other aliases. They were all inside her mind, and with any situation, they might come out. A slight rehash of what made her revert back to Natalia prior to now could set her off again. She might actually end up being a risk to herself. The leave of absence would be fine and Maria could push it through easily. But the big question would be… how to tell her fiancée. He said he was needed on Asgard but he wouldn't say why. He only said he'd visit when he could. She missed him, and it wasn't like her to miss anyone. She looked at Maria and saw the nod. "I'll do what I can Natasha," the other agent replied with a nod.

"Thank you, Maria," Natasha said quietly. She was afraid of this. She wouldn't admit it but she was afraid.


	23. Fury Didn't Tell Us

**A/N: This chapter is centered around someone different now. But it's important. :) ENJOY OUR SURPRISE!**

Fury had decided it was time to check on someone he hadn't seen for a few weeks. He went to a special room in medical that only a few people were aware of. After inputting passwords and going through scans he walked into the room that held one person in the room on life support. He walked to the bedside and looked down at the agent there. "Well Phil... You've been out for a while." He started talking to the agent only to see Phil start to move. Immediately he paged the nurses and the team came in. Agent Coulson was back from the "dead".

Maria had been helping Natasha keep under Fury's radar, taking most of her cases or handing them off to Clint. At the moment she was going through old paperwork, filing them away in their proper places. She made a note to herself to give the rookie agent who filed them away a hard time. She frowned when she got a page from Fury and sighed slightly, going to his office "You wanted to see me sir?"

Fury looked at Maria and nodded. "What I am about to show you is above Top Secret. Do you understand?"

Her brows furrowed, watching him for a moment before nodding. "Yes sir..." she said calmly, wondering why he was suddenly about to how her a top secret...well...whatever it was.

Fury walked to the room and entered the security measures. "The push we gave the Avengers was needed. They needed something to make it personal and so they would work together. What we gave them... was a lie."

Maria's heart beat quickened, eyes becoming wide. "S-Sir?" she asked quietly. It was too good to be true. Phil was dead, and she knew that...right? "Agent Coulson...died sir...I don't understand," she muttered quietly, trying not to get her hopes to far up.

"He isn't. We said that to give the team the push they all desperately needed. He was involved with them all." Fury opened the door to the room where Phil was resting. "He's been in a coma the entire time though."

Maria looked over at him, clearly angry. "He was my partner and you didn't tell me?!" she asked, fuming. He was her partner in more ways than one. The two Agents had a private wedding when they were on one of their missions together.

"I couldn't have anyone know. You might have slipped around someone and then the team would have disbanded. Phil told me that this was what he would have wanted. He Assembled the Avengers. HE is the reason they are what they are today."

Maria looked over at Phil and nodded softly, slowly moving to the man's side. "Why are you telling me this now?" she asked quietly.

"Because he woke up. And you were his partner. I figured you should be the first to know," he said, standing near the door. Phil turned his head and opened his eyes seeing Maria's face. "Maria..." he said quietly.

Maria couldn't help but smile as she took a seat next to his bedside. "Hey Phil" she said softly, placing her hand over his. "Long time no see."

Fury took his leave letting the two have their moment. Phil looked up at Maria and held her hand. "Yeah... But I don't know how long exactly. How is everything? I must have missed so much."

"You were out for a year and a half," Maria replied, squeezing his hand ever so softly. "Things have been...better, but at least we won..."

"Really? A year and a half? That's a long time. But good we won..." he said smiling a bit. He would have liked to see the result, but the team was together and they defended the Earth.

"Yeah," she gently kissed his forehead. "I've missed you..."

Phil smiled and looked at her. He was dying to know... "How is our little secret? Where are they? Daycare?"

Maria suddenly felt her heart leap into her throat. "I..I ah..." she looked away, trying to keep herself calm. At least Phil was alive...right? "I lost it during the attack on the helicarrier," she muttered under her breath, squeezing his hand slightly, looking back at him.

Phil frowned and sighed sadly. "Oh. I-I see. I'm sorry Maria. I really am." She shook her head slightly. "It's ok...really," she said quietly, searching his face for a long moment. "I'm just glad that you're back with me...I thought I had lost you too."

He smiled at her and held her hand. "I would have always been here with you."

"You better be," Maria said quietly. "I thought you were dead...Fury didn't tell us that you survived..."

"He didn't tell you?" he asked looking at her confused. "I said... if anything were to happen... he should tell you how I was."

"No," Maria muttered quietly. "I thought...I would never see you again...I..." she had to stop before he burst into tears.

He was confused. Fury said he would tell Maria everything... and he hadn't. He held her hand and Squeezed it. "Maria..." She felt hot tears streak down her cheeks. "He said he couldn't risk me telling the Avengers," she muttered quietly, looking into his eyes. "I..I guess I could see what he was thinking but..."

He sighed and looked at her. "But he should know you wouldn't..."

She roughly wiped her tears away with the back of her free hand. "Maybe I'm not as trustworthy as I thought I was," She thought aloud. She hoped it wasn't the case but, that seemed to be the only explanation unless Fury was trying to make her work harder than she was because her husband was gone. She had put herself more into her work and was diligent with everything she was assigned to, because she had nothing to distract her. She was becoming one of the best agents around and that was because she had nothing more than her job to focus on.

"Hey..." He said gripping her hand. "Look at me. You're trustworthy. I wouldn't have done what I did if I didn't trust you with everything."

Maria felt a small smile tug at her lips, taking a deep breath she weakly joked. "I should kill you for going after him on your own."

"He was getting away. But I got him back didn't I? Found out what the prototype did though." He chuckled and coughed. "Looks like that's not good for a while."

"That you did," she said with a shake of her head. "Oddly enough...Loki wasn't Loki when he hurt you." She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb as she continued, "He was controlled by a being known as Thanos."

"He was? Huh... seemed so him though," He said watching Maria's face. "Anything else I should know?"

"You have missed a lot," Maria smiled softly, shaking her head. "There is so much to tell."

"We have time." he said simply, just wanting to hear her voice again.

"Well, to start with...The Council thinks The Avengers were to blame for all the destruction," she shook her head slightly. "We did our best to clear their names, but some still see them as the enemy."

Phil nodded and listened. "They were always suspicious of the team."

"They're foolish," she said calmly. "The Avengers saved the world." She shook her head, continuing to explain all that happened after he slipped into a coma. Phil listened to everything and would ask for details every so often. He enjoyed listening to her talk and as she told him what he missed, he nodded and committed everything to memory so he wouldn't have to have it repeated and mess something up. He was back, alive, and with his wife. Everything was perfect.


	24. I'll use you to break it

Natasha had been working through the boredom of paperwork. People didn't ask her why she was on desk duty, they knew better than to ask. Clint didn't come around much but when he did he didn't know she'd been a desk jockey the entire time. She sighed seeing Maria come into her office. "Have you found out anything? Has Jane? She's been studying things like this," Natasha asked seeing the brunette. She was worried. She didn't want to be alone if Maria was right about her… condition.

"No Natasha," the agent said as she shook her head. "We have nothing."

"He must be really busy if he can't afford a single day with me. I need to tell him!" Natasha said exasperatedly. She couldn't do this alone. She needed him with her.

"He'll be here you know it," Maria comforted the redhead.

"If you lie to me, I won't be happy Maria," she said narrowing her eyes. The mood swings were annoying her, but they were what they were. What the two agents didn't know was that someone else was watching them.

The man walked into SHIELD and made his way past security with ease. Granted he had abilities to ease his passing and he used them. There was something here he wanted… Something to gain leverage over his most precious pawn. He walked into the building and alarms went off. Seems they found the guards he silenced. Dead men can't talk after all.

Natasha's body stiffened hearing the alarms. "What's going on?" she asked looking at the door. Maria stood from her chair and looked at the door as well. "Stay here Agent Romanoff that's an order," she said as she ducked out the door. Natasha glared and walked to the door. She was technically not leaving the office, but she'd be able to see what happened.

Maria ran through the crush of people going two ways. Some were trying to avoid the danger while others ran to assess it. She stopped in her tracks and looked around seeing agents getting thrown aside like dolls. She saw the figure and blinked. This figure wasn't normal. The stature was completely different than a normal human being. When the figure turned around she saw the slight purple flash of his skin and the bright blue eyes. She turned on her heels and ran back to Natasha. This wouldn't be good.

Natasha saw Maria running towards her and she stepped back into the office and grabbed her weapons. "Believe me, those won't do any good," Maria said running into the office and closing the door. "We have to find a way out."

"The only other way is the window and do you really want to risk me?" Natasha asked with an eyebrow raised. Maria stood there for a moment. "Very true," She conceded. It was then that the door opened suddenly. Maria stepped to Natasha and stayed in front of her. Natasha tried to worm her way around Maria but was stopped when she saw the large figure in the doorway. The large square jaw, the bright blue eyes, and the height gave her the feeling this wasn't someone to trifle with. His leathery skin was purple and he grinned evilly at the two female agents. "You must know of me," He said in a gruff tone. "I'm sure the prince told you of me."

Natasha blinked and realization resounded through her, hearing Loki's description of his captor in her mind. This was him. "You're Thanos," she said coldly. Thanos gave a wicked grin at her words and tone. "You are correct. So you are the one who turned him from us. You are the one he gives everything for. He would not have told you everything if he didn't."

"You're the one who told the Other to turn him into your minion, you gave him the scepter and needed the Tesseract," Maria added. Natasha blinked, there was something in Thanos' eyes that betrayed him. He wasn't coming for a fight, but for something else. "Again, you are correct. Why he trusted you weak beings with such information is beyond me," Thanos said, striding into the office. "But, I will use what you know to get him. He was my greatest asset."

He stepped up to Maria and Natasha, he made a grab for the redhead but Maria deflected his hand. Thanos' eyes narrowed and he smirked. He gave Maria the fight she thought she needed but ended up losing. The brunette slumped to the floor and leaned against the wall. Natasha stepped back looking up at Thanos and then to Maria and back. "Well, this should be fun," Thanos said as he placed a hand on Maria's forehead. He used a small stone that was similar to the Tesseract to control her Maria's mind. The brunette agent sat up and stood from her slump. She looked at Thanos and then to Natasha with the empty look of a doll waiting to be ordered around.

Natasha blinked looking at Maria, seeing the change. She was now under Thanos' control. "Now you pathetic waste of space," Thanos said, looking Natasha over. "I can see how he chose you. You are a rather beautiful maggot among the race. You will be great leverage over him, and a beautiful decoration to my court."

Natasha glared at Thanos. "You will never get me to turn on him willingly," She stated coldly. "Oh, I was never thinking you would be with me willingly. This, will be perfect." He quickly grabbed Natasha's arm and pulled her close. She struggled to get free of his grasp but he just held her tighter. "You won't get away from me my dear," He said looking down at her. "You have his heart, and I'll use you to break it."

He placed his hand on her shoulder, grabbing a pressure point making her pass out into darkness. He carried the spider in over his shoulder and left a small token on her desk. "He'll know where to go. Come, we have places to be," Thanos ordered Maria as he walked out of the office. Maria followed behind.


	25. I don't see you as the fool

Phil walked around SHIELD getting himself reacquainted with everything. Not much had changed but he still wanted to be familiar with things. Fury had explained everything to the organization and everyone was in the know now. He was free to work again. But something puzzled him. Maria had said she would be on assignment and would check in every so often. She hadn't said what exactly it was but he trusted her. Walking past Agent Romanoff's office he saw that it was Spartan and hadn't been used for a while. She was normally there when she wasn't on assignment... and she hadn't been. Something was going on it seemed.

Loki had teleported himself into SHIELD, using his magic to change his Asgardian wear into something more Midgardian as he walked. He had been gone longer then he thought he would have been, it was easier said than done- trying to find a way to get rid of Thanos for good, to kill him… but there was still nothing. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, eyes dead set on the floor as he walked. They had found a way to trap him, make sure he wouldn't harm anyone for the time being, but it required a lot of magic. He was lost in thought, causing him to run into someone, almost knocking them down. "Pardon me," he said, looking up. "I wasn't looking where I...was...going?" The man he ran into...he had killed him...or well, Thanos had. "Coulson?" He asked with a tone of slight shock.

Phil had staggered backwards after running into someone after coming out of Natasha's office. He looked up and saw the face of the man who put him in the coma. Maria had told him that it wasn't Loki... but a being named Thanos. There was still a part of him that didn't trust it. But he trusted Maria... and Maria seemed to trust him. "Loki." He said simply looking at the god.

There was a moment of neither of them saying a word. Loki was shocked to see this man still breathing, let alone walking and talking. "Sorry about...that," he meant him almost killing him, though one could take it as though he was sorry for running into him.

Phil nodded. "Things happen. Sometimes it's not just you doing it." He said knowing both meanings and allowing his answer to be taken both ways as well. "Looking for someone?"

"In fact I am," Loki said, glancing into Natasha's office. "I'm looking for my partner."

Phil blinked seeing him look at Natasha's office. "I'm still getting used to things. And she's not here. I haven't seen her around for a few weeks actually. And from what I know... she's not on assignment."

Loki frowned slightly, worry flashing across his features. "That's...not normally like her," he muttered quietly. "Perhaps Maria knows where she is."

Phil shook his head. "She's nowhere to be found either. Said she was going on an assignment. I haven't heard from her in a few weeks." He hid his worry from the god behind is normal stoic features and tone.

Loki shook his head slightly. "Shouldn't she have given an update by now?" he asked, kidding most of the worry in his tone. He didn't like not knowing where Natasha was. Something could have happened and he wasn't here for her. He swore he'd protect her and he wasn't there for her.

"Exactly. We don't know what's happened." Phil said calmly stowing the worry that rose in his chest. His Maria was nowhere. He just got her a few weeks ago... and now she was gone. Along with Agent Romanoff. That was a feat very few managed to do. Especially when they were both agents. They were tracked everywhere when they were going on missions.

Loki saw past the Agent's mask but didn't say anything about it. "I'll go and see if Fury knows anything about it." He nods and looks around. "If you find anything... let me know." The god nodded and headed to Director Fury's office. He hoped he'd get something from the man in charge.

Loki had gotten nothing out of Fury and with a soft sigh, he went back to Natasha's office, frowning when something caught his eye. A bright, shining stone like the one that had been on his scepter...only smaller, was sitting on her desk. Phil had gone around training probationary agents and doing everything else he used to do before his... accident. There was something about Loki that did seem different. He pulled out his phone and tried again to contact Maria... but there was no answer. Worry started working through him and he knew no one else could see him crack. But what was going on?

Loki slowly reached out and picked up the stone, his breathing shaky. The god quickly teleported to Phil's location which was outside the building; training the rookies. "I think I know where they are..." he said quickly, looking at Phil.

Agent Coulson came close to dropping the equipment he had been teaching with hearing Loki's statement and his randomly appearing. "I will have to get used to that ability. And you do?" Loki handed him the stone, taking a deep breath. "They're on the Chatari's home planet...He as them...Thanos."

Phil looked at the stone that rested in his palm. "Thanos? Why?" Loki shook his head at Coulson's question. "If I had to guess...it's to use them as bargaining chips to get what he wants." After a long moment he spoke again, "I'm going to get them."

He blinked not sure why his Maria would be a bargaining chip at all. "I'm coming with you." He said sternly. "Someone should be there with you."

Loki looked back at the man, shaking his head at his brashness. "Do you really want to risk getting yourself killed?"

"You are for your partner aren't you? Seems you already did," he said looking at the god. "Maria told me about the second attack. You saved Agent Romanoff, by giving your life."

"You love her...don't you?" he asked, crossing his arms. "Only a fool, or someone in love would rush into the face of danger and risk it all." There was a pause before he continued his thought, "And I don't take you as a fool."

Agent Coulson sighed and looked up at Loki. "And which are you? The fool or the man I think you've changed to be who finds something stable in his life. Something similar to him in many respects."

Loki chuckled slightly at his words realizing the truth to them. "Perhaps I am both," he said before the pause to let him think for a moment. "Look...they can't kill me...I am immortal...you however can be killed." He ran his hand through his ebony hair as he asked the question, "Are you sure about this?"

"I 'died' once. I just want to be sure Maria is safe." He would admit to himself he was slightly frightened. But he wanted to fight for his wife. Much as it seemed Loki wanted to fight Thanos for reasons he guessed to be the control over him and taking Natasha.

Loki sighed softly but nodded in acceptance. "Alright then...let's get this over with." It took a lot of magic to get him to that realm, let alone with two people. He took a deep breath and teleported to an area on the dead planet that was hidden from view.

Phil blinked looking around. He had never been teleported, let alone to another planet. "That... is useful." He said looking around at the dead planet.


	26. Allies?

Loki pushed himself away from the rock he had been leaning against for support since the trip drained him. It took a lot of magic for him to come here alone, meaning it took a whole lot more to bring Phil along with him. He looked over at the Agent and stated calmly, "Let's go."

Phil watched the god with an eyebrow raised. "Are you alright?" He questioned the immortal.

"Yes, I will be fine," He replied simply, listening closely to his surroundings. Faintly her heard whispers, something he had never heard before, not here at least. Their voices were deep and animalistic. Looking over at Phil the god inquired, "Do you hear that?" It looked to Loki that Coulson may not have heard them, but as he thought about it… the realization became clearer. The voices sounded similar to his while he was transfigured into the Chitauri.

Phil nodded and replied quickly, "I heard them. But not anymore. I couldn't make anything out though. It sounded to… I don't even know the word. What are they?"

Loki's brows furrowed as he felt like he should go towards the voices. He looked into the distance, dazed and stunned that he could understand them. "You don't understand it?" He asked in a distant tone.

"No, I don't," Coulson replied. "You do I take it." Loki nodded and replied quietly. "I understand it as clearly as I understand you."

The older agent looked at the god asking, "What are they saying?"

The god focused on the sounds, and the more he focused, the more his eyes turned snakelike again. "Thanos plans on starting a complete take over. Starting with Midgard. He's looking for weaknesses of the Avengers, taking them out one by one until there is no one left to stand against his army," he stated, translating the language.

Phil blinked processing the translation and seeing Loki's eyes change. "Again?" He asked. "Wait, weaknesses? How would he know them?"

Loki shook his head slightly. "They're not saying," he stated simply. He blinked his eyes a few times and pulled his focus from the conversation, his eyes returning to normal. Coulson watched the transformation and blinked again. "Either way, this isn't going to be good."

Loki nodded slightly. "Agreed, follow me closely," he said before walking forwards towards the voices. Phil nodded and walked beside the god, looking around and taking in everything around him so he wouldn't be caught more off guard than he already was. As the pair walked towards the voices, Loki felt that heading towards the voices was a good idea. He didn't know why, but he was willing to take the chance.

Phil looked around, not quite sure if following Loki was the best idea since he wasn't sure of anything. But the thing was, he had no idea about this himself and Loki did. He watched Loki stop and heard the voices cease. As he saw the weapons pointed at him he stayed perfectly calm and stoic simply saying, "Not friendly."

Loki held his hands in front of him in a gesture of peace. "We are here only to get our friends back," Loki explained. The leader of the group looked at Loki and stepped forward. The language he spoke was indistinguishable to Phil. "Who are you? Who are your friends?"

"I am Loki, of Asgard and this is Phil of Midgard," Loki replied. "Our friends are human females. One with red hair like flames and the other with dark brown hair close to black."

The leader looked at the god and nodded. "They are with Thanos. How is it you understand us? And how do we know you are not a threat?" The Chitauri asked of Loki as Phil calmly looked around, not fazed by the situation at hand.

"The Other used the same device on me as he did you," Loki explained with a slight pain in his voice. "Though, some Midgardians managed to remove it from me. That may just be the reason why I can' understand you. As for why I did not see you as a threat, I am not too sure."

The leader looked to the others and motioned for them to lower their weapons that were trained on the god and mortal. "Not for why you didn't see us as a threat, but as to why we should not see you as one," he replied looking at the two before him. "Yet, you say you are friends with the new slaves of Thanos?"

"Because if we were threats, we would not be speaking with each other," Loki replied with a frown on his face, hearing the last words. "New slaves of Thanos?"

The leader nodded and looked at Loki. "Yes. They are the new slaves. Thanos takes trophies as he pleases. He treats them as slaves and they do his bidding, whatever it may be."

The immortal's hands curled into fists hearing the description of Natasha's predicament. "Has he hurt them?" Loki asked as Phil looked at Loki, not understanding the conversation but becoming concerned seeing Loki's fists clench. The Chitauri looked at Loki and stated, "I know not. I am not with those who follow the rule of Thanos. We are separate and intend to find the time to rise against him."

"How?" Loki asked quickly, looking up at the creature. "I believed that once you became a Chitauri, your mind was no longer your own."

"The more we distance ourselves from Thanos, the more we gain our minds," The creature explained to the god. "It has taken many years for us to be this way. But as we gain our minds, we keep them."

Loki nodded in understanding as he crossed his arms. "That is impressive," He mused. "Are you willing to help us destroy Thanos?" The leader nodded and looked around. "We do not know how. But perhaps you should see your friends first. We can get you to a place so you may see them."

"Thank you," Loki replied gratefully, bowing his head slightly. The leader nodded and motioned to Loki as he walked off with the others. Phil looked from Loki to the Chitauri that were walking away and wondered what had just transpired.


	27. Myself as a Trade

Thanos watched as his two new trophies brought him everything he asked for. The redhead was the one he was particularly fond of. While inside Loki's mind, he saw the way she treated him. She could get anything out of anyone. He appreciated that ability. That… and he figured that his traitor of a follower had some fondness for her. Should he try anything, she would be his leverage over the god. The dark haired one had gotten in the way. So he brought her along as well. She proved to be beneficial with the knowledge she held. He looked up and saw Loki striding towards him, with his hands curled into fists. "You should know by now not to take what does not belong to you, Thanos," Loki said in a voice that was deathly calm. "It always ends badly for you."

Thanos raised an eyebrow and smirked hearing his tone. "Everything belongs to me," he stated simply. "Everything will be mine. And are you saying, one of these delectable creatures is yours?" He smirked seeing Natasha sit next to him, and to make a point, he ran a hand over Natasha's cheek looking pointedly at Loki as he did so. "This one in particular. There's something special about her. The other is quite beautiful and very skilled."

Loki crossed his arms and looked at Thanos. "Funny how you must take the minds of people to get what you want," He said simply. "Either you are too lazy or too cowardly to take what you want yourself."

Thanos gave a chuckle and looked at the god. "Life is simpler what they do not have minds of their own. They do not resist, the do not fight. You didn't," He explained nonchalantly. "Things were much easier, weren't they? You didn't need to prove yourself to anyone there. You only had to follow orders that were given by me."

"And yet I was nothing more than a puppet. Unable to feel anything, unable to think," Loki retorted, his eyes narrowing. "Tell me what you want in return for letting these humans go free? There does not have to be any more bloodshed."

"I quite enjoy them," he said simply as he looked between the two women. Each wore the garb of a female slave, showing skin that had been decorated with color. The only solid fabric that covered them was on their chest and about their hips. Sheer fabric flowed from the decorative belts at their hips down to their ankles. Natasha had a choker around her neck that held a fine chain, but the chain was deceptively strong and heavy. "And there is nothing for you to give me that I do not already have. You have no power, nothing to give me," Thanos stated lazily, messing with a lock of Maria's chocolate hair.

From the back of the hall, Phil stood with the rebel Chitauri and glared watching the scene unfold before him. Loki watched as Maria leaned into Thanos' touch, closing her icy blue eyes slightly. "You do realize you will have a war on your hands if you don't give them back," Loki stated for the leader before him. "One that will wipe out your whole army."

Thanos chuckled and looked the god over. "Those poor excuse for life forms would not be able to do anything against my army. There are far more than you would imagine. And at one point, you had them for your bidding."

Loki felt a smirk tug at his lips at the words. "Oh, I am not talking about the Avengers. No," He stated calmly with a hint of something close to smug joy. "I'm talking about a few friends I just made… and I think they have unfinished business with you Thanos."

Thanos, now curious from Loki's statement, looked at the god and raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" He asked slightly amused. "You have friends, how interesting." He looked to Maria and Natasha, smiling as he said. "You two be on your way. I shall call if I want anything else."

Natasha nodded before standing up and curtsying to Thanos, then retreating to another room. Maria stood and mimicked Natasha's movements before following the redhead. Loki watched the two women leave before turning back to Thanos. "Oh yes, and they think you've been in charge for far too long."

"Well then, they will be killed along with anyone else that resists me. I am the supreme ruler of the galaxy."

"Well, we shall see about that," Loki said, motioning for the rebel Chitauri to come into view. Thanos looked over and saw the rebel force walk into view. Loki got his magic ready as he watched the scene. "You are outnumbered, Thanos," he called.

Thanos gave a dark chuckle as he relaxed in his chair. "You would think that," He said with an arrogance in his tone. "Yet, I believe you'll stand down the instant you hear something." He snapped his fingers and as the sound resounded through the hall a scream came in reply echoing through the hall in the snap's place. Coulson looked towards the origin of the scream and tried to figure out if it was one or two voices he hear, and if it was one… then whose.

Loki growled darkly, eyes narrowing. He knew that scream, he had heard it when Natasha was detoxing. "Stop! STOP!" He called out. "What if I offer myself up as a trade?" He looked down at the floor, hoping that once the two girls were free the rebels would strike.

Thanos smirked looking over the immortal. "You _do_ feel for her," He mused with a delighted smirk. "The only thing I want is what you failed to give me that first time." He stood and walked to Loki. "You… a god… falling for a mortal. Tell me… will you miss her when she goes? Will you remember her always? Or will she fade from your mind when you've found someone new?"

The god growled quietly saying, "Just let them go. I will not ask again," He ordered. Thanos smirked again at the order. "I shall release one. You on your own is nothing. You failed me once. Perhaps… you will enjoy us a bit longer if you have company," He stated turning to the side of the room. Making a motion with his hand he watched as two Chitauri led Maria to them. "She will go. Your human shall stay. Consider it… an incentive to give me what I want."

The entire duration of their conversation, Loki had been thinking of the spell to trap Thanos. When Maria was freed from her hold, she blinked a few times, confused for a moment before her eyes landed on Thanos. "YOU!" She hissed venomously, running at him only to be held back by two of the rebel Chitauri. They knew that her charging at him would mean death since she was unarmed.

The sinister smirk on Thanos' face grew. "Yes. Me," he said snidely. "And thank you for the information you gave me. I'll be sure to take care of them."

Maria struggled against the Chitauri holding her. "You sonofabitch!" she growled darkly at the smug being on the throne. Loki waved the two away knowing that, to Thanos, it would seem like he was telling them to hand her over to his mortal companion. But the truth of the matter was that it was the signal to tell them to continue with the plan no matter what happened. Thanos couldn't help the delighted smile that came from her insult. "She's fiery, but not like the other. It took her a while to calm down and be compliant."

Phil held onto Maria's arms as she was handed over to him and he couldn't look away from the scene that was there. He watched Loki turn himself over and knew that following through with the plan was now up to him. He narrowed his eyes as Thanos accepted Loki's offer, keeping him, and dismissed the others. The rebel Chitauri leader made a motion and it must mean for them to follow. Holding onto Maria he made his way out with the rebel Chitauri knowing, and hoping, that everything would turn out alright for the other two agents.


	28. Before You Left

Thanos had agreed to keep Loki and let him enter the room where his pet was staying. Watching the Rebels leave he figured there might be something to watch for... but he didn't pay it much mind. Instead he waited and wondered how long it would take for him to have the both of them, and also thought of the best ways to keep Loki under his control.

Natasha sat on a chaise lounge in the room, holding the chain that attached to her choker. She was bleeding across her clavicle but paid it no mind. She wasn't instructed to tend to it. So she didn't. She sat and waited for someone to tell her what to do. After all... she was his slave.

Loki looked at her with soft eyes, kneeling in front of her. "Tasha?" he asked quietly, looking up into her eyes. Odd...they were normal in color, though they had a blank stare to them. With a shaky breath he reached out to touch her arm. She wasn't under the same type of control he had been under. "My little spider...what has he done to you?"

Natasha looked off into space not registering that someone was in fact talking to her. She didn't notice the hand on her arm, everything was blank in her mind. He looked down to see her bleeding. With a quiet sigh he placed his hand on the wound an muttered a simple healing spell. He then looked back into her eyes, cupping her chin so that she was looking back into his. "Tasha...I know you are in there...I saw everything that happened when I was under his control," he said quietly, remembering everything while he was under Thanos' control. There was a pause in his speech before he continued, "Please...give me some sort of sign that you can hear me...no matter how small."

Natasha looked into his eyes and felt tears well in her own. It was the same feeling she got when Maria had told her about her lost child. The helpless feeling that she couldn't control. And it was making her angry. A single tear streamed down her cheek as she looked into his eyes. In her mind she was screaming to say something! Screaming and begging that he would unlock her so she could tell him the news before Thanos did. She needed to tell him, it had to be her.

Loki swallowed thickly and nodded, gently wiping the tear from her cheek with his thumb, recognizing that this was what he asked for. "Ok... it's ok," he placed a kiss to her forehead, closing his eyes. He let his lips linger for a moment before he pulled back to look into her eyes. "I will set you free from this. I swear." She stayed perfectly still as he wiped the tear from her cheek and closed her eyes feeling him close to her. She had been clawing at the cage she was kept in, hating the feeling of being replaced... having someone else inside her head controlling her. She'd been through it enough. She felt a silent sob rack her chest and she opened her eyes resuming the blank stare that was her normal state when she was not with her master.

Loki rested his forehead on hers, holding her small and warm hands in his larger and colder ones. "Natasha... I'm sorry I was gone for so long," he apologized quietly. "If I would have been there...I could have kept you safe," he whispered. "I tried to get back, but they needed me to help them look for a way to end him once and for all." He squeezed her hands knowing she was scared and wanted to be freed from Thanos. He knew that because he had wanted it as well, and she had had this done to her already, and it terrified her as she had admitted to him before. Softly he placed a kiss to her lips, needing the sentiment to reach her somehow. "Tasha..."

She looked into his eyes and tried to convey her understanding. She clenched her hand, her thumb messing with the cool metal on her finger putting her at ease. The ring he gave her, the one of a kind ring that was his promise to her that they would be together for as long as she was alive, being mortal and him immortal. His kiss had started working something inside her, the promise he made to her. It only strengthened her reserve to fight back against the hold on her.

"Listen...I do not have much time left before Thanos claims my mind once again," he whispered quietly, cupping her face in his hands. "I need you to come back...I need you to fight for control." It was easier said than done, yes...but he knew she could do it. If anyone could, she could. She was strong and had the conviction to fight as he didn't before.

She moved her hand to his on her face trying to let him know that she was fighting, but not necessarily winning. She needed to tell him. Before Thanos would. "L-Loki..." She whispered.

"I'm here," He replied in a comforting tone. "You need to fight it Tasha. You can do it, I know you can." He looked at her features, scared that there would be no way for her to come back to him. She bit her lip and looked at him. "It's not just me." She said before a shiver ran through her. She knew what caused her to be cold occasionally. She removed his hand from her cheek and looked into his eyes. Shaking her head she curled up and put her hands on her temples.

Loki frowned slightly. "Nat...hey, focus on me." He placed his hands on her shoulders as he continued. "Focus...on...me, please." He encouraged and pleaded with her. "Y-You're the one... W-Who sa-said t-to fight her!" She managed out. Her fingers laced themselves in her hair and she brought her knees up to her chest, as best she could being near three months along.

Loki shook his head remembering the pain that he had gone through when he tried to fight back. "Natasha, just remember I'm here with you," he affirmed as he squeezed her shoulders softly. "I always will be." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, back in control of her body and mind. "I know... And I don't know how long I'm able to stay this way. But I have to tell you something. This isn't the way I wanted to do it but... I need to!"

Loki nodded, somewhat frantically hearing the urgency in her voice. "Yes my love, you can tell me anything. You know you can." She took his hand in hers and placed it on her slightly cooler abdomen. "You left me with something... before you left." She smiled slightly at him, hoping he would understand what she meant.

Loki was confused, though only for a split second before he caught on. He looked at her for a moment before looking down at where his hand was resting, letting out a deep breath. His features had a look of awe on them at the realization of what she said. "Nat..." he whispered quietly, caressing her stomach with his thumb. She smiled at his reaction and bit her lip turning her head to the side before turning back. "We're going to be parents." She looked down and whispered, "And I'm scared. I don't want our child to end up hurt... o-or broken."

Loki shook his head slightly at her worries, dismissing them and moving to sit next to her. "No, It won't end up broken or hurt." He wrapped his arms around her, running his fingers through her hair as he continued. "Yes, we may not be the best parents...but I'm sure that we won't let anything happen to it."

She held him close and sniffled. "I-I'm just... worried. I'm an assassin and you're a god. Our lives aren't very conducive to raising children." She was worried. They would have to live a different life with their children or else she'd have to give up her work. It would drive her crazy for a while, being home and domestic for the rest of her life. "We will find a way," he whispered soothingly, running his hand through her hair.

Natasha nodded and smiled at his reassurances. "I love you, Loki," She said quietly. Closing her eyes she rested against his body, wanting the contact of him against her. She'd been alone for so long she just wanted him to hold her, even if she was clad indecently for him. "And I love you, Natasha," he replied in a voice just above a whisper before he placed a kiss to the top of her head. He was glad she was able to snap out of Thanos' control. He always knew she was strong enough to keep her own mind. And if she lost it, she would be strong enough to get it back. Natasha knew that if she didn't keep focused, that if she didn't have a reason to stay this way... she'd revert back to the empty-headed bimbo she had been. But she had that reason, and it was for her lover and their child. She needed to be focused for them.

Loki sighed softly, trying to capture the moment in his mind before Thanos took it from him once again. He glanced up when he heard someone coming, seeing that it was two Chitauri coming in, with the intention to get him. "Tasha..." he whispered. "Love...I have to...go."

Natasha frowned knowing this, right now, might be the last time she saw Loki as her fiance before having to fight him once again. "I love you. Please... do what you can to stay with me. I-I can't hurt you! I can't!" She pleaded quietly, holding him close to her.

Loki nodded softly, pulling her into a kiss. "I will try my best," he whispered before standing, following the two Chitauri out and back towards the throne room. She watched him walk away and rested her hand over her stomach. "No matter what happens little one, your father loves us," She whispered to herself before humming the melody Loki had sang her to sleep with a few times with a tear rolling down her cheek.


	29. This will not be easy

Maria was still struggling as she was dragged away from the throne room by the rebels "We can't just leave them there!" She argued. Phil looked at Maria and sighed. "We won't," He said firmly. Turning to look at her he grabbed her shoulders and asked. "What happened? Tell me everything."

Maria looked at him and frowned. "I...was trying to keep Agent Romanoff safe...next thing I knew I woke here," She explained quietly. "Safe?" He asked perplexed. "She's perfectly capable of protecting herself."

Maria paused, a soft frown tugging at her lips as she thought "Well...she..." The assassin trusted her with the secret. She didn't want to break that trust, but he was her husband. She knew he could trust him. Phil looked at his wife and held her hand. "She... what?" Phil asked, searching his wife's face for a shred of a notion of what she was hiding.

"Promise me as both my husband and my partner that you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you," she said quietly, figuring that he needed to know. "I promise," he said. "What's so important?"

Maria bit her lower lip and exhaled sharply. "She is...in the same position that I was in...with our...little secret," She admitted calmly. Looking up at her husband she watched the emotions run across his face. Phil looked at Maria in a mixture of shock and confusion. "She... She is?"

"Yes," Maria replied quietly. "She and Loki are much closer than you think." He had nothing to say. It was not his place to say anything in that matter. They themselves had done it. "Then if they need anything... we'll help them."

Maria nodded slightly in reply. "In all truth-I thought it would be Barton," She admitted nonchalantly. "We all did," He admitted. "You know there were agents who placed bets on if they were together or not during their missions."

"And how much did you lose on that bet?" Maria asked with a slight smile. "Five dollars," He admitted quietly. Maria felt a slight smile tug at her lips "Five dollars? I'm out seven."

Phil looked at her and gave her a half smile. "Why seven?" He asked, wanting to know her reasons. She always had a reason for a number. "It has always been a lucky number for me...I guess it's not anymore," she stated as she chuckled softly.

"Hey. We'll never know." He pulled her into a hug. "I missed you." Maria hugged him tightly in return. "I missed you too," she muttered into his shoulder. "I thought I was never going to see you again." He held her in the embrace not wanting to let go again. "I thought he told you. I'm sorry."

"I know...but I meant that...I thought Thanos would kill me once he was done with me," She said quietly. Phil held Maria closer and smiled. "I know. But we're good. We have you." Maria nodded in agreement and looked up at her husband as he continued, "Now, we need to find a way to get Loki and Natasha out of this."

_**oOo**_

Thanos sat on his throne, waiting for his once faithful servant to return to him. He was cruel in that he let the god see his mortal, only so it would be the last time each of them saw the other as their lover. Thanos would have Loki's mind, and he may even force the god to kill the mortal with his own hands. And possibly even destroy the child as well. But a half-breed might come in use to him.

Each step was harder and harder for Loki to take, his stomach twisting in knots. Once he was in front of Thanos, one of the Chitauri forced him to his knees, holding him there. Thanos smirked seeing the god kneeling before him. "You know what I seek Loki, of Asgard," he said simply staring down at the kneeling god.

"Indeed I do, Thanos," he growled, glaring up at him. "You seek the Tesseract. But I do not know of its location," he shrugged simply. It was true. Thor had kept it hidden from him in case something such as this would happen again.

"You lie Trickster," He said standing from his seat. "You tell me where it is." Loki shook his head, a slight smirk on his lips. "Even if I did know...I would never tell you."

"Even if it meant risking your unborn child?" he asked with a grin. He stepped towards Loki and looked at him as he circled the kneeling man. "Your friend I released told me everything I wanted to know. Your human has been pining for you, sick every morning, freezing all the while because of the ice you put inside her..."

Loki felt himself freeze up, his jaw clenching. "Leave them out of this," he said calmly. "I told you, I was not allowed to know the location of the Tesseract. They kept it hidden from me."

"I don't think I will. They are the best thing we have," he continued his slow circuit around the god. "I think you can get it from someone... your brother. Tell him the truth about what will go on, see if he believes you. Tell him that his friend carries your child and should he not comply both of them shall perish. If he believes you and gives you what you seek... then all is well. But should you fail... she will make a lovely addition to my collection." He stopped and looked down at Loki. "And as an insurance policy..." He placed his hand on the top of Loki's head, bringing back the control he had over Loki before. "This will make sure I see as you do. No mistakes. If you do something wrong you will hear her screams, hear her cries and know there is nothing you can do to save them."

Loki struggled slightly when Thanos placed his hand on the top of his head. He felt himself being caged, shoved away in the back of his mind, he fell forward, having to hold his hands out to catch himself. Slowly his eyes became fully black before becoming the same blue as they had been. The odd thing about it though was that he still had his own thoughts and he could control his movements.

"Now. Go and do what you have been ordered. If you fail, shall I remind you of what you will hear?" He asked raising a hand ready to give the signal.

"No! Don't...I'll go. Just leave her be," Loki said quickly, scrambling to his feet. "The...The Tesseract will be yours." he then quickly teleported to Asgard, knowing Maria and Phil would be safe with the rebels, and that if he went, Natasha and their child would be safe from harm. He stumbled slightly when his feet hit the solid ground of the realm he grew up in. This, would not be easy to do.

_**oOo**_

Thanos smirked seeing the god leave. He went, sat back on his throne, and looked around with his arms on the chair. "And All Shall Be Mine."


	30. And I Always Will

Loki was pale, his breathing shaky as he rushed to find his big brother. He was afraid, afraid that he would lose Natasha and his unborn child. The god didn't care what happened to him, not anymore. He had to do everything he could to save the woman he loved and the child she carried inside her.

Thor sighed as he paced around the halls of Asgard. He had been looking for his brother but Loki was nowhere to be found. He always seemed to be disappearing when they needed him. Loki saw Thor up ahead and picked up his pace to catch up to the god of Thunder. "Brother!" he said in almost a panicked tone. "Brother...I-I need your help. He has them. He-he has her!"

Thor looked at his brother and raised an eyebrow. "Loki where have you been? We have need of you and who has whom?"

"Thanos," Loki blurted out quickly. "Thanos has Natasha." He looked at his brother with his now icy blue eyes. "He won't let them go without the Tesseract!"

"He has the Lady Natasha?" he asked concerned. He noticed the eyes and narrowed his own. "How can I be sure brother? This may be one of your illusions to gain the powers of the Tesseract so you may take the Realm of Midgard as your own."

Loki was hurt, even his own brother did not believe him any longer. He thought he had given his brother the proof to trust and believe him when he decided to stay with Natasha on Midgard and fighting alongside the Avengers against The Other, becoming an Avenger himself in a sense. "After everything that has happened with us since your return to Midgard...you do not believe me?" He asked sadly. Shaking his head he continued quietly, "Please, if I lose her..."

Thor believed his brother through everything but he had to be sure that this was for the good of someone, not just his brother. "We shall save her brother," He put a hand on Loki's shoulder, moving his hand to rest on Loki's neck as he had when he asked Loki the first time to come home. "But please... why does Thanos have Natasha?"

Loki was silent for a moment, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "Thanos has Natasha. He wants the Tesseract and if I don't come with it… he'll hurt her. he muttered, heart breaking at the thought of anymore harm coming to either of them.

Thor blinked, stunned that his brother was so torn up about someone hurting a mortal-knowing Loki's view on them as being pathetic and weak, and then frowned. "We shall not allow any more harm to befall our friends. I shall give you what you seek," He said quietly, thinking up a plan to hopefully trick both the Trickster and the one who controlled him.

Loki nodded quickly, roughly wiping the tears from his eyes. "Thank you, brother." Thor nodded and smiled slightly. "You will have to keep us informed about her. Mother and father should like to know that you are happy with someone. Not to mention mother and her want to celebrate each of us joining with women," he said, the last bit through a chuckle. "Mother has always been fond of thinking up weddings."

Loki gave a slight nod. "She has been waiting for the day to think of one of ours," he looked down at the floor for a moment. Thor looked at his brother, confused by him looking at the floor. "Is something the matter brother? What have you to worry about?"

"Thanos will never quit, brother." Loki muttered, looking up at him. He shook his head then continued. "Look, just give me the Tesseract so I can get this over with."

Thor sighed and nodded. "I know what you seek brother. And I trust that you will do what is right," he said before turning his back on Loki. "Wait here and I shall retrieve it for you." He walked away, hoping the plan he had in his mind would work.

Loki nodded slightly, leaning against the wall nearest him. Just hang in there. I need the both of you to hang on," He whispered to himself, closing his eyes. "Please."

Thor walked through the halls of Asgard and sighed. He hadn't seen Loki with this much conviction for a long time. He really did care for the Lady Natasha. The plan was simple in his mind. Odin had feared Thanos would still search for the Tesseract. Using his power and massive amounts of dark energy, he created an exact replica. No one would know it was not the true Tesseract, until they tried to use it for something massive like ruling a universe. He grabbed the replica and headed back to his brother.

Once Loki had the 'Tesseract' in his hands he nodded towards Thor. "Thank you… brother," He muttered quietly before leaving. Thor nodded in reply. "Be safe my brother. We will do what we can to help." He watched his brother leave, before turning back and working on a way to free his brother and his friend, and rid the realms of Thanos permanently.

_**oOo**_

Loki quickly made his way back to his master- no. To Thanos. He took a shaky breath and looked at the purple skinned titan. "I have brought what you asked for, Thanos," He said, holding up the 'Tesseract'. "Now free them." Thanos smirked and looked at the object in Loki's hands. "I knew I had the right leverage," he stated smugly as he walked over and took the cube. "Should I require you again… you will come. I am inside her mind as well. Do not think that just because I let you go, I cannot use her against you."

"Please… just free her completely. I-I will…" He paused as he fell to his knees. "You can keep me. I will… forever be your loyal servant. Just please," He begged, looking up at the creature that would have his mind. "I will give you everything… please."

Thanos watched the god fall to his knees and beg. "You are begging for the life of a pathetic mortal… because she carries your offspring? Is this love?" He asked, reminiscent to Loki's own query to Natasha while he was locked in the cell in the Helicarrier.

Loki was shaking, tears streaming down his cheeks as he kept muttering, "Please… please, just let her live her life." Never in his life would he have thought that he would freely give his mind over to Thanos… or anyone, for someone else.

Thanos rolled his eyes and turned from the god. "You are weak. You are pathetic. I thought you to be more." He snapped his fingers and two of his Chitauri left momentarily. He smirked as he heard the female voice yelling, "GET YOUR CLAWS OFF ME! DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!"

Loki stayed on his knees, taking a few shaky breaths. "Perhaps I am, Thanos," he stated quietly. "But by freeing her… you have gained me as your servant." He fell silent for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "When you first took my mind, my magic was not at its full strength."

Thanos nodded, hearing the prince's words. "This I know," he stated as he watched the minions bring in a struggling Natasha. She was trying her best, which at the moment was not at its best, to escape their clutches. She had gotten in a few good licks to the Chitauri holding her. They unceremoniously tossed her to the floor, and she rolled and slid towards Loki and Thanos. She curled up instinctively, protecting her torso and her unborn child and winced as she came to her final resting place. She uncurled herself and winced trying to sit up, glaring over at the two minions and then to Thanos.

Loki looked once at Thanos before quickly moving over to Natasha and pulling her into his arms, protecting her and their unborn child from Thanos and the Chitauri. He looked back at Thanos, his eyes almost pleading for him to free her. "Thanos… she is just a mortal… and no longer of use to you."

Natasha curled into Loki and looked up at him, her eyes sad and tears pooling in them. Thanos looked at the two and smirked. "She is of every use to me. You see it as I do. She is your weakness, as is the spawn she carries. They are your ultimate weakness. And should you fail me again… you will watch as I hunt them down, and torture her in every way the Hawk confided in you that she hates, and I'll do the same to the offspring as well."

Loki nodded, staying quiet. "I will do whatever you ask of me… and I will not fail you. Just, let her live out her life," he stated quietly, running his fingers through Natasha's soft, crimson curls. She looked up at Loki, hearing his words. "N-No. Y-You can't!" Tears ran down her face as she continued. "I-I can't do this by myself…" She curled up into his chest crying. "Please," she muttered, her voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt. "Don't leave me."

"You have to think about the safety of our child, love," Loki whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Find Coulson and Maria… they'll make sure you are safe," he continued as his eyes closed, a sad smile on his face. "I always liked the name Rowena for a little girl." He held her close for another moment before whispering, "I love you… and I always will."

She sniffled and looked up at him, with a steel and fire in her eyes. "I hate you for doing this to me," she said coldly. "You give me a child, leave to Asgard for months, I tell you I'm scared about bringing a life into this world, and you push me away when I need you most." She got out of his embrace and stood up, looking to Thanos. She wanted to say something… to scream and yell and show her unhappiness with the monster before her. But she knew if she fought, she would be in danger, as would her child and Loki. She turned back to look at Loki, her face covered with the trademark stoic expression she wore. The only addition to it were the tears that fell from her emerald eyes. "If you ever want us again… you will be welcomed," She said quietly before turning back to Thanos. "Well?"

Thanos nodded and released her from his control. "Get out of my sight," he ordered. With those words, Natasha left the room, not taking another look back at Loki, knowing that if she did… she wouldn't be able to leave.

Loki knew… he knew that if he was with her, she would be in danger… as would their child. He looked up at Thanos, waiting for his mind to be taken for good. It was a price he was willing to pay to keep his family safe. "Just, leave them be once you rule the nine realms," he pleaded quietly.

Thanos looked at Loki. "You give yourself willingly for something so trivial as love of a mortal. She will live far less than you, yet… you give everything away for her. You are pathetic." He stood in front of Loki, and pulled a stone similar to the one he had left in Natasha's office out, placing it in Loki's hand. The stone became another scepter upon touching Loki's palm. "With this… you will do as you were once ordered. Am I clear?"

Loki felt the cool metal of the scepter in the palm of his hand, the Tesseract's power creeping through him, relaxing his mind and body. His eyes closed as all his thoughts, all his memories were removed, only to be replaced by one thought. Follow Thanos, his master… any orders he gave was one to be completed, even if it meant his life. Slowly he nodded, his eyes opening and looking up at his master. "You wish for me to destroy the Avengers."

"Yes. I wish for you to destroy the Avengers and conquer the Earth. Then you will move to Asgard. You will take the nine realms, for me," Thanos ordered.

He bowed his head, a dark smirk on his lips. "Yes sir," he said as he stood up. "The nine realms will be yours, and the Avengers will be dead." With that he teleported out of the throne room leaving Thanos alone with a smirk on his lips.


	31. By Myself

**A/N: Hello my lovely reviewers, readers, and just wonderful people! You all are AMAZING! I'd like to thank AvengerNerd3, Sunshine-Midnight123, BVBlover4ever, and KeepCalmandKissDrSpencerReid for continuing to tell us how you like our story and that to work on. You all are amazing! **** All of you are! Thank you for reading and enjoy your day!**

Maria leaned on one of the rock formations, looking up at the sky. For a planet such as this… the sky was actually… quite beautiful. Phil looked over at Maria and then up at the sky. He heard something a ways off and it sounded like crying. "Maria… do you hear that?" he asked cautiously.

Her brows furrows and she nodded, heading towards the noise. She froze when she saw Natasha, though after a moment she went to the crying assassin's side. "Natasha?" She asked quietly. Phil walked with Maria and was shocked to see the Black Widow crying. Natasha looked up at Maria and tried to stop crying. The tears hadn't stopped since Loki gave himself over. "L-Loki… H-he's…. Thanos…" She managed out through sobs.

Maria placed her hands on the spy's shoulders. "Natasha, try to calm down," she said comfortingly. "I don't understand." Natasha searched Maria's face with her gaze and tried to calm down enough to relay what she knew. "Loki's with Thanos!" She blurted out quickly. "H-He did it for us!" With that she broke down into sobs again, resting her face in her hands. "H-He sent me away! I-I can't do this by myself! I can't!"

Phil was confused. Very confused. He had no clue what to do with the crying Natasha, and the information she provided. Maria wrapped her arms around the crying woman to calm her. "Shhh, it's going to be ok," She stated comfortingly. "He… He'll find a way out of it." She looked up at her husband and frowned, worry was clearly written on her features. Natasha cried into Maria's shoulder, unable to stop the flood of tears cascading down her cheeks. Phil saw the worry in Maria's face and had no idea how to comfort either of them. This was nothing he was ever trained for. "He's a smart man, Natasha," He said simply. "He'll get out of this. He will."

Maria sighed softly and helped the pregnant woman stand up. She led the crying mother-to-be back to the rebel camp. There they could feed her and give her some water. Natasha frowned and wiped her eyes, trying to control the waves of tears. Phil walked with the women, helping Natasha and his world upside-down from seeing one of the strongest women he know from SHIELD in tears. This was probably the hormones from her pregnancy talking but…he felt there might be genuine tears there as well. Now they had to figure out a way to get back to Earth and warn Fury and the others.

_**oOo**_

The rebel Chitauri had found a way to send Phil, Maria, and Natasha back to Earth. After a few weeks back, Natasha was gone. The only two who knew where she was, were Phil and Maria. They took care of her getting the leave of absence and made sure that she had everything she needed.

Natasha sighed and looked around the house she had bought out in the country. It was a rather large size, she didn't really need it, but she bought it because she wanted her child to feel like the prince, or princess, they were. She hated being alone with this child and wasn't adapting to this domestic life well. She was antsy, anxious, and felt as though everyone was judging her. She wished she had someone to help ease her into this, someone to help her deal with everything. But, that option wasn't available. Sure Phil and Maria checked in on her, but it wasn't the same as having someone with her all the time to help her through the emotional and physical turmoil she was facing. The mood swings, the cravings, the morning sickness, the aching… she just wanted someone there to keep her…sane. She looked up at the sky from the porch swing she was sitting on and rested a hand over her abdomen that was growing with the weeks she was away. "Things will be alright little one," She said calmly. "But I won't promise I won't hit him first before we take him back. You agree with me right? I know you do. He didn't need to do that to us. But… he did. He thought he was taking care of us. And I guess he was right. But it still hurts doesn't it?"

She sat on the swing and quietly sang a song that would become the baby's lullaby. She felt it was something that meant a lot to her. She would sing it when she felt lonely, and when she felt upset. She did it to remind her that she wasn't going to be alone again. She had a bit of him with her and she would enjoy every moment with the life inside her.

"I just hope he's alright," She said to no one in particular. She was so far removed from the world, that she didn't know the turmoil that could take place. She was in a new life. One far from the life she had, to make sure her child wasn't hurt by anything.


	32. Brother

Thor had gone to Midgard to inform director Fury about Loki's situation, leaving out that Natasha was a part of his life and that Loki had feelings for her, knowing that discretion would go far. What he didn't expect while he was staying waiting for the imminent attack on Earth, was Loki showing up alone. He had the same air about him as he did the last time they fought against one another. He had been completely taken by Thanos… meaning the bluff had worked. "Brother?" Thor questioned looking at Loki.

Loki turned to face his brother, a slight smirk on his lips. "Ah, 'brother'. Come to save the day again?" he asked, chuckling darkly. He pointed the scepter at Thor and continued. "You are foolish. Do you not see that you are but a pawn in Fury's little group? Let alone Odin… you are nothing but a throne warmer for when he wants to go to sleep."

Thor glared and raised Mjolnir. "Brother, I wish not to fight you. What has happened to return you to this state? Do you not think of the woman you love? Of the woman you courted? Think of what you are doing!" he pleaded with Loki. "Give up this quest and return to her."

The trickster gave a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "You mean that mortal? She means nothing, she never did," He said coldly. "Unlike you I cannot fall in love with something as meaningless as a human."

The blonde thunderer blinked hearing his brother's words. "This is not the way you spoke of her when you asked for the Tesseract. What has happened to you? You will not harm anyone on this realm. And should you do something that shall harm Natasha I swear to you that you will not find your life pleasant."

"And who is going to stop me? You?" He asked, beginning to circle his brother like a cat would its prey. "I know you Thor. You won't do a thing to me! You still think your poor little brother is just misunderstood."

"I know that my brother is a good man," Thor stated calmly. "He would not do this after he gave his life to save the 'meaningless human' you claim to not hold affections for. Give up now Loki. I will do whatever I have to protect my friends and this world."

"So be it," Loki said with a dark smirk. He shot a blue beam from the scepter at Thor and the fight was on. Metal clanged against metal as Thor swung Mjolnir, hitting it against the scepter as Loki blocked the moves. Each of them got their fair share of hits and misses as the fight between brothers ensued. Thor hated having to harm his brother, but Natasha had told him of how she opened the archer's mind, and that was through hitting him over the head, very hard. He figured he'd need to do that for his brother, since the large green one was not around the help him. After many more hits and misses, Thor finally got a good one in, sending his brother back into a concrete wall. There he hit his head and then slumped to the floor.

Loki fumbled to stand up, everything a blur to the prince. The fight with his brother and all the things he had said were the most blurry. He had tried everything he could to stop, but it was of no use. Looking up at his brother, his eyes a teal color he asked, "Br-Brother?" His voice was similar to that of a quiet and timid child, knowing they had done something wrong and not wishing to receive punishment.

The blonde god looked down at Loki and shook his head. His eyes had yet to return to the emerald he knew them to be. The tone reminded him of their fights as children and he furrowed his brows in sadness and regret. "I did not wish to harm you, brother," Thor stated quietly. "But you needed this. You gave up everything you held dear. You must learn that giving in is not always the best course of action. You must show that you will do what is necessary to end the evils that will be caused. You are an agent of SHIELD, yet you will follow someone with their wicked schemes."

Tears were in Loki's eyes as he tried to comprehend what was happening. What had he done? Had he hurt anyone? His gaze turned towards the scepter in his hand, the one that was pointed at his brother. He dropped it, the metal hitting the ground with a loud clang.

Thor looked at his little brother and frowned. "Loki, you are lucky that it was only me who found you. But I am not the one you harmed. It was someone who means far more to you than I. And I believe they will not be happy with you," he said in the same quiet tone, but this was laced with a tone of sadness. He placed Mjolnir on the ground and held a hand out to Loki. "Brother you must do whatever is necessary for you to get her back. Your parting from what I know… was not the best."

Loki took his brother's hand and steadied himself. "I am… a risk to her," He muttered quietly, looking away from the god of thunder. "I have done too much, and I know now that I do not deserve forgiveness, nor do I deserve to be happy. Each of those… will come from her."

Thor shook his head and looked at his brother intently. "Loki. You deserve to be happy. Everyone does," He stated with a slight smile and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "You deserve everything every other person should get."

Loki looked back at his brother and frowned. "How long?" he asked, after a brief period of silence, trying to find the words. "How long was I under his control? Did I hurt anyone?"

"I am unsure what you did to whom or for how long you were controlled," Thor admitted sadly. "If I did... I would tell you. You came to me for the Tesseract, and you were not completely controlled." Loki closed his eyes, turning away from him. "Where is Natasha now?" he asked, wanting to know where she was so he could apologize and hopefully earn her forgiveness. Thor shook his head. "That I know not. But I believe... she would be some place you would least expect her. I have not seen her..."

Loki nodded softly before stating, "I must search for her." There was a pause before he continued his thoughts. "Thank you for bringing me back, big brother." With that being said, Loki was gone. Thor nodded and sighed. "Good luck brother," he said to the empty space where he brother had been standing. He honestly wished his brother luck. And hoped that he'd find what he looked for.


	33. Bad Natasha

It had been what? A week, maybe two? He had to beg Maria and Coulson to tell him where Natasha was, but it had paid off. So here he was, standing outside of a small house in the country. He tried to think of what was going to happen, and prepare himself for what would come from Natasha. She must be angry with him. And she probably got rid of every reminder of him.

Natasha was upstairs in a bedroom, the windows open because she was painting the nursery. She decided to paint it a neutral color since she wanted to be surprised about the child. A nice pale yellow graced the walls and she was humming a song she remembered from somewhere. It might have been from her mother. But she felt someone watching her and she shrugged it away knowing no one knew where she was.

Loki took a shaky breath, using his shape-shifting ability to change himself into a magpie. He flapped his wings pushing himself off the ground and fluttering up to one of the open windows sill knowing she was in the room from the melody he heard. He landed there and stayed silent, just watching her.

She sighed, setting down the paint brush and ceasing her quiet humming. She looked around the room smiling a bit. It looked like the picture she had resting on the cabinet covered by a sheet. Only instead of blue and pink she had put green and purple. The two colors reminded her of the two most important people she had in her life... at one point. She ran from one, and the other pushed her away. Resting a hand on her slightly distended abdomen she frowned. "You will be loved little one. You will be the most special child around, and I know that people may hurt you... but in the end... you will be happy and loved."

Loki felt his heart beat quicken, he had never meant to push her away. All he ever wanted to do was to protect her, in any way he knew how...giving his mind to Thanos had set her free. He sighed softly, it having come out as a soft chirp. Natasha heard the chirp and tilted her head seeing the bird in the window. She moved to the window and sat on the chair looking at the bird. "You're a little out of the way aren't you?" She rested her hand on the window sill, the engagement ring glittering in the light. She hadn't removed it because she hoped that the man who gave it to her would come back. She was mad at him. She was... but she still loved him.

Loki tilted his head to the side so he could see her, the glint of the ring catching his eye. So...she kept it? She kept the ring he had given her as a promise that they would be together forever. He gave another chirp, ruffling his black feathers before flying into the room, landing at her feet.

She was very confused. She pulled her legs up into the chair, wondering why exactly a bird flew into the room when they normally flew away. She sat there, holding her knees to her chest, staring at the little black bird on the floor. She was at a loss for words and it was new. Another chirp came from him before he returned to his normal, Asgardian form. "Tasha..."

Her eyes narrowed seeing him standing there. She uncurled herself and stood up to her full height... and she was still really short. Without a word she slapped him hard across the face and choked out a sob as tears started to fall from her face. Loki wasn't surprised that she had hit him; after all...she was hurting. When she let out a sob, he carefully wrapped his arms around her saying, "Natasha...I am sorry."

She pushed him back and shook her head. "I-I told you... I was scared. And what do you do? You leave me alone! You... just... I can't..." She turned on her heels and walked out of the room and down the stairs before she burst into tears in front of him. Wiping her eyes on the sleeve of the sweater she wore she walked out to the back porch and sat on the swing, curled up tightly.

Loki nodded as she spoke. "Tasha...I know. But he was going to kill you," he said as she walked away. Here he was again...alone. He glanced around the room, seeing it half way done. With a soft, sad sigh he debated on using his magic to finish it. He then went down to see her, deciding against finishing it with magic right then. If it was causing Natasha stress, then he would later.

She heard his statement and frowned. She just wanted to be with him. To make sure he was alright. She didn't want their child to be fatherless. She looked over seeing him and frowned. "I know why you did it. I know you did it for us," She said quietly, tears falling down her cheeks. "But did you ever think... that maybe I would have done the same? That I _did_ the same? You said it yourself... We're not all that different."

Loki nodded softly, sitting down next to her and looking up at the sky. "Yes...I did think, Tasha," he whispered quietly. "But you had to think about our little one."

"I did," She said frowning. "Which is why I left. Which is why I took my leave of absence early. I'm not with SHIELD. As of now... for a time span of I don't know how long yet... I'm a civilian." She looked at him and continued. "I gave up everything for this child. I'm scared out of mind. I don't know how to interact with 'normal' people. I don't know how to do any of this." She curled up and rested her forehead on her knees. "I wanted someone here to hold me and help me adjust. Someone who could take anything and make it theirs. But I didn't. I wanted you! But I couldn't have you. You were working for Thanos because you wanted to free us. You did something brave and… I'm being selfish. I just wanted our child to have a family. To know their father the way I know him."

"Tasha," he muttered sadly, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I will forever be making up for leaving you alone...but I couldn't let you get hurt." He placed his hand on her back and continued, "From now on you say jump and I'll say how high." She looked at him and moved herself to curl up in his lap as she did the night she found him. She held onto him and just sighed. "First off," she said looking up into his face. "You can tell me you love me, and that you're happy with what I've done so far."

Loki shook his head, kissing her forehead. "You know I love you...and that no matter who has my mind...no matter how far away from you I am...I will always love you," he affirmed as he played with her hair. "And everything you do pleases me. You are an amazing woman, Natasha."

She smiled lovingly at him. "I love you too, Loki. And right now I have to use the bathroom before I get sick on you," she quickly got up and ran to the bathroom kneeling on the floor and getting sick. She had been dealing with this for a while, and she was still getting used to it since it wasn't just coming in the morning anymore. Loki followed her, kneeling next to her and holding her hair back with one hand and gently rubbing her back with the other.

Natasha sighed and shivered. She tried to regain her breathing pattern but everything just seemed different. "The world is moving funny," She said through a chuckle. Her mood swings hadn't been bad, but she normally got giggly when she got dizzy. She looked at Loki and giggled. "Hi."

Loki blinked, finding her sudden mood swing slightly funny. "Hey there, Nat," he chuckled slightly. She sighed and groaned. "Bad Natasha. No more doughnuts for lunch even if they really sound good. And no sausage bagels with the doughnuts. Bad Natasha," She sounded like a child and leaned against the wall.

Loki raised an eyebrow, shaking his head slightly at her tone of voice. "Hey, you can't control what you are hungry for, love," he said looking at her. She shivered and curled up smiling at Loki. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you're seeing me like this."

Loki wrapped his arms around her and smiled slightly. "No matter what you're beautiful...and I am glad to be here," he whispered, kissing her forehead. Natasha smiled up at him. "It's been hard without you. I-I missed you a-and thought you might not come back. I was worried Thanos..." She held onto him as tears started to well in her eyes.

"Nothing will keep me away from you and our child," he assured her quietly. She smiled and held onto him tightly. "I love you. So much."

"And I love you," he whispered, playing with her soft hair. She rested her head against his shoulder and smiled. "I have a doctor's appointment. It'll be to check on the baby."

Softly Loki kissed her neck and nodded. "I am sure it is fine," he whispered, placing his hand on her stomach. He couldn't help the feeling inside when his hand rested over her abdomen. Under his hand was a part of him. Something good he had done and helped create. A child from love, both his and hers.

Natasha smiled and put her hand over his. "I just want to be sure it's healthy... and that I'm doing everything right," She said quietly, a slight undertone of worry. "Tasha," He said comfortingly looking into her eyes. "You have been doing perfectly. Nothing is wrong with our child. You're the perfect person to have them because you won't let anything happen. I know that our child is safe with you."

"I hope you're right," She said looking up at him. Natasha got up, using the wall as support and Loki quickly stood up, steadying her. "I'm still getting used to the center of gravity shift," She admitted quietly. Loki blinked for a moment before understanding what she meant. "If it will help, I'll carry you," He offered looking at her with a smile.

"No. I like walking," She said firmly. "No carrying… maybe some carrying but not all the time. How's that?"

"Alright my little spider. That sounds like a fine idea," He stated wrapping his arms around her in a hug. She returned the embrace this time and enjoyed the feeling of having him with her finally. "Thank you," She said quietly into his chest. Loki nodded and ran a hand through her hair. "You are welcome, Natasha." She smiled up at him, glad to finally have him back with her and the feeling of being alone, was gone. She still had worries but they were quieted because he was here with her now.


	34. Celebrate

Natasha took a deep breath looking around the small waiting room. She and Loki were the only ones there, but she was still worried. She had checked in under a fake name, not wanting any paper trail to lead back to her. Wringing her hands nervously she couldn't help but worry over what she'd find out. She was just glad Loki was here with her. "Are you coming in with me?" She asked slightly nervous.

Loki looked around the room at the many pictures on the walls, the empty chairs that made the small room only smaller. When Natasha spoke he looked over at her and nodded slightly. "Only if you want me to come with you, love," he replied.

"I do. I'm nervous." She took his hand and looked up seeing the nurse call for her. She stood up and looked at Loki. "Well?" she asked, biting her lip nervously. He stood with her, taking her hand with a soft nod "Let's go, love," he said, squeezing her hand softly.

She nodded and walked back to the room the nurse told her to go to. "I'll be back to check on you in a bit. I've got to get something from another office." The woman left leaving the couple in the room. Natasha bit her lip and sat on the exam table feeling like... a normal person. "I don't like this." She whispered worry written on her features.

Loki took her hand in hers, squeezing it softly "Tasha, it's going to be alright, love...I'll be right here with you that's a promise." He stated before he kissed her forehead, smiling softly. "If anything seems off, they will have to answer to me."

She smiled and held his hand nodding. "Alright." The nurse walked in and smiled. "Ok. Now it's time to meet your young one." The woman walked over and lifted Natasha's shirt and put a gel on her abdomen. "You're pretty cold." She rubbed the gel around and put a sensor on the gel. On the monitor a picture came up and the technician smiled. "Perfect. There we go. Say hi to your child," She said turning the monitor towards the parents. Natasha blinked and smiled.

Loki watched the nurse's movements like a hawk, making sure that nothing was off about her. When she said to say hi to their child, he looked up towards the monitor. His eyes became soft when he saw the small form.

The nurse moved the sensor around and got a grin on her face. "Looks like... I should say, hello to your children." Natasha's eyes went wide and she stopped breathing. She couldn't remember how to breathe. Children? Children!? Two? She saw the small forms and looked at the children almost wave. She was speechless, and wasn't sure she could reboot her brain into breathing.

Loki's eyes lit up with pride, his heart pounding in his ears. Gently he squeezed her hand, glancing down at her "Nat..."

She heard her name that was all it took for her brain to reboot and tell her body to breathe. She looked up at Loki and smiled. "Ch-Children?" She managed out. The nurse nodded and smiled. "Twins. Congratulations." Natasha smiled brightly and held Loki's hand. "W-We're going to have twins."

Loki placed a kiss to her forehead, pulling back with a lopsided grin on his face. He had never thought he would be this excited to be a father! Let alone to be proud that a mortal was to be the one to mother them. She smiled brightly even though worry was in her eyes. She wasn't the person to be a mother. But... she was happy that she was actually going to be one. "I'm getting pictures done so you can take them with you." She stood up and smiled handing Natasha a paper towel. "You can get that off with that, and the doctor will see you to go over everything during your appointment." She walked out of the room and Natasha wiped the gel from her stomach and righted her shirt. She looked at Loki with tears in her eyes. "We're having twins."

"Yes, we are Natasha," he said proudly. "We're going to be parents. And they'll be as beautiful as their mother."

"And as special as their father," Natasha replied softly. "But they'll have both of their parent's tricks and tongue," Loki stated, holding her close. Natasha wrapped her arms around him and held him. "I love you," She whispered as tears of joy and pride ran down her face. Loki kissed the top of her head and smiled. "Natasha… I would like to do something before our children are born," He said quietly.

"What is that?" She asked looking up at him.

"I want to get married," He stated looking down into her eyes. "So that they have nothing to hold over them, and that they have full right to any throne presented to them if they have it."

"Loki," Natasha said blinking and looking up at him. "A-Are you serious?"

"We do not need to have the giant ceremony now. We can do that after the two are born. I know you have different customs here about this and I'm not quite certain what they are."

"We'll need Maria and Phil," She replied with a smile. He nodded and smiled at her. "Finally you will be my wife."

"I will be," She stated with a nod. He held out his arm for her to take and once she did, they walked out and Natasha pulled out her phone. She called Maria and asked them to drop by the town when they could. Maria agreed and hung up, not quite knowing what the assassin needed her and her husband for.

After a few hours Maria drove up and parked in the town, looking around for Natasha and found her with Loki, walking up to them. "Maria," Natasha said walking up to the woman.

"Natasha," She replied with a nod. "Why do you need us?"

"I need a witness, as does Loki," She stated with a smile. Maria looked confused for a second but a smile spread across her face. "Of course Natasha."

The four of them walked into the courthouse and Loki and Natasha filled out the correct paperwork. As soon as it was finished, they found out they were able to be seen right then. Maria and Phil helped where they could and walked in with the couple as they saw the clerk and there was the justice of the peace. The small ceremony took place with Phil and Maria standing as witnesses as the two got married. "You may now kiss your bride," the justice said to Loki and Natasha.

As suggested, Loki took Natasha in his arms and kissed her tenderly. She smiled against his lips and held him close. As they separated they looked over at Phil and Maria with smiles. "Thank you," Natasha said to the pair of agents. "You're welcome Natasha," Phil stated, giving her a hug. Maria hugged Loki and smiled. "Glad we could help," She said to the god.

"There is no one we would call for this but you," he said simply. "Shall we celebrate?"

"We'll take you both out to dinner," Phil said looking at everyone. "But no champagne or anything for Natasha."

"Nope. I can't do that. But I can have Sprite," She said chuckling and causing everyone else to laugh along with her. This was perfect. She was married to the man she loved; she was bringing children into the world that would be loved and cherished not just by their parents but by their godparents as well. There was a small feeling in Natasha's mind that there would be something that would happen. But that feeling got brushed aside as they all went to celebrate the nuptials.


	35. There Will Always Be a Part of Me

**A/N: I would suggest listening to something during this… but not even I can think of something completely fitting. There is one song in here that you can listen to, to get a feel of what it would sound like. "Good Night My Angel" (originally written and Performed by Billy Joel [Love him]) but this version is by Celtic Woman. If you want something to listen to go to youtube and after .com put this watch?v=hYgJAN1Ol5g Oh! And if you like "Twilight" I'm not hating… just making a slight comparison.**

It had been months since they found out about the twins. She had been getting colder and colder as the children started to grow. It was so cliché... but she felt like the character in the novels the girls talked about around town... a Bella? She thought it was. She was cold from her children, and they were strong. They would occasionally give her bruises, but she was excited. However, she did have an incident about the Bella thing.

A girl had walked up to her and did something she hated. She touched Natasha's stomach, and noticing she was cold grinned. "Oh my gosh! You're Like Bella Swan! Are you carrying a half vampire baby?" The girl looked at Loki and grinned. "Because he looks like he could be a vampire! Do you sparkle in the sun?! Ohmigosh! I can't believe it! You're like… Bella and Edward!"

At that point… Natasha punched the girl. The first reason, for implying that her husband was a vampire… a monster; Second, for implying that her children would be monsters; and the final reason… the girl asked if Loki sparkled. The girl staggered backward and fell to the ground. Natasha casually stepped over and looked down at the teen. "My husband does _not_ sparkle," She stated coolly. Loki couldn't help but grin slightly at her action… and feel worried over the violent nature of it. "Nat," He said looking at the redhead.

"Hormones," She explained as the girl started tearing up and running away. Loki smirked and looked at her. "That's my Natasha," he said wrapping an arm around her and walking away from the scene.

They would be coming into the world soon, and Natasha knew it. She stood in the kitchen humming, happy that she had learned how to move around with her large torso and the center of gravity switch.

Loki however, had been worried about her and the fact she kept getting colder. He watched her walk around the kitchen and he thought something might be wrong. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

She smiled softly feeling him hold her. She hated people touching her because it normally meant the question, "When are you due?" would follow. But she loved being in his embrace. "Cold as always," She replied softly. "But fine. Why?" She was curious as to what would make him ask. He was over protective of her true, and asked it of her often but she understood. They were special. He was a god, a frost giant. She was a human, a mortal… this would be hard on them.

"Just wanted to know and make sure," he said before kissing her neck gently. Before she could get the words "I'm fine" out of her mouth a wave of pain went through her stomach. She gasped and gripped the counter in front of her with one hand while the other clasped Loki's hand around her.

A wave of panic flooded through Loki hearing her gasp. "Tasha… what's going on!?"

"I-I don't know! S-So-Something's going o-on!" She bit her lip from the pain and she started to get colder. Shivering from the pain and coolness. This wasn't what people told her it would feel like. This felt more like a stabbing pain. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom fearing teleporting would hurt her and the children. She looked up at him and winced from a wave of pain washing through her abdomen.

He laid her on the bed gently and sat next to her. She curled up in his arms and winced as he laid her down. She looked up at him with fear in her eyes. She didn't know what to do. They were here alone. No one else could help them because their children were special. She shook like a leaf from the cold she was experiencing and bit her lip trying to refrain from screaming.

Loki frowned, pacing his hands on her arm focusing his magic on trying to warm her. Natasha frowned and bit her lip. "L-Loki... I-I don't know what's going on!" She was confused, worried… and scared. She didn't know how things would work since she was bringing half mortal children into the world. He hoped his magic would warm her but she was to cold, he couldn't do anything to help her. He used his magic to remove the bottom portion of her clothes, knowing that these were contractions. "It's going to be ok," he said comfortingly. He held her hand and tried to tell himself the same thing.

She gripped the sheets and gave a cry as another wave of pain cascaded through her. "Loki… when this is over, remind me to hit you for this!" She said in a strained voice. He knew she didn't mean it, but with everything going on, he nodded and allowed her to say what she wanted. Tears welled in her eyes because part of her knew something was wrong. The pains were coming closer together than she thought they would and through her panic she realized this was the labor she had waited nine months for. Another wave of pain came though her and she cried out again. "I blame you for this!" She said gripping his hand. "I know Natasha," he replied. He was no doctor, but he had been through this before. He moved and let go of her hand, something he didn't want to do. He would be her doctor and this wasn't going to be easy. "Alright Natasha, I need you to push, now," Loki instructed his wife. She followed his instructions and cursed in Russian.

After hours of pain Natasha was finally rewarded with hearing the water cries of her newborn children. She took deep breaths trying to calm down but a new pain made its way through her. It felt like her blood was ice and slicing everything it came in contact with. She tried to hide her winces by rolling onto her side facing away from Loki. She curled up shivering uncontrollably.

Loki smiled with pride and placed the children in two cribs that he summoned in the room before turning to Natasha, cold dread running through him. "Tasha!" He cried seeing her in the state she was in. He went to her side, taking her hand in his. There was no warmth there like there had been earlier.

She looked at him and couldn't stop the tears in her eyes. "I-I know w-what I-I want their names t-to be," She managed out through a few winces.

"Tasha, shh," he wrapped his arms around her icy body, hoping to warm her. "It's going to be ok. You are going to be ok, my love."

She frowned starting to feel numb. Her head was splitting and she was crying. "I-I Think... w-we should... n-name the g-girl…" She said as she smiled and winced. "Rowena Madison." She managed out before curling in on herself. "A-And the boy... M-Matthew Joel."

"Those are beautiful names, love," his voice cracked as tears rolled down his cheeks. "Nat...you're going to be ok...you have to be ok." He couldn't help but think the final word _please._

Natasha put a frigid hand on his cheek wincing at the movement. "I-I love you. A-And I-I'm... sorry." The tears that fell from her eyes started to crystallize as they touched her skin. She wanted to scream from the pain she felt but she couldn't wake the children.

Loki shook his head, placing his hand over hers. "No...no...you can't leave me...not like this," he whispered. This was his fault, he had done this to her...he was cursed, nothing more than a monster.

She saw the look in his eyes... the self-loathing look she knew was in hers before she had found him. "S-Shhh..." She said placing a finger on his lips. "I-I wouldn't h-have a-agreed to m-marry you... If I d-didn't know the c-consequences. Y-You a-are the best thing t-that e-ever happened to me." She winced and felt her head feel as though it was going to burst. Her mind was going black and her breathing slowed. "Don't...hate yourself. How can you... teach our children... love... if you... can't love you... as I always... will."

Loki shook his head, trying to clear the tears threatening to fall. "You can't go..." he whispered, his body racking with the sobs he was holding back. "We need you...please..." he tightened his arms around her, knowing that if she left him...he would become numb to everything that he would be alone. "I love you more than anything...please," he begged. She was his everything. She saved him, she was his world. He couldn't lose her.

"I-I'll never b-be g-gone... I-It might be a-a look... a-a l-laugh... R-Rowena's sm-smile... I-I'll a-al-always... be here," she looked up at him and tried to stay. But the cold wouldn't fade. It got worse if it was at all possible. She prayed to whatever deity could help them. She didn't want him to be alone; she never even got to hold her children. She wanted to stay. But the frozen hand on her shoulder told her that she couldn't stay.

Loki placed a soft kiss to her cold lips, knowing that it was selfish to make her stay here in pain. Quietly he began to sing one of the Nordic songs that was to be sung to those who were to leave the mortal realm. "In this silent mound I lie. Do not mourn me, do not cry. After labours I may rest. A life lived well, this prize ist best. Let these treasures stay above; Give me remembrance, and your love. Midgard I'll no longer roam: To my Gods I'm going home." Tears rolled down his cheeks as he rocked her slowly back and forth in his arms.

She smiled up at him and managed to sing the song she would hum to herself while she sat in the nursery, waiting for the children to be here. "Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream. And dream how wonderful your life will be. Someday our child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby, Then in your heart there will always be a part of me. Someday we'll all be gone, But lullabies go on and on. They never die, That's how you and I will be." She closed her eyes and whispered, "I... Love... you, Loki." Her chest fell for the final time, her body fell limp in his arms and her head fell to the side.

He looked at her and let loose the sob he had been holding inside. After everything he did to save her, give his mind to Thanos, give his own life… she died because of him. Because of something he did to her. He held her limp body close to him and sobbed. Everything that was precious in his life was taken from him at one point or another. He had lost her… forever. She was the only person who would look at him as though he was good, who wouldn't second guess him because they knew who he really was. "Natasha," he whispered in her ear, burying his face in her flame red locks. He placed a kiss on her cold forehead and rested his own against the pale, lifeless skin of his world. Tears wouldn't stop streaming from his eyes. He loved her, she was the only one he really loved. And now… she was gone. He was alone. He remembered the words she had said to him the night they met, _Funny thing I guess… People dying or seeming to die that I care about._ He cared about her, and she was gone.

He said, he wouldn't let her get hurt, and he was the reason she was gone. But she asked him not to loathe himself… he had to honor her last wish. He wouldn't loathe himself… hut he would be upset with himself for a while. However… he wasn't sure how long that would be exactly. He looked over at the children, sleeping in the cribs. He had to be strong for them, the only pieces of his wife he had left in this world.


	36. Alone and Scared

Loki hadn't been himself Phil noticed over the past few days. He could understand it seeing as Loki had lost the woman who believed in him through everything. He still couldn't believe that the agent was gone. They were all taking it hard. Loki spent his time alone, not really wanting to be with anyone while Maria spent her time with the children. It had been a few days and Phil sighed not liking what was going on today.

Dressed in black, the three adults were gathered in the back yard of the house. Loki hadn't wanted to cremate her for some reason so they agreed on keeping her near the house. It would be where only they knew and they wouldn't have to tell anyone. Maria had dressed Natasha in one of her black dresses and made her up, dreading the task though. Loki had set up where she would be buried and used his magic to create her resting place. Phil had worked around the house and was there to hold Maria when she broke down and cried.

They headed out to where Loki had set everything up for Natasha's… funeral. They would be the only ones in attendance, not because she had no one in her life, but the fact that Loki had wanted everyone to believe she lived and was still on her leave of absence. He thought there might be a way to bring her back. He needed her in his life because without her… everything good was gone. Everything beautiful in his life, the woman he loved completely… was gone. He figured that would happen at some point which is why he wanted to find her immortality. But he was too late. He could have saved her if he looked harder. But he didn't. It was his fault she died, he gave her the children and they were half frost giant. He should have known this might happen. A mortal giving birth to half frost giants wasn't good at all.

The only thing he had left of his wife were the two small children, wrapped in the blankets their mother and slept with, wanting to make sure that while she was pregnant. She had their baby blankets with her and wanted to keep them close to the children they were intended for. He had thought it was silly while she was doing it, now he understood it. The slight scent of their mother and the warmth of her love rested in those blankets, so they had a part of her with them. He held them both in his arms, Rowena and Matthew, sleeping soundly as they all spoke of the woman who now rested in the garden of flowers. "She was the best person once you got through that protective shell of hers," Maria said quietly. "She was loyal and sweet when you got to know her. I didn't know much about her, because she kept her history to herself. Natasha Romanoff will always be positively remembered with us here."

Phil gave a nod of agreement, wrapping his arm around his wife, looking at the marker holding the redhead's name and two dates. "Goodbye Natasha Romanoff," Phil said quietly. "You will be missed and remembered. Your children will be loved and well cared for." Everyone standing around had tears in their eyes and running down their face. This woman deserved so much more, but she would have only wanted this.

"This will not be goodbye my little spider," Loki stated quietly. "I will find a way to see you again." The three agents walked back into the house, the god quieting his children that had started to cry. They quieted down slightly as he began to sing the lullaby their mother had sang while they were in her womb. He wanted her here with him, he couldn't do this alone… he now knew how she felt when he had sent her back and given his mind to Thanos. He was alone.

_**oOo**_

It was cold, dark, and… scary. Natasha was afraid to admit that last one, but it was. She didn't understand where she was, but she knew she didn't like it. Looking around she tried to gain some semblance of the area she was currently residing in. She didn't remember much. She just remembered feeling cold, and a voice hissing in her mind's ear telling her, "It's your time. Come with me and the pain will go away."

She walked through the tangible darkness, hearing things around her. Echoes, ghostly whispers, muffled screams, and more were sounds she heard in the darkness. She began to panic. Maybe she hadn't done everything she could to wipe out the red. She knew it would never be completely gone, be she hoped that everything she did had helped her chances more. Maybe this… was Hell. She didn't deserve to go to heaven. She didn't deserve any of the good things in her life. She'd done so much bad… how she could ever think she deserved that grace was a mystery.

As she walked the noises got louder and there were sharp pains that radiated through her. She didn't understand them but they seemed to feel like ice in her veins. There was a foggy memory in her mind about this feeling, this pain… but she couldn't remember it all completely. As Natasha made her way through the darkness, she didn't know where she was, where she was going, or what lay ahead for her. Finally she stopped walking and immediately felt hands on her pulling her down, up, left, right, every way they could. She fought off the hands, trying to find the bodies they belonged to but found nothing but darkness. The hands clawed at her, grabbed her, dragged her, and gripped her. She didn't know what she could do to get them to stop, to get them to let her go. She panicked and struggled working to get herself free of their clutches.

She fought for what seemed like hours. Finally the hands let her go and she ran from the spot. She was tired from fighting but knew she couldn't stay in one place for too long. If she did, she'd experience that again and it frightened her. She came to a light and looked at it, having a terrible feeling of what would happen if she touched it. She had lost all track of time here, not quite sure of anything anymore. She finally gave into the exhaustion and curled up, falling asleep.

Upon her waking pain radiated through her again. She didn't know how long she had been here but even in the darkness, it felt like days. It probably was just hours, maybe even minutes… but the darkness pressed in on her and distorted time around her. Then, she felt someone rest a hand on her shoulder. "Come with me," The voice said calmly and comfortingly. Without giving the option for her to reply, the hand took her away and when she opened her eyes, bright lights surrounded her.

"Where am I? What happened?" She asked looking around, wincing from the pain the lights caused her.

"You are safe. That is all that matters for now," the voice stated. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I remember everything. I didn't even get to hold my children," She said as she began to cry. "I'll never see them again."

"You will," the voice told her. "For you are no longer dead. You have been in a state of waiting... what you would call Purgatory for a month in Midgardian time."

"Midgardian time…" She said through tears. "You're…"

"Yes. And you will stay here, until I determine it," The voice stated. Natasha looked around for the source of the voice, but everything was so bright. It was a commanding and strong tone. Definitely a hierarchal male. But she couldn't tell who it was that was speaking to her. It wasn't one of the two she'd heard call Earth Midgard so… it had to be someone they knew though. When her eyes finally adjusted there was a white haired and bearded man with a gold patch covering one eye looking at her. "Who are you?"

"I am Odin, the All-Father. And you Natalia Romanova, are in Asgard," he stated motioning to the realm she never thought she'd see. And Loki was right… it was beautiful.


End file.
